All Phone Calls Are Obscene*

Yes, I know I said we’re away- but I thought I’d “pre-post” something for the weekend so you don’t get bored!

Aren’t I sweet?

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ja ja okay! I know!

Here’s the story.

Damien- I would assume like most teens- is VERY attached to his cellphone. Almost unhealthily so…. but then again- so am I, as I am to my laptop. But that’s besides the point isn’t it? I am a grown up after all.

Ahem, rambling…

The knucklehead’s phone drama started about a week ago, when he dropped it outside our front door. He had a Nokia 5200- chosen for its ability to play MP3 and the SD card slot. The knucklehead listens to music on his phone when he’s not chatting on MXit (which he’s only officially allowed to do between 7 and 9pm). So the memory card on the phone is important. Before the Nokia he had a Motorola clamshell thingy which he wasn’t mad about- but it worked. The 5200 is a slide phone and has a little keypad on the outside, and when he dropped it this came loose- but it still worked

MAJOR train smash for Damien! The world came to an end! The sky fell on his head! It took him two days to recover from his little dip into the “depression” pool.

Annoying me no end in the process because the bloody phone still worked.

On Wednesday night we popped in at my folks- primarily to download photographs off my mommy darling’s camera but also to say howdy and talk about the upcoming weekend trip (the one we’re on now). Somewhere in the course of Wednesday evening, the knucklehead sat on his phone- shattering the screen and rendering it useless.

I didn’t know this.

I was chatting to da Bruvva when the knucklehead walked into the room, so I asked him to go and make coffee. His mumbled reply and the way he slouched out of the room immediately told me something was up. When I asked him what was wrong he said “I’ll tell you later…” which led me to assume he’d butted heads with my daddy darling, as they do so regularly… or something along those lines.

When we got into the car to go home he showed me his phone- practically ramming it up my nose- and said “THIS is the problem!” Then I asked what happened and started giggling when he told me he’d squished it with his own ass… he of course got all huffy because I wasn’t taking it as seriously as he was!

I nearly gave him a fat ear and told him to shake the shit off his shoes- it was no big thing! Our phones are insured so that they can be quickly and easily replaced, in the event of a catastrophe like this one! I never have cash “just lying around” to buy new phones with, so I insure them!

On Thursday, it took just one phone call to OUTsurance with the story of what had happened. Their contractor then called me, and emailed me a list of phones I could choose from. After the knucklehead picked one last night (with my help since I’m paying for it) I emailed the contracted company back, processed the excess payment on the internet, and the new phone- a Nokia 3110 Classic with ample memory and a SD card slot- is being delivered to my office on Monday.

Fantastic. Quick and easy and hassle free.

I must be honest- this is only the second time I have had to replace the knucklehead’s phone since he got his first one about 6 years ago. He’s had one stolen and this one he’s broken. He’s really good with them and I am pleased because initially I worried about him looking after them and not losing them!

But the way he reacts to something so minor in the greater scheme of things drives me batshit! You’d swear he had to replace it with his own money!

Dang nabbit!!!!

*Karen Elizabeth Gordon

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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13 Responses to All Phone Calls Are Obscene*

  1. Donn says:

    I am deeply troubled by txt msng mainly because it is destroying the ‘inglash langwidge’ but also because of how it is compressing how we communicate.

    Another parent at the soccer game was telling me about his daughter’s method of ‘talking’ to her friends..they were waiting for her friend to be dropped off and already late so he said call her and see why she’s late..so instead of PHONING her she sends a text message?
    While they’re waiting he asks why she didn’t just PHONE her friend to which she replied

    “Oh yeah!”

  2. Faerie says:

    aww… ours are appropriately referred to as the girls babies. Yes they have names too… I dont know them. LOL

    I have 5 phones on my bill, something is ALWAYS wrong with someones… have to say, love that one he broke… its pretty! shhh dont tell him I said that.

    oh and I blogged… ha .. barely

  3. sweets says:

    LOL i’m still chuckling… oh my word nearly rammed it up your nose did he? mwhahahahahahahaha

  4. Tamara says:

    How did we ever survive before cell phones?!

  5. angel says:

    mel: it never ceases to amaze me!

    e.c.: laughter is the best medicine… mwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa- i’m quoting clichès!!!

    louisa: you!!?! noooo- never…!!!!

    dyna: i am never without it girl!

    sheebelicious: i did- and i do!!!

    nick: ah yes- notebook death by cat fluff… i felt your pain!

    allan: you had a phone in your cell?!!?! wow…

    m.i.: lololololol…

  6. Malicious Intent says:

    I am trying to figure out how to surgically implant my phone. Has to be a way.

  7. Allan says:

    I broke the phone in my cell once.

  8. Sometimes Saintly Nick says:

    I can appreciate Damien’s reaction. I had a similar one when my laptop died from being filled with Alex’s cat hairs.

  9. Sheena Gates says:

    whahaha.

    You said “fat ear”. Aheeyic.

  10. Dyna Girl says:

    geeze. I wonder if I have insurance. Lord knows there isn’t any cash laying about!

  11. Louisa says:

    Hehe…I would have been much more hysterical than Damien! People who’ve seen it up close reckon my phone has my hand imprinted on it from constant use (mostly to check email and blog feeds!).

  12. Eternally Curious says:

    LOL! Your story is Favorite Son to a T! (except he’s too young yet for a phone. doesn’t stop him from nagging me constantly about it, tho!) Anytootle, FS also gets waaaaaaaaaayyyy upset about the tiniest things. I’ve combatted the frustration by laughing at it all. Drives him battier than his obsessing drives me!

  13. Mel says:

    Sexy new phone! Isn’t it amazing how these ADD kids lose everything except that frikkin phone permanently attached to their bodies.