Yet More Sex Talk…

Heh heh…
I had such a wonderful IM chat yesterday morning with a fellow single mom who is also currently celibate by choice! Basically I repeated what I’d said in my previous blog post, and she helped me think it through and she gave me her unbiased opinion without preaching at me. You know who you are- and you’re such a honey, thank you!
Basically, the issue around my being tired of working so hard at celibacy is the fact that my physical longings currently clash with my faith and what I believe in my heart is “the right thing to do”. I am not a fabulous Christian, I don’t try hard enough. I do not read my bible and pray everyday as I know I should, and I often sleep instead of going to church- but it nags at me because I want to do better.
For a long time I did not go to church and I did as I pleased, even though I had grown up a Christian- I was enjoying myself too much and didn’t want to “give it up”. You see, in my heart and my mind, being a Christian is definitely, without a doubt, an either/ or situation. I cannot proclaim myself a believer in Christ, and have a fuckbuddy on the side. And I’m really not posting this to point a finger at anyone for anything- this is MY belief and this is how I see things.
In my mind, I could pretend to shelve my Christianity for a while and go bananas, but it wouldn’t work in my heart even if I pretended it did. And I could go bananas anyway because I know God would forgive me if and when I asked him to- He has done it so many times already… but then I would not feel right about calling myself a Christian… To me that’s not how it works. And if I did decide to go bananas anyway I would have to do it on the sly. And I haven’t even mentioned all the risks attached like pregnancy and STDs!!! Soooo, I still have a dilemma, I have not yet managed to resolve my little internal crisis. I have not done anything I will regret either… yet…
Then again, I dunno if I’d tell you all even if I did!??!

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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10 Responses to Yet More Sex Talk…

  1. Faerie says:

    LOL okay I know I am not supposed to be laughing here… BUT this is funny.
    We get ourselves into predicaments dont we?

    As for the man that one day gets me to break the celibacy chain…. Ill be grateful, because my choices to remain celibate for now are 3 fold….

    STDs and pregnancy… EWWW who the hell wants another baby at 42 … and kids… gotta set the right examples of behavior…. and then there is the whole… is anyone worth this much intimacy?… someday there will be… just not today

    hey Angel…. just think like the AA people do… “just for today” …. and “it works if you work it”

  2. Fish says:

    Uf, that’s too scary for me.

  3. Liza's Eyeview says:

    Angel, I just posted about God’s grace on my blog. God loves you no matter what. When you accept Christ as Savior and Lord, you are a Christian, and God will help you live a victorious life. Hold on to that faith Angel. I’d be back…

  4. Fish says:

    Be carefull what you wish for, you might just get it all.
    What are you doing right now? Work, at home, what?

  5. angel says:

    glugster: notes on what? how to be a basket case…?

    fish: i didn’t forget, i’m just battling a wee bit to, um… prioritise!
    where are my shoes??!?

  6. Fish says:

    Did you forget the church and all that …. in the last 5 minutes. I mean, I will either go buy a bike right now, or I’ll take a shower!

  7. Glugster says:

    Found this the other day:

    Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

    Don’t have much advice to give as I’m not a Christian. But, if your body is the temple of God, should you not look after it? If you are craving something it’s your body’s way of telling you, you need it.

    Either way. Keep up with these posts. I’m taking notes.

  8. angel says:

    fish: sadly i can’t stick around when i’m playing on my client’s server dude… and you will not have to repeat yourself.

    katy katy katy: i’m working on it darling… i’m working on it…

  9. Dino aka Katy says:

    i am sure you’ll figure it out

  10. Fish says:

    Hey you, dont leave comments, and not wait for a reply afterwards.

    Now i wont go in to this again, couse I’we been there before in your last post. But I can tell you this.
    God has nothing to do with your life. He just watches, enjoying the show. Belive me, I told that bastard, to go …. himself a million times.
    Do as you feel like. If it feels right, it is. Maybe many wont get it, but you’ll know.
    And dont make me repeat myself.