Here’s Another Mind-Bending Sex Question Post!

It’s a question that I’ve thought about often in my life. And you know, while I’m on the subject of sex. And lust, cravings, kissing, Christianity, ooh and conflict, and blow jobs… erm… ahem, sorry- getting sidetracked yet again… thanx a LOT Sweetass!
Right. Ahem. Back to the question I was thinking about. I’ll get there- I just need to try and explain my thinking first… Oh, and Mommy darling- you may not wanna read any further, teehee.
Plain and simple- I love the physical act of having sex, of making love. I always have. Whether I’m single or in a relationship (or celibate, heh heh) I have an exceptionally healthy sex drive. And yes, given my current state of mind, maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about sex at all, but maybe if I blog about it I can get some of “it” out of my system!
Truly, I think my first sexual experiences play a large role in how much I enjoy sex, I was very lucky in that I was, uuuummmm… treated well… and I was taught an awful lot too. I think a woman’s “first time” is immensely important, even more so than a lot of people think it is. It’s not simply a case of losing something or of giving something, there’s a lot more to it. Its something a girl never ever ever forgets, and if its good- sex and love making has a whole different colour in a girl’s life! Since a lot of women I speak to regard sex as a chore and dislike it immensely, I wonder how many women are as lucky as I was. And when I think of marriage- being able to make love whenever I… I mean we… want to- is an important part of that relationship!
Now, if I’m not mistaken, there are a lot of “parts” of the sex act that many people consider “dirty” or “wrong”, and Sweetass’ post on blow jobs was what got me thinking about all this again. I know many women who will not perform fellatio, and a lot of men will not perform cunnilingus. Sex games and fetishes are frowned upon as not PC or decent, even in our modern and supposedly open minded society.
And now I finally get back to my question.
Is sex different when you’re in a Christian couple?
I s’pose in an ideal world, a couple would be virgins when they married and so wouldn’t even know about the other stuff… but what about ex-sluts like me? What if you’ve BTDT…? What is “allowed” (for lack of a better word) and what is not when you’re married and you’re both Christians, if you’re a church going, praying, Christian couple. Can you play dress up? Experiment with bondage and or fetishes? What if you like having your toes licked? If you’re madly in love and you love Christ does that mean you don’t “need” the other stuff to make sex, erm, exciting…?
Does this sound completely insane…?

12 thoughts on “Here’s Another Mind-Bending Sex Question Post!

  1. melany. that is just the point. People think it should be different and for some Christians it causes complications, but it shouldn’t.

  2. My husband and I too are Christian. Very liberal though I guess you’d say.
    The bible says, “The wedding bed is undefiled”.
    I agree with the above poster who says Christian sex is the best sex. I’m shocked to say it, being an X-slut heathen for so long and all, but it’s true. The true intimacy was really lacking in the other relationships.
    I tell my husband all my fantasies and wants, we are VERY open and playful. There is no right or wrong, good or bad if your IN love.
    I maintained celibacy once for 11 months, it was very healing and I don’t want to go there again 🙂

    I prayed for Gods choice for me in a mate and quit looking. That’s when he showed up.

  3. Christian sex is the best sex around…

    and it’s sadly true that so many of us are pretty “bunged” up about it still…

    but i think the more it’s spoken of as an ENORMOUS part of a successful marriage… the better it will be for everyone.

    My wife had to choose to stretch… it’s been well worth it!

  4. NO, it does not sound completely insane -in fact you musings make a lot of sense. It’s juts that sometimes people (especially many Christians) are not comfortable talking about this. But my dear…you are right on on your questions…those questions need answers and can be answered specifically.

    I have not read the comments you got (sorry, I am rushing… maybe I’d come back later) – I just want to say that SEX is God given and is intended for pleasure. I tremendously enjoy having sex with my husband (and yes, we’re Christians), and I’ll share more later. For now, i just want to encourage you to keep on searching, and praying and asking God’s Holy Spirit to teach you more about what God intended sex to be. I will come back with a link to some posts of mine about this 🙂

  5. katy katy katy: one would wouldn’t one…

    darla: i’m a total comment-slut so it can be as long as you’d like it to be! thank you for your fabulous input!

    phats: aaaawww, i do hope it continued to improve!??

    spear: i am VERY impressed you were virgins- especially for an ADDer!

    sweetass: i also listen to my inner voice- but you’re delusional about your crown darling 0;-P!

    fish: no such thing as an ex-slut eh…

  6. Perversion, is a biggggg word. And not to be used lightly. After all, who can realy tell what is pervers and what isnt.
    I think, that it is meaningless to think about what is the “right” way to do it. It’s just sex. Having fun, enjoying your body and the body of someone else. It’s as close as you can get to being free in this society. Or you can restrict yourself down, by thinking about what the church thinks about it. What the religion thinks about it. Who cares, It’s not like Im screwing a priest. And even if I would, why not(there is that small problem of me being hetero thou).

    Ex-slut? hahahahaha. There are no ex-sluts honey, you are who you are. And some of us love women, that know what they want.
    Now I do what I please. I ask no one for permission. My life, my body, my decisions. Everything is allowed, the sky is the limit.

  7. i’m a firm believer in my gut feel…if it feels right…then i do it…if i feel uneasy…no thanks…you must trust yourself…and obviously your partner.

    angel…sorry girl…you can’t have my crown ok!! you can be my first princess 😉

  8. When I was 19 and first year at university, my course included psychology. When we got to the deviant sexual behaviour bit, or Professor told us the following.

    “It is not uncommon in one’s first dealings with psychology, to wonder if there is wrong with you. The difference between normal and deviant behaviour is the following however: When something has a negative effect on your normal functioning and the functioning of others close to you – it becomes a problem. If I wash my hands a lot it won’t be a problem till it starts interfering with my work, my relationships etc etc. He then used the following example: Say you are living in a mixed sex student commune. You are hanging your washing and on the washing line you see a very sexy piece of underwear belonging to someone else. The tingling feeling going up your spine and the fantasy going with that is normal. Should you start stealing other people’s underwear and masturbate whilst holding it and this cause you not to be able to get aroused otherwise, and it prevent you from having a meaningful sexual relationship with another, it becomes deviant behaviour.”

    This made a very big impact on me. Thus, my view. Whatever your belief, in your heart of hearts you know what is perversions and what not. So again, if one do certain things to spice up you love life/relationship/marriage, how can it be wrong. If you expect things from your partner which they cannot bring themselves to do, find something else you’re both comfortable with. I have seen books and even magazines written by Christian authors and from a Christianity point of view, which are very frank and open. We are not beasts which only purpose for intercourse is procreation. We’re meant to enjoy as well. My motivated opinion anyway…

    My wife and I both were virgins when we got married. It has been a wonderful journey exploring sex together. We bought a good book and sex gets better and better and better. It also helped that from the start we’ve been honest and open about our likes, dislikes and what we wish.

  9. I can admit my first time was awful I was 18 and she was 17 and we did it on my parents bed and neither of us knew what we were doing haha but we did the next night and it got better and better and better.

  10. Well … how long would you like this comment to be Miss Angel?
    So, we are Christians but neither were virgins when we got married. I had a mere 7-8 partners in the few years before we hooked up and felt quite the slut at some points. I can tell you though that I’ve been addicted to sex, kissing, fondling, touching and all attached acts since my hormones were turned ON. Talk about a spiritual struggle while you’re trying to align your hormones, spirit, self and not burning in hell!
    I still remember the first time, (we’d been married about a year), that I was in a room of *ahem* Christian women and the sex topic came up. Somehow I though them discussing it was a HUGE taboo!
    My current best friend and I, also a Christian, on the other hand cast a whole new light on this topic. We do discuss it and it makes it all the more cool. Life is meant to be open and honest and talked through! That should ever change your beliefs.
    ON to the couple thing. My husband and I consider any of it fair game! (Positions, fellatio, cunnilingus … no chore here!) Our only concessions is that neither of us want to involve third parties. It’s awesome being spoiled friggin’ rotten!
    I have Christian friends that were both virgins on their wedding day and still hate sex … 3 children and 4 years later. HATES SEX!! The girl has never had the big O and is terrified of masturbating. OMG!! I feel so terrible for her! The giving and the receiving and the playing is only the half of it!
    Does that answer your thoughts??!!

  11. i can’t help you with the christian question since I am not one. But one would think that if all parties consent everything goes right

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