I Can’t Fargin Win!

The knucklehead’s second test came back negative. I was suprised, but his doctor said its possible if he hasn’t smoked at all since his first test. And I’m pretty sure its his sample and not someone elses… and we’ll still be testing for a few weeks, and then random testing after that. He’s a little upset right now because his best friend J has been having a hard time as well- and the two of them seem to balance each other out a bit. He’s also miffed because I wouldn’t let him make plans to go on a date last Saturday with his new girlfriend. He is suspended from school- but expected me to let him go on a date because he’s been good since he got busted. And he “asked” me three times if he could go, as in “…but why can’t I go!!?!” with all the appropriate whining…
Oh, wait- sorry- whining is appropriate if you’re 5 years old…

And now with the THC out of his system he has no excuse to be a son-of-a-bitch.
But thats not happening.

One time this weekend I was looking at him and he said “WHAT!” and I answered with “I love you!” He spat it back at me like a pissed off feral cat, so I asked- in a perfectly civil and light tone of voice- if it would kill him to at least be nice to me. He retorted with “would it kill you to let me go on my date?!
I nearly replied, but I simply walked back upstairs and left it hanging there like a guillotine blade.
He has been working pretty hard to stay in mine and Glugster’s good books too. Packing the dishwasher without being asked to do so. Emptying the dustbin and replacing the bag without being nagged. Actually trying to catch up on his school work. He’s behaved himself for my folks as well.
But when it comes to him and I- he cannot even be a little curteous. I get growled at when I wake him up, and this morning was a prime example. I had to go and call him three times with him grunting and asking to stay home because he been “…clean for so long“!
Yeah right. Its been a week.
He slammed his door.
He barely managed to say goodbye to me when I dropped him off, already having vipped* when I told him earlier to turn his iPOD down because I could hear it even over the car radio. He tells me- not asks me, TELLS me- to turn the radio down. I said no, it wasn’t even turned up! But get this- da Bruvva opened the gate for him when I dropped him off and he was all smiles!
Have you ever wanted to tell your own child to fuck right off!?!??!?
I couldn’t believe it!
I mean, I know he manages to be civil to most people because he has friends, and most people like having him around- so why the fuck can he not manage to even pretend to like me!??!

I’m not going to speak to him again. Not till I think he can be polite. I’m not expecting too much, and I’m not getting it.
I know it sounds childish and petty, but I am tired of trying to be polite and civil and make conversation and getting fuck all in return unless he wants something.

*an indescribable but very appropriate afrikaans word…

15 thoughts on “I Can’t Fargin Win!

  1. It’s crazy how fast your knucklehead has grown up! Even my first post read. Wow, with every mom story I think ‘I get to grow through that! someday’ … to be able to get the good and the bad and that you still would consider throwing yourself in front of a bus to save them.
    I’m actually very impressed that you admit you want to tell him to fuck right off! Three cheers for Angel’s spine of steel! Hopefully down the road he can appreciate what you do for him!

  2. I say you should vip your gat right back at him. Tee hee. By ignoring him, obviously.

    Love you. Can’t wait to see all three of you again soon.


  3. You are his mother! Therefore he can be less than polite!

    Its one of those crap things about being a parent!

    But yes I have wanted to tell my kids to fuck right off sometimes!

    It happens! We move on and smile and wave!

  4. He’s just taking out his moods on the person closest to him. The person who HAS to love him. I’m not saying that it’s right or that you should put up with it, I’m just saying that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you!

  5. Agreeing with Malicious here, we are our very worst to the ones we love the most because we can, we know their love is unconditional.
    At the same time, it is YOUR house so he needs to respect your space.
    Take it to God Angel, let Him carry this for you. Sometimes He waits till we hit rock bottom and then we seek Him out.
    Any chance he can stay with your mom or bro for a while and let you regroup?

  6. Now we all know our kids get along well with everyone else. But the number one rule with teenagers of any sort is that MOM is the enemy and therefore gets all the crap. That is rule #1 in the book. Unfortunately he is not going to appreciate all of your efforts till he is a bit older and has been tossed around by society because he wouldn’t listen to you in the first place.

    Nothing harder than having to stand back and watch them screw up and knowing the consequences of their actions. But sometimes, that is all we can do.

  7. Jeepers, teenagers are mean:( I’m sorry, I hope he starts to be a little more polite soon, I’m sure he will though – you’re his mom.

  8. I think the silent treatment is appropriate here. Go with your gut. Dont engage in conversation with him until he shows you the respect you bloody well deserve. Sorry man.

  9. Man this sounds hard. I am not ready for those teenage years yet! I don’t know how you do it, but you seem to be doing it pretty well. I applaud you. Really!

  10. It might be childish but they are childrens 😉 and from experience I have discovered that giving T the silent treatment once in a while does work.He hates it and it makes them think about what they did to upset you. I wish you luck my friend! Hang in there you doing great!!!

  11. Aww, it sounds like such a frustrating situation, am thinking of you. But, I’m glad to hear he’s clean at the moment … and that is a very cool photo 🙂

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