Breakfast Conversation

the mommy (in her bedroom): Damien…? Where are you?
the son: In the lounge…
the mommy: Are you dressed?
the son: YEEEEESSSSS!!!!
the mommy: Have you had your meds?
the son: YEEEEESSSSS!!!!
the mommy: Have you finished your breakfast?
the son: YEEEEESSSSS!!!! mutter mutter mutter
the mommy: Are you playing ps2?
silence
the mommy (in the bathroom): Damien… are you playing games?
the son: YES!! And I’ve done everything I need to do!
the mommy (in the loo, looking at the litter-box): You haven’t scooped the cats litter-box or washed your hair- like I asked you to…
the son: I have done the litter-box and I don’t need to wash my hair!
the mommy (back in the bathroom): Sweetie, you haven’t done the litter-box and you do need to wash your hair…
the son: YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I’VE DONE SOMETHING!!!
the mommy (back in the bedroom): I do believe you, Sweetie, but in this case I can see you haven’t done what I asked you.
the son (in the loo, scooping the litter-box): mutter mutter mutter mutter
the mommy: don’t forget to wash your…
the son (in the passage- defiant stance, feet planted): I DO NOT NEED TO WASH MY HAIR!
the mommy: You do, I have asked you to wash it everyd…
the son (still in the passage- still with the defiant stance): I WON’T!
the mommy: Excuse m…
the son (still in the passage- still with the defiant stance): NO! I WON’T!
the mommy: You will wash your ha…
the son (still in the passage): I WON’T! AND I DON’T HAVE TO- THE FUCKING BOOK OF LAW SAYS I CAN SAY “NO”!!
the mommy (stunned speechless momentarily): What the hell are you going on about!?! Of course you’re allowed to say “no”- to things like drugs, cigarettes, sex, abuse, crime! You may NOT say no when your mother- who is duty bound by that same “book of law” to raise you and educate you and house you and feed you and keep you safe- but who does it because she loves you- gives you a perfectly reasonable instruction!

Since this is only a slight variation of a daily exchange… I was suddenly reminded why I am looking forward to having my house to myself for two weeks!
But I still don’t like the fact that I can’t talk to him everyday while he’s gone…

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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6 Responses to Breakfast Conversation

  1. Dawn says:

    Hahahah – this is when you want to look at them and SCREAM – “what do you think I am doing this job for – d’you think it’s a frigging calling or something!” Got to love them though – I think it’s cool that he feels safe enough to let it all hang out with you. If they can’t let their hair down at home now and then, where can they? (I hope I don’t end up eating my words.) All jokes aside, it’s toug – I have a soon to be 18 year old [step] son. My husband is convinced that at 13 they put their brains in a box under their bed and only pull the box out again somewhere between 19 and 21.

  2. NMOTB says:

    oh my greatness, I can just picture the two of you….lol!

  3. NYC TAXI SHOTS says:

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  4. Display Name says:

    Believe it or not, by the end of his camp, he is going to miss you like mad.

  5. Spookie the Warrior says:

    Well I should bloody hope he did. Sheesh, sometimes I wonder – why am I doing this mom thing again??

    LOL, book of law hey – that was funny….

  6. angel says:

    i forgot to put that he did apologise for the language…