Hhmmm… Should I Or Shouldn’t I Have?

Damien started grade 10 this year, that’s the old standard 8 for us Sowff Effrikuns who are still confused by the change in labels as I am.
Now, in Sowff Effrikun schools this means the learner gets to choose a few subjects that are relevant to his chosen career- or whatever. But it’s a fairly big decision and Damien and I started discussing it early last year already. We looked at the requirements for his BSc (he wants to be a marine biologist and has for as long as I can remember) and then looked at what the school offered.
According the the Sowff Effrikun department of education, English, Afrikaans, Math and Life Orientation are compulsory subjects now, which means the learner may only select 3 subjects. They can have more if they’re prepared to work at it… now frankly, I would rather Damien could drop the L.O. and pick another subject, but these are the rules bunnies.
Damien’s choice came down to Art, Computers and Science. He cannot not do art, and the Science and Math are necessary for his BSc. And one can never go wrong with computers right? This was the discussion I remember having all through the year and this was what I filled in on the forms that went to the school.
So here’s the thing. Early this year Damien tells me (and Glugs was a witness to this exchange) that the computer classes are full and he has to take Tourism instead. I’m not terribly pleased, but I figure it’s a possibility and decide to contact the school.
Since I’m always the first to think the worst when the school calls or when Damien tells me something I try hard to believe what he tells me until I find out otherwise.
So I call the school. I am the PA secretary this year and was on the PA last year, so I know the headmaster pretty well. I ask him about the Computer classes and tell him what Damien told me. He says no, the class is actually not full enough for Damien’s grade; and that Damien has been attending the Tourism class since the beginning of the year! See, Damien still has the option to change subjects within the first few weeks of school, but I think Computers will get him further than Tourism- he can add that later when he finishes school if he wants to.
So I tell the headmaster I will talk to Damien and that he must start attending the Computer classes and not Tourism.
So Damien sends me a text to ask if I’d changed his subjects, and I tell him we’ll talk at home.
To put it shortly, I put my foot down. I am pretty “flexible” when it comes to Damien making his own decisions even if I don’t agree with them (growing his hair, piercing his ear, not tidying his room, not bathing, etc.)… but usually a mommy knows better. So I told him he will take Computers and not Tourism.
He’s not a happy camper this morning.
But I did get a goodbye, and I’m fetching him from school after work as they’re having some sports day or other today.

17 thoughts on “Hhmmm… Should I Or Shouldn’t I Have?

  1. nosjunkie: aw lee, that’s such a cool comment! I read it to Damien too, he was very chuffed!

    sweetass: that’s the end of that!

    glugster: aaah, but you’re biased aren’t you!

    goblin: oh I know he’s going to resent me long and hard, teehee

    polgara: tell me about it!!!

    bridget: and he prolly does right now… and he won’t tell me the “thing” is with tourism…

    jenty: oh thank goodness!

    meherenow: the whole seven subject thing wouldn’t bug me if all seven could be of his choosing! and more subjects would be cool but I know he won’t cope…

    sheena gates: 😉

    ruby: now thats an idea!

    dawn: we haven’t really spoken about why he lied, and he won’t tell me why he wants to take tourism instead… thanx budvo! mwa

    louisa: ta!

    y.d.g.: mwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

    david: he’s still in denial…

    faerie: oh I knew you’d feel differently girl, I was just waiting for your input… and I promise I didn’t throw anything! Love your work!!!

    katy katy katy: that’s what I thought!

  2. uh, being from texas I’m not sure I know what tourism is..
    in texas we are allowed to shoot our tourism’s..

  3. Im going against the grain here angel.
    Sad as it is, it is the time our kids make choices, and mistakes that affect them. I know you dont want to, but if you dont let him now, he will do it later with much more consequence.

    ok off my box… ducking the tomatoes.

  4. It’s a decision like any other, I suppose – we are all wise in retrospect. I do believe that your more substantial life experience makes you fully entitled to make these kinds of decisions. Are you addressing why he wasn’t honest with you – perhaps his discontent with your decision is a way to distract you from that aspect of the whole situation. I think it is clear to everyone that you are always 100% honest with him – and he should respect you by reciprocating with honesty. Getting thanks from our kids – well, that’s a whole other discussion. It’s irresponsible to leave them entirely to their own resources at this young age. I don’t feel a drastic need for thanks for being a responsible parent – but I do demand honesty. Either way, you do an awesome job -you know how much I admire you for that. xxx

  5. i think you did the right and the wise thing. Tell him that if he wants to take tourism so bad he can have it as an extra subject….he’ll change his mind pretty fast:)

  6. I definitely think you’re right – you do know best.I haven’t met an adult yet who doesn’t wish they’d done better at school and you being the BESTEST Mummy ever are just trying to help him not feel that in his 30s!

    I am stunned however at the fact he can only do 7 subjects my daughter will be choosing her GCSE subjects next year and to date she’s chosen 13!

    Damn these kids who insist on growing up and becoming more of a headache to us mummies!!

  7. Bugger … I would hate you.

    I’m sure one day I would thank you though. Just not this year.

    You see, there was a really hot chick in Tourism, and I plan to travel the world when I am 60, retired and SKI-ing (Spending The Kids Inheritance)

  8. Honestly, I would have had resentment towards my parents for a good month or so if they had forced me to take one subject over another, but, that was back then.

    Now if I look back I almost wish they had forced me to keep taking science and biology over drama and art – yeah, the girl who can’t draw a stick figure nicely took an art subject.
    So I fink you did the right thing.

  9. good for you… tough love and all that… but it’s so true, you DO know best and that’s the end of that 😉

  10. Why in hell wouldnt he want to take computers… I thought he loved the damn things….
    Look the theory sucks…I know cos Will told me so but the practical is not to bad….
    youl probably find tha there is something social about this tourism thing that he aint admitting to, but dont sweat it too muck kay angel… I am a PC idiot but luckily they really arnt so complicated… if he doesnt go for the computers he can learn all that stuff out of school I have seen it done… one of our friends works in IT and he didnt have any computer classes he was just a gamer.
    besides If you have trouble I am sure Will will help out.
    We were talking about it the other day.. Damien is like our little blog cousin… often we talk about what you have done and what he has done to you and what we think about the situation…
    Its weird but thats blogging for you

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