A while back I posted about a friend of mine who desperately wanted children but the man she was with already had one from a previous relationship and didn’t want anymore… here’s a follow up for all of you who gave her advice! And with her permission, I’m quoting here from an email conversation she and I had.
“…You are the first person I am saying this to, so bear with me if I don’t make sense: It’s been a month since we broke up and I am… FINE. And, honestly, I’ve been fine since week one. It’s just such a relief to be able to dream about the future and children and a family and all the things that all girls want and not be stuck with someone who’s not interested in all that. I can finally sit and fantasise about holding a baby… and not be angry at my partner cause he doesn’t want to give me that. When we used to be together, I would get so jealous when he spoke about how much he loves his daughter and how awesome it is, etc. Not because I wanted his attention, but because I wanted to feel that way about my own child. And I thought it very selfish of him to always rave and rant about ‘I love being a parent’ in front of me, knowing damn well that he’s not interested in awarding me the same privilege. We’re still friends and I’ll always have a place in my heart for him, but it’s never going to be more than that again. Now, the problem is: where do I meet the man who’s going to father my children?? I’m sure you know what I mean when I say there’s just no good ones out there…“
I am SO impressed with and proud of her for taking such a bit step forward in her life! And I am convinced that the fact that she is fine with her decision is just proof positive that she made the right decision. You go girl!
There Is Never An Excuse
One in three is not a statistic - one in three is a crying shame.