You Know What I Should Have Added…

As my “number six” on my six weird things about me list? I should have included my public toilet routine! It borders on OCD bunnies! I despise public toilets- of all kinds- if I can, I’ll hold everything in till I get home! If I had my way- every toilet would have a massive sign on the back of the door that reads as follows:

That’s great.
I’m so happy for you
Now, if you did not wipe or cover the seat, you will have just exposed your bare skin to over 45 different bacteria per square inch of toilet seat.
By putting your handbag on the floor you have exposed it to even more bacteria, germs and fecal matter. Just don’t put it on your desk, see…
By not washing your hands before you leave, you will be spreading these same bacteria to your even dirtier desktop, keyboard, cellular phone, telephone and mouse.
Have a nice day.

I know not everyone reads the signs on the back of the door- and there’re lots of them, asking politely to keep the loo clean and remember to flush and so on- but it may go a little way towards waking people up! I cannot, in this day and age, believe how many women go to the toilet and do not wash their hands when they leave! And let’s be honest with ourselves girls- we don’t get away with clean dry hands 100% of the time!
Anyhoo. I have a routine that I go through in a public loo.
First of all, I use my backside or elbow to push the door open. If there are disposable wipes available, I take three. I use the first one to wipe the latch on the inside of the door- the one I use to close and lock the door. I use the second one to wipe the flush handle and the inside and outside of the toilet lid where I will be touching (as little of it as possible) to open and close the lid. The third one I use to wipe the seat itself. All three then go into the bowl. I do not touch the toilet paper dispenser if I can help it- only the roll itself. I then close the toilet lid and flush it. Before I wash my hands, I grab some paper towels to turn the tap on and off with. I use a piece of said paper towel to dispense some soap into my hands. I then dry my hands completely. On the way out I grab another disinfectant wipe to open the door with (because of all the people who don’t wash their hands you know). I try not to touch any part of myself on the way back to my office or wherever until I get to use my alcohol based waterless hand washing liquid- that lives in my handbag permanently.
If I walk into a public loo and there are no disposable wipes… if I absolutely have to I might cover the toilet seat with strips of bog-roll, but I will more often simply leave and wait till I get home.
Of course, it doesn’t stop at the toilet… I try not to touch anyone else’s door handle, keyboards or computer mouse if I can help it. And I regularly wipe down my office phone and door handle!
I’m pretty much fine at home and at my friend’s and family’s homes- at home mostly because they’re mine and Damien’s germs… I put the seat up when I’m done so that I don’t have to fight with Damien.

6 thoughts on “You Know What I Should Have Added…

  1. tom cat: glad i could make you laugh!

    nmotb: heh heh- then i’ve also got “k.h.s.”

    now i’ll call you dino: i also do the tp thing sometimes… but if it falls off or if its all just too grosss i’d rather leave!

    spookie: ja jong… i never used to be!

    terri: at the very least doll!

  2. I only use the wipes and stuff to clean the loo before taking a seat and AFTER washing my hands. Not quite as bad as you….hehehe

  3. I trained Grumpy to put the seat down I can’t stand it when its up. I will go through great lengths to avoid public bathrooms and if I have not choice I will layer the seat with TP. I actually got a heat stroke because my mom and I were on a road trip and I didn’t drink anything since I didn’t want to have to go to the bathroom

  4. OMG – You are just the funniest!! I dont use public toilets – Like Mr. NMOTB sais – I suffer from “kak huis stress” – only use my own if it is at all possible and most times I land up looking like a toby from all the “knuiping” only because I hate using any other toilet than my own! My goodness what strange things we get up to as humans!!!! hehehe!

    Oh BTW, I have got karate tonight, so what time will I see you? I will be home just after 7 or so.

  5. lol.. that was a funny post! 🙂

    I always leave the seat down. To me, the toilet just looks dreadfully incomplete when the seat is UP. hehe

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