Today started pretty much like every other day.
-> My alarm goes off
-> I repeatedly wake Damien up
-> He grumbles and complains for ten minutes about having to get up
-> I try to ignore this while i make him breakfast
-> He eats while I get dressed for work
-> He brushes his teeth while i make sure there’s no “contraband” in his school bag
-> I go and do my make up while he fixes the cats litter box
-> We leave for work and school
-> We argue in the car over something miniscule
-> I drop him off and kiss him good bye and say “Love you, have a nice day.”
In between all of this we’re usually arguing constantly over something or other. Yesterday- I went to do my make up and my two black eyleliners are missing. I was off sick over the weekend and on Monday & Tuesday so I didn’t wear any make up, and I do not carry mine with me. I ask Damien if he perhaps knows what happened to them (since he does not leave my stuff aloe- EVER- my hair gel gets turned into dinosaur drool and my rings are taken apaprt for LEGO treasure). He is immediately upset and denies any knowledge of the vanishing pencils. Now, when he gets on the defensive like that- he’s usually feeling guilty, but actually getting him to admit he did something and apologise is like pulling bloody hen’s teeth! Hence what could have been a twenty minute “discussion” turns into a two day argument with tears and shouting and a full on door slamming performance of note. Today the “discussion” continued since my pencilas had not re-appeared (which occasionally happens). These are not just eyeliners (granted- they’re expensive AVON glimmersticks that I adore), they’re principles. He has made absolutely NO effort to even try and adhere to any of my boundaries- NONE whatsoever. So I went into his room and started looking over his desk to see if they were there. As if to prove a point, I found one of my rings- but no pencils. This is the first time I’ve actually gone into his room looking for something of mine… now I dread what I might find if I really look! And- this moning- for the first time ever, I did not kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him. I thought, maybe if for once, everything is NOT hunky-friggin-dory by the time we get to the school… maybe he’ll “catch a wake up”.
There Is Never An Excuse
One in three is not a statistic - one in three is a crying shame.