The Glugster and I celebrate our third monthiversary!
13 weeks exactly
To put it plainly, bunnies- it feels like three years- and it has been sheer, unequivocal, inarguable, bliss for me… truly.
In April I would have been single for seven years. That’s a lot of habits to break and changes to make… I’m working on it, slwoly. Even my weekend blogging is taking a knock- and that doesn’t really worry me like I thought it would! In fact- between leaving work last Friday and some time on Saturday night I didn’t even switch my notebook on… then I started twitching a little and realised I was jonesing…
So now, not only am I spoilt rotten and taken on dates and taken away for weekends and called every night on the phone, but the Glugster accepts me- just as I am- with my relationship and parenting paranoid neuroses, with my history, mummy-tummy, saggy boobs, kinks, stretch-marks and all.
And he accepts Damien… which has always been a major worry for me.
Not only have I always been afraid of Damien feeling like a “not ours” (as I have seen happen, sadly, too many times in the yours-mine-and-ours families), but Damien’s ADHD and the way he and I deal with it is an issue for a lot of people- which then becomes a concern for me. I have been judged so many times for “…letting Damien get away with…” whatever the issue at hand is, whilst I am simply picking my battles. I mean, the private schools, the doctors and other professionals, the cellular phone, his pigsty slash bedroom, letting him grow his hair, his oft-scruffy clothes and occasionally grubby “look“- I get told he needs discipline and I am spoiling him.
But if he is doing well at school I am happy; and if I can get hold of him at any time I am happy; what he looks like and whether or not you can see the floor in his bedroom is his own issue.
And Glugs gets it. And he doesn’t let anything faze him. He has spent enough time with us to have seen Damien on and off meds. He’s seen how Damien can be when he’s not medicated, and I think he understands why Damien needs it. And we talk about Damien’s ADHD too- which I didn’t do before. And the Glugster has seen how I am when I worry about Damien… And as much as we focus on each other, our relationship includes Damien because he and I are a family.
Honestly- I’m still pinching myself and half waiting for the other shoe to drop and burst my little pink bubble of happiness. But I’m trying.
And then there’s the other “typical” chick stuff- like when I don’t hear from him all day because he and I are both working… I have to keep telling myself he’ll call later- that he still wants me… pathetic innit?
Well I think it is- and it’s my pet hate for myself (and women in general)! But d’you think I can switch that shit off in my head!!?!?
HA! I say…
FAT FARGIN CHANCE!!!
And I admit I am still working not to think too far ahead for “us” because I do not completely believe in forever and if I don’t think too far ahead I can’t get hurt that much should things go wrong…
And then I turn to mush when the Glugster tells me I’m beautiful, and sexy. I love how he looks at me. Making love to him leaves me weak… He loves to touch me and hold me- and I him. I get a little thrill in the pit of my stomach with simple things, like when he puts his hand on my thigh while I’m watching a movie in bed and he’s reading. Its not a conscious thing either, it just happens. And we are quite happy to sit in each other’s company and play on our own laptops, not talking- just doing our own thing whilst Damien lies on the couch watching Animax or playing PS2. There are no uncomfortable silences…
It’s almost strange now to be at home- at our home- with our cats. I keep feeling like we’re “stopping in” to check on my furry masters and that we should be leaving again any moment!
So here’s wishing you a happy third monthiversary baby.
Love you madly.