Life Is Nothing But A Series Of Crosses For Us Mothers

Colette said that… whoever she is.
Here’s the thing. Yesterday morning at work, I checked my wallet… because I needed some little things like bread and milk and I wanted to see how much I had. What I had had in my wallet the previous afternoon was literally all I had left… I have also told Damien a few times in the last few months that we won’t be anywhere near the lap of luxury for a loooong time! We won’t lose our flat or our car and we won’t go hungry, but take out and coca cola is history for a while.
So yesterday morning, I find just ten bucks in my wallet.
So I kept quiet- at work- but I knew Damien had taken the rest.
Thank goodness for my happy pills bunnies…
Any of my fairly regular- or long term- readers may remember that this is not the first time I’ve had trouble with Damien having “sticky fingers”, and we deal with it, you know? But it doesn’t ever get easy and it ALWAYS disappoints me.
So when I fetched Damien yesterday, we drove away from the house he goes to after school and I asked him if he had something to tell me.
He was quiet for a while and said “Yes”.
Then I replied that he knew that I knew and that if he lied to me his punishment would be worse than he thought…
He answered that he’d taken sixty bucks out of my wallet that morning to buy raw materials to make scenery for the Warhammer club at school.
I just said ok.
When we got home, I handed him a shopping bag and told him to make a selection from his CD, DVD and PS2 and to pack his little CD player boom box thingy in the bag and I said that if he refused to choose any CDs or DVDs I’d do it for him. I also took his wallet with his bank card in it. He didn’t argue. He packed some stuff and we then made a quick trip to the Cash Converters in the nearby shopping centre and pawned it all. At the pawn shop I told him he had the option of buying his stuff back at the end of the month if he wanted to. He said no. So I got my money back, and then some, and then we went and did some grocery shopping.
It was not and will not be mentioned again because he has now been punished.
This was not the first time either- several years ago he took fifty bucks out of my wallet and I pawned his new scooter (those silver fold up two wheel thingies that were all the rage at one time) to get my money back. He wasn’t happy- but he didn’t do it again for a while…
A lot of ADHDers learn best from “natural” consequences- like cause and effect. Giving them a hiding or grounding them doesn’t work too well because they’ve forgotten the incident less than an hour later… at least, Damien does…
So what would you have done?

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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6 Responses to Life Is Nothing But A Series Of Crosses For Us Mothers

  1. angel says:

    allbodies: thank you everyone for backing me up! what would i do without you…

  2. Eternally Curious says:

    You know I fully support how you handled this! Why? Because you know I’ve done the same equivalent (more or less) to Hubby who has had sticky fingers these past 10 years. It took me 10 years…you’re on to it right on. I’m very proud of you!

  3. Within Without says:

    I think you did exactly the right thing, Angel. It’s tough love, it’s true punishment, it’s tit for tat, which he has to understand.

    He’ll get it eventually.

    🙂

  4. Dino aka Katy says:

    you know what I totally agree that was an awesome way to drive the point home. I have to remember that if I ever have kids and they have sticky fingers

  5. Spookie the Warrior says:

    I would have done EXACTLY that too!Well done and well handled. I are very poud of yoo!

  6. Anonymous says:

    I would have done what you did. You did good precious. Now its over and we all move on.
    Love you to the sun, around it back + again. Forgiveness and forgetting makes the crosses much lighter.
    M?M