This Is Supposed To Be A Mommy-Blog

And I have said as much many times, I know. But my darling Damien has been an insufferable little troll for the last coupla weeks and if I write about that everyday- I fear I may very well chase all my readers away… repeating myself is the least of my worries. I truly don’t understand why he is the way he is- the only way I can get him to be even vaguely civil to me is to practically ignore him and use one word answers. Then he attempts to make conversation. But I hate doing that. Before he’s even opened his eyes in the morning he’s all but growling at me and complaining about how he didn’t sleep enough and about how I don’t wake him up properly… how do I wake him up, I hear you ask? I stand at his door and I call him softly to wake him up. He doesn’t hear his or my alarms, and he doesn’t want me in his bedroom, and by the time he’s conscious enough to answer me, his subconscious has heard me call him several times and he’s irritated already. And I get no better reaction if I wake him with a cup of tea! And then- when he’s actually up and out of bed- he stomps around and bitches and complains constantly. Beginning with but not limited to how he doesn’t like what I want him to eat for breakfast, and then he flat ignores me and has what he wants for breakfast anyway.
Then he has a fit if I ask if he’s brushed his teeth and done his hair- especially since lately he likes the bed head look A LOT and it really looks like he’s done nothing with it! I don’t insult him- I just ask, in as neutral a tone as possible, if he’s done everything he wants to do. This is usually followed by much door slamming and shouting about how it’s his life and he can eat what he wants and he doesn’t have to brush his teeth if he doesn’t want to and he likes his hair the way it is and why don’t I listen when he talks. And let me make this clear, he is literally shouting- and finger pointing- at me. While he’s ranting I am breathing deeply and slowly and doing my level best to keep my hands at my sides and not giving in to the temptation to grip him by the ears and brain him on the nearest wall… then there’s his rant about how I won’t give him money for school everyday. By the time I get to work I am quite literally exhausted. Then fetching him from school at around lunchtime is another joyride. 4 days out of 5 he’s in a foul temper because of all sorts of things, so we don’t talk much on the way home. He’s s’posed to be going to an aftercare place of some type but insists he’s old enough to go home alone, I let him since its only a couple of hours till I get home- and I provide him with a strict set of instructions. Most days, I’ll get home and he’s playing PS2, he hasn’t eaten and hasn’t studied or finished his homework. An argument then ensues as to why he ignored the rules thereby proving himself incapable of being responsible followed by him stomping off to the bathroom or his bedroom slamming as many doors as possible along the way. And then I’ll catch him smoking in his bedroom- or in my bathroom- and he’ll deny it!!!!
Right, so if I don’t mention Damien for a while, it’s probably because we aren’t speaking to each other…

11 thoughts on “This Is Supposed To Be A Mommy-Blog

  1. I feel for you! That sounds like a teenager in my home – and I totally relate to being exhausted by the time you get in the car to go to work/school – let alone by the time you get to work. I would not have the audacity to comment on ADHD as I have no knowledge – but I can say that these teen years are like hell with some teenagers. If it makes you feel any better, they do seem to chill a bit around the 18 year old mark – but by that time you barely want anything to do with them anymore. I guess HANG IN is the best I can offer you … other than assuring you that sharing your load would certainly not scare me off – EVER. Thinking of you SUPERSHERO!!!! Love You. xoxo

  2. If you’re soliciting opinions or welcoming them, Angel, I hope you won’t be offended…

    It sounds to me like D needs a swift kick in the ass, and I am not a supporter or practitioner of corporal punishment. I also realize this is probably much more easily done by a man.

    Is it possible he’s using the ADHD thing as an excuse to treat you this way? Yes, it may be a cause in part for this behaviour. But is it also an easy out for him?

    The bottom line is you should not be subjected to this and he will not be able to function this way as an adult.

    Those are two good reasons why it must change. OK, he has no father and he has ADHD. That’s lotsa shit, for sure. But those things aren’t going to change.

    Anger management therapy? Other forms of therapy for you both? I hope you’re not offended by what I’ve said.

  3. Ok, that sounds like a reasonable way to look at things but that also teaches him to disrespect you! and that he can speak to you any way he pleases? or have I got the cat on the balls here?

  4. nmotb: you’re so very sweet- and trust me, reacting to him in any way simply aggravates the situation, that’s why i try not to react…

    spookie: i may have patience now- but you know i didn’t always- and it’s a daily “struggle” slash lesson. i also have a little chemical assistance…

    katt: i am far from a saint skattie- but thanx for the compliment!

    phats: i hope to christmas this stage ends quick like!

    buddess: i taught you something!??! wow- what was it… mwaaaaaahahahaha!!! as for the doors- i rent my flat so i don’t tamper with any fittings if i can help it…

    terri: i think damien just doesn’t like waking up… as for what i lost- everyday i remember something else! you have a lekker weekend!

    supermom: thanx mel!

  5. Howzit China Bean 😉
    Well now it looks like I’ve missed quite a week in your life – is it only a week since I was last here?
    My mom used to walk into our bedrooms, fling open the curtains, noisily set down a cuppa coffee on the table and say in her best sing-song voice, “Wakey Wakey, Rise and Shine” then she’d leave the room before we could yell at her.
    Some people just don’t like waking up.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your laptop crashing; it’s terribly that you lost so much stuff!
    I haven’t read Part 5 yet but I’ll do that this weekend when I have a bit of time instead of trying to sneak it in at work. You have a great day, Angel!

  6. I agree wholeheartedly with all the above comments. If you feel the need to say it then say it. This is one of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog!!! You have taught me so many things and I wouldn’t have known it had it not been for your open and honest blogging!!!!
    Ever thought of removing all the doors he keeps slamming????? I told the 16 year old that if ever he slams the door in my face again, I will take it off and burn it. Hasn’t happened again. YET!

  7. Give him a timeout in the naughty chair! haha Oh wait that’s nanny 911 sorry.

    I think it’s just part of growing up every kid goes thru that stage of not wanting anything to do with their parents. and yes this is what blogs are for! 🙂

  8. Angel, don’t worry about chasing away readers. The ones who care will always read your blog. Rant if you want to rant, laugh if you want laugh and blog because it is about you.

    Our blogs are our outlets, our release. It wouldn’t make sense to produce for the masses.

    Oh, and by the way, I think you should be nominated for sainthood. Saint Angel – got a lovely ring to it.

  9. I don’t know how you do it. I would have brained my kid if it were me – but then, I can just get Dad when Marke gets stroppy – which is something you can’t do.

    But when it comes to the playstation, I take the main cable that goes from PS2 to tv away cause otherwise they also play all day long and will also adamntly deny it. And if you think Damien will find it if you hide it put it in your bag and take it with you – your bag is big enough for that. If they cannot resist temptation, then remove the temptation. That works really well.

    I do take my hat off to you however. You do have FAR more patience than me.

  10. I dunno pal, I won’t stand for that treatment, I just don’t know how you do it????????????? By not reacting to the way he speaks to you, is that the right thing or does it not help if you do? (excuse my ignorance here). You are really a great mom and I take my hat off to you for what you do for D!!!!

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