I Think I’m Too Young For This!

My darling Damien is sixteen years old today!

Thassarrriiiight? Sixteen years ago, at 2h47 in the morning, he made his entry into my world.

I have told Damien that he can tell people I’m five years older than I am if he wants to- ‘coz then I look fabulous for a thirty eight year old? but really bunnies, this birthday has hit me really hard! I have had to pinch myself over and over again for the last week or so every time I think about how old Damien is now. I woke him up this morning by singing happy birthday to him; I gave him the new Blunt magazine and a Garfield birthday card with money in it,

In preparation for this day, I started this a while ago, and I was a little over half way with it when my laptop crashed and I lost it all! So I started it all over again. I did my list of “100 things about me” (which almost seems to be a requirement when you start blogging), I’d love to know what he thinks about it when he reads it one day!

My Darling Damien, the light of my life and apple of my eye, my reason for being- here is a list of 50 things about you? from my point of view.

1. You were born the day before your official due date at 02h47 on a cool Friday morning in April after only about 5 hours of labour.

2. My Mommy Darling was with me when you were born and she was the first to hold you after the nurse gave you to me, and she was with you when they weighed and measured you.

3. You weighed in at an exceptionally healthy 3.2kg (7lb) and were exactly 50cm (19.7 inches) long.

4. Sadly, I remember very little about your birth- and I’d love to know how come everyone else remembers the birth of their child and I don’t? Mommy Darling says I held you and said you were beautiful. The last thing I remember was the doctor telling me “?look!” as you were crowning, and all I could see was the top of your head covered in dark hair!

5. You were a “handful” in the hospital already? when you had to go into the incubator with jaundice- it took me and my mom to put the little mask on your eyes!

6. In the incubator- you were supposed to lie naked on your tummy- but you wriggled and screamed and squirmed until you flipped yourself onto your side with your back against the incubator glass? and then went to sleep! I got two nurses to watch you do it because they insisted a three day old baby couldn’t turn himself over!

7. Back then, childbirth still warranted a week in hospital, and we went home 6 days later. It was during the school holidays so Mommy and Daddy Darling, sister B, sister C and da Bruvva all came to fetch us.

8. We stopped in at Ouma’s house for tea on the way home? a move that if I think about it was a subtly deliberate one by my Mommy Darling because my Ouma had not wanted me to visit while I was pregnant for fear of embarrassing herself? now she had to explain the sudden appearance of a great-grandchild to her guests. I don’t remember my Ouma not wanting to see me, we were very close and we stayed that way- you were very close to her too.

9. Every lady in our church who could do so- knitted you a jersey or a pair of booties or something! You were much loved from the moment I announced your pending arrival.

10. You had lots of hairstyles as a little boy- I experimented on you and your lovely thick straight hair!

11. You were sitting when you were 5 months old!

12. You hated being bathed in the little plastic baby bath- but when I started bathing you in the big bath you loved it- and still do! Now it’s more a fight to get you out than in!

13. You were pulling yourself up on the furniture by the time you were 7 months old!

14. I discovered your first tooth when I gave you a sip of water from my glass- you were standing in your camping cot in granny’s garden- and I heard your new tooth clink-clink on the glass!

15. You loved drawing from the moment you learned to hold a pencil? and you drew on everything! You still do!

16. The first movie you watched all the way through was the animated movie “The Land Before Time”, you lay on the carpet in front of your grandparent’s TV and didn’t take your eyes off the screen or say a word!

17. From the moment you learned to hold things in your hands you just loved LEGO and blocks and would spend hours playing with them all on your own. You still enjoy your LEGO.

18. When you were about 3 years old you loved the Shakadimas & Pliers song “I Like To Move It Move It”.

19. One of you favourite songs when you were about 5 years old was “Lemon Tree” by Savage Garden.

20. Another favourite song at about the same time was Six was Nine’s “Drop Dead Beautiful”.

21. One of the things you loved doing was standing wedged in behind your Grampa’s shoulder in his bakkie with your arm around your Grampa’s shoulders, talking about the cars you saw on the road.

22. As a teenager- starting at around age 12- I am convinced that you had a microchip implanted in your brain and were being controlled remotely by a soap opera bad guy? with the only buttons on the remote control being things like “whine” “shout” “moan” “complain” “jump to conclusions” “go smoke” “frown” “glare” and “stomp around”?

23. Yet in spite of this, you’ll still go to the movies with me, or out to eat. Or stroll around a mall! I love how you still love to spend time with me!

24. You once told me you loved me because I know exactly how much marmite to put on your sandwiches.

25. You have these little brainwaves all the time- like when you told me “I know how to kill Superman- Kryptonite bullets!”

26. Once, when you were about seven years old, we were watching a Star Wars movie and when the Deathstar blew up the princess’ home planet, you asked how it could explode into fire like it did if there’s no oxygen in space! Needless to say, I was quite speechless?

27. Another time we were watching Monsters Inc, and when the one monster asked the other for odourant (instead of deodorant) and the stuff had names like “smelly garbage” and “wet dog”, you said that the monsters must smell like cookies when they sweat if they deliberately spray yucky smells on themselves!

28. You absolutely love the “Star Wars” movies- all six of them! You’ve probably watched them so many times you could recite whole scenes off the top of your head!

29. The same with the three “Matrix” movies?

30. And of course- the three “Jurassic Park” movies!

31. As a little boy, you loved dinosaurs- almost as much as you loved sharks! You could name them and you read books about them that we borrowed from the library!

32. You have wanted to be a marine biologist since you were knee-high to a grasshopper! When you were about seven years old I gave you the proper name (marine biologist) because up till then you simply spoke about studying sharks one day. Your dream is to study them and make movies for National Geographic!

33. I have given you many, many nicknames over the years- usually food related! Your grampa started calling you “Stawbreez” as a baby, and when you decided you were too big for that one I started with “Monster”, “Munchkin”, “Punkin”, “Narna”, “Sweet Pea”, “Sweetie Peepers”, “Squashie” and “Knucklehead”! You poor child?

34. I love how you wrote letters to Santa until you were about 12 years’ old- just to indulge me!

35. I love how you still take part in family Easter egg hunts and Christmas gift giving traditions and things like decorating the Christmas tree, no matter how idiotic your teenage brain tells you it all is!

36. Your current music taste runs to bands like “Korn” and “Slipknot”? luckily we share some of the same tastes like “Metallica” and “My Chemical Romance”, so we can at least listen to the same radio station? most of the time!

37. You have an incredible way with animals? it still amazes me- on a regular basis- how you can deal with animals as if you’ve done it all your life.

38. If there’s one thing on this planet that can make me smile- its hearing you laugh! It’s totally infectious, and I love hearing it.

39. Greebo, who was supposed to be my cat? sleeps with you, and only with you! Whether you pass out on the couch after a Playstation marathon or sleep in your bed.

40. You know me far too well! You know exactly what I like and dislike from jewelry to food!

41. You are incredibly artistic and creative and the things you create out of your head are incredible!

42. I love how unselfconscious you are about doing the things you enjoy- from playing with your cousins to playing LEGO!

43. I love how you’re always up for learning something new- whether it’s the rules of the road or roasting a chicken!

44. You love playing silly buggers with me- answering a completely innocuous question with something completely ludicrous! Like the deformed hunchback that lives in the ceiling of a house near your school?

45. You still like to go out with me- like to movies and restaurants and things like the reptile expo we went to.

46. I am immensely proud of how you handle yourself in public and when you’re around other people- you always impress and you’re always invited back.

47. You talk to me. You ask me questions and tell me things and I hope with all my heart that you’ll always feel you can do that.

48. Luckily for me you are FAR from fussy! There are very few things you won’t eat- like liver- but you’ve always been game to try something new! You love seafood! You always have- many people have gaped at you as a six or seven year old wolfing down calamari or prawns!

49. You have always loved to read and I am very proud of you for that. Harry Potter, Goosebumps books especially!

50. Your favourite cartoons are Garfield and Asterix! You can lie and chuckle at them for hours!

And now I challenge all the parents out there to make a “fifty things” list about their kidlet/s, so if you’re a mom, consider yourself tagged by my self-created meme thingy!

Oh- and if you’re reading this my Darling Damien- do leave a comment my li’l sweetie peepers (and yes, I know how you cringe when I call you that)!

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.
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11 Responses to I Think I’m Too Young For This!

  1. angel says:

    allbodies: many thanx for all the birthday wishes! he got a real kick out of all you all wishing him from all over the planet!

  2. Reluctant Nomad says:

    Happy Birthday Damien!! Your Mom has done you proud with this post even if it does make you cringe.

  3. Homo Escapeons says:

    That was so fantastic. Happy Birthday to a young man after my own heart. I have always been a total Shark Nut too. Jurrasic Park Trilogy..watched them a million times…and Spielberg wants to do another one!!!
    Lovely tribute. You have a very special bond and both of you are extremely lucky. Wow.

  4. Phats says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMIEN!!!

    Wow 16 he’s getting up there. Who doesn’t love Garfield.

    liked your list as well

  5. Eternally Curious says:

    Happy Birthday Damien!
    Hang in there Mommy Angel!
    ^_^

  6. Dawn says:

    HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMIEN! Wishing you many healthy and happy returns of the day from Dawn, DDTF and Ross. Congratulations Superhero Mom! xox

  7. Writeprocrastinator says:

    Happy Birthday D, from all of us Stateside!

  8. Dino aka Katy says:

    owwww this is to cute. I hope he reads it. Happy B-day my sister and my best friends birthday is today. I always hated that because I had to split my day between two parties and couldn’t just stay at one

  9. Peong says:

    Happy Birthday D!

    For what its worth, I’m 31 and still like LEGO.

  10. gail says:

    Happy birtday Damien .
    Angel what wonderful memories you have. Enjoy those outings with your son and long may they continue.

  11. Melany aka Supermom says:

    Happy happy happy birthday Damian.