Before You Start Dating Again as a Single Parent

Teehee… I shoulda read this long ago eh? Then again, I wasn’t exactly planning on dating again was I… These are exerpts from an About.com newsletter I subscribe to, this one from Jennifer Wolf

 

As a single parent, thinking about dating doesn’t just affect you; it affects your whole family. Before you start dating again, take the time to prepare yourself and your kids.

Make Taking Care of Yourself a Priority

Taking care of yourself shows self-respect, and it’s also a reflection of your personal boundaries. After all, if you don’t even have time to take care of yourself at this point, how can you even think about adding another person to the mix?

 

Hhmmm… I don’t do the whole housework slash laundry slash budgeting thing very well, but I did lose weight and I started focusing a little on wearing matching clothes and make-up and such… teehee!

 

Widen Your Circle of Friends

Don’t limit yourself to seeking out “dates.” Instead, make an effort to establish deeper friendships all around. Introduce yourself and establish a friendship.

 

Mwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaa… blogging works wonders for this doesn’t it!!!

 

Get Out of the House Regularly

This sounds simple, but it’s an important aspect of readying your kids for your future social life. Go see a movie or browse in a bookstore – think of it as preparation for a lively social life.

 

Aaalrighty then, I go out a lot on my own with Damien being 16… simply because he doesn’t always wanna hang with me like he used to!

 

Be Observant

Start paying attention to the relationships around you. What do you notice? What do you respect? What qualities do you appreciate in others?

 

I have been exceptionally lucky in that my friends and most of my family have truly wonderful relationships marriage and dating wise. My parents are celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary this year, and while my li’l sister C is divorced, she’s very happy with her new beau and he loves her very much. My sister B is happily married, even if my BIL drives me a little bananas sometimes, and sadly da Bruvva is currently having a hard time… an added bonus is that my friends husbands are all fantastic fathers as well!

 

Talk With Your Kids About Dating

Spend some time talking with your kids about your desire to date. Be honest with their questions and don’t be afraid to say, “I’m not ready to answer that at this time.” Look, your kids are your family. Of course, you can’t predict the future, but you can clue them in to your intentions.

 

Here I think I can say “I did that…” I didn’t tell Damien I wanted to start dating, ‘coz I didn’t, but we have discussed it several times over the years. And as I’ve said before, I was the one with an “issue” around dating- not Damien. I have had boyfriends, and Damien adapted each time… but my issue was around his ADHD and having to explain it to a boyfriend… especially as I have a hard time dealing with it myself let alone explaining it to friends and family all the time. And it IS all the time bunnies. And of course, when I break off a relationship, Damien usually also has a lot invested in it and he gets hurt too. Mostly I put off dating and relationships because I associate them (still to a degree, sorry Glugs, I’m working on it) with hurt and disappointment. I do not have a fantastic track record…

 

So since I got this “too late”, maybe there’s someone else out there who can use a little advice BEFORE they start dating again…?

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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5 Responses to Before You Start Dating Again as a Single Parent

  1. angel says:

    nosjunkie: thanx lee, i’m still getting over the shock!

    sweetass: teehee, brilliant idea- no worries girl!

    darly: aw thanx girl, lemme know if i can help with anything!!!

    justin: really? i dunno if people who write to agony aunt’s want brutal honesty dude…

  2. justin says:

    Darly’s right …. you’d make a good agony aunt, Angel.

  3. darly says:

    I agree with nosjunkie, maybe you should have an advice column instead? Muahaha. It’s nice to know that won’t fall under ‘need help from a cheap magazine columnist’ anytime soon! You’re far too brilliant dear!

  4. sweetass RSA says:

    hmmm… are you hinting my way tjomma LOL 😉 oh dear dating… grrr… too complicated at this stage… i’m not looking for anything so when it happens i’ll deal with it…good idea eh?!

  5. Nosjunkie says:

    Angel I think at the end of the day you did tit right.
    you didnt go looking for it…
    you didn’t make a decision to start dating it happened nice and natural….