I Think Damien May Have An Unfair Advantage…


Deep breath taken.
Here’s why.

I told you all he has a new girlfriend right, Flower? Today is her birthday. He spoke on the weekend about getting her a little something for her birthday, that he had an idea already. So yesterday after school I called him to ask if he had gotten her something and to tell him that I have gift bags so he needn’t worry about wrapping it. He said no, he hadn’t. I suggested he go. He gets a little irate- just a little- so here’s the conversation that followed…

Damien (somewhat irritated): But mom, I asked her what I can get her for her birthday and she said she doesn’t want anything!

Moi (trying not to giggle): Okay, you don’t have to get her anything, I just want to let you know that she may have said that- but I can promise you she’ll be very disappointed if you go to school with nothing. Especially since you are officially a couple.

Damien (annoyed semi-silence): mm-hhmm

Moi: I dunno why sweetie, but for some insane reason, girls are raised to believe it’s polite to ALWAYS say no when they’re offered something.

Damien (still the annoyed semi-silence): mm-hhmm

Moi: So what you do is go and get her something tiny and preferably shiny or snuggly, stick it in a gift bag, and when you see her in the morning you hand it over with a smile and say you just couldn’t resist it.

Damien (still somewhat annoyed): okay…

Moi: I wish I could explain it sweetie, but that’s just how girl’s brains are programmed to work.

So when I got home he had bought a tiny faux-silver diamante “F” cellphone-bling-charm thingy. I gave him a little pink drawstring gift bag and he had drawn her a poster slash card. I didn’t say anything else, he was pleased with his purchase and I didn’t rub it in at all. When I sent himn a message at school to ask if she liked it he said “yes”. Thats it.
I think he may have an advantage… if he remembers everything… because its not the first time I’ve explained a bit to him about how women’s minds work. Like telling him how- by the end of the first date- the girl slash woman has already imagined the wedding, the children and where they’ll go to school, meeting the parents and family, where you’ll live, and what it’ll be like if slash when you divorce. Its no bloody wonder the girls get so upset when you dude’s don’t call!!!

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.
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12 Responses to I Think Damien May Have An Unfair Advantage…

  1. Writeprocrastinator says:

    You’ve just done him a huge favor and he won’t even realize it until five years from now.

  2. Melany aka Supermom says:

    Yes us women. We are not well. However, I have never dreamt up the white picket fence dream after a first date…or second…or whatever. lol Never had that dream

  3. Mel says:

    Funny creatures us. Daniel has been dumped although only found out after he (me) bought her a teddy and card for Valentine’s day. He says he doesn’t care and likes her anyway. Guys really are the simpler sex.

  4. Allan says:

    “Its no bloody wonder the girls get so upset when you dude’s don’t call!!!”

    After the third “please leave a message” we give up.

  5. Wenchy says:

    You are so right!!

  6. angel says:

    sweets, ruby & dyna: ta, i think so too…

    beads: howdy & welcome!
    so did the t-rex catch you…?

    sage: i’m sorry you disagree, but look at it this way- i didn’t tell damien it was right- i just told him jow it works…

    preposterous ponderings: mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

  7. Dyna Girl says:

    Good job, Mommy. You so know she was super stoked. He owes you. He just doesn’t know it!

  8. Preposterous Ponderings says:

    I am afraid to give away any “girl secrets” to my boys in fear that my old man will learn all of my tricks.

  9. Southern Sage says:

    that BAD advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    he should have not gotten her anything and then when she was pouty he should have said damn grl you told me not get you anything!!!!
    From that day forward she would have told him the truth!!

  10. beadinggalinMS says:

    Let me see comment first then what I dreamed last night.

    I should of reminded my oldest son all of this before he got married. heheh

    Now my dream. I dreamed a T-rex was chasing me through the streets of New York.

    oh yeah Luv your pic of you in your Valentine Hat. Very cute!! 🙂

  11. Ruby says:

    he he:) i think more guys should have a mommy to explain these things to them…then maybe, just maybe they won’t drive us absolutely insane!

  12. sweets says:

    aw shame… it’s an alien world to figure out how the opposite sex work. you did good mommy!