I think the knucklehead thought I needed some excitement… like I look bored or something.
Last night when we retired upstairs… I mean, when we went to bed last night… I found a folded note next to my bed.
It started with the word “Mom”, which was crossed out several times.
The paragraph which followed- sans punctuation, as usual with Damien– said that he’d changed his mind and had decided not to go back to school next year, that he would find a job, buy his own groceries, his own toiletries and so on.
Now I must just tell you that when I fetched the knucklehead from my dad’s place- where he now goes every day after school- I could tell when he walked out the door that he was in a completely foul temper.
With no preamble, I asked if he’d fought with my daddy darling*, but he said no, and that he didn’t want to talk about it. I asked if he was sure, and he said yes. Then I took a chance and asked if he’d fought with one of his teachers or something, and he said no again, that it was the kids at school. Then reiterated that he didn’t want to talk about it.
I think I’ve mentioned before that he and I have an agreement that if one of us is grumpy or PMS-ing we are allowed to say we don’t want to talk, anyone remember that? Well yesterday was one of those days.
Finding the note took all the wind out of my sails, to say the very least.
I mulled it over and thought about it trying to think of an angle I could use to tackle this. I did nothing about it last night, deciding to wait till this evening after work.
When the knucklehead got in the car he was very chatty, and that’s Damien for “I know something’s up and I am trying to think of a way to ask you about it”. He was talking about how there’s a “Rudy’s Tattoos” in Centurion and maybe he could get work as an apprentice there, but didn’t know how he’d get there every day. You know, sorta skirting the subject…
When he turned the radio down I knew he’d decided to broach it. He asked if I’d received his note. I said yes, but that I’d rather wait till we got home to discuss it. He just said okay and left it there.
When we got home, we racked up the pool balls and we played a game of pool while we spoke. I only just beat him, but that’s beside the point.
I reminded him that going back and trying to finish was his decision, and that he couldn’t change his mind because he’s had a shitty couple of days.
I also told him that I didn’t appreciate the note, even if it is a form of communication… He knows he can talk to me about anything. And he knows that talking about it would have been kak, but necessary. So we spoke about his decision, and I reminded him that without at LEAST a grade 10 certificate, he’d battle to find even the most basic of employment- especially as a white guy in South Africa.
So the bottom line is, he is going back. He is going to get at least his grade 10 and maybe even finish if he really pulls finger.
I am, however, considering sending him to college to complete his high school diploma and then study further. A lot of ADHDers find the different world of the college to be a good thing and thrive. So I’m mulling it over. I haven’t mentioned it to the knucklehead as an option yet though…
That’s where we’re at now.
*which is never a good thing as they’re both over sensitive and they both have shoert tempers and they both sulk