Three Steps

At Linda’s ADDIVA, you’ll see her “Three Big Steps” of living with and loving ADHD:

Step 1 is Nuts and Bolts. The “Omigosh I have ADD” stage which usually involves a flurry of activity (hyperfocus anyone?) This is the ‘now that we’ve figured it out, let’s fix it” phase that can include diagnosis, medication, coaching, organizing, and structure and lots more.

Step 2 is Living with ADD. The the ‘Hey, I’ve tried everything and I still have ADD!” stage that can be alternately disheartening and enlightening. Here’s where you have a chance to put your arm around your ADHD and make it your friend.

Step 3 she calls Digging deeper. The “Who Am I and What Are My Dreams” stage that unlocks your passion and purpose. It’s my belief that those with ADD have so much unrealized potential inside themselves that when released, could change the world. Absolutely. Positively.

I think Damien and I are currently between step 1 and step 2… Even after all this time. As much as I long to get to step 3, I think I’ll get there a long time before Damien does. I know what my knucklehead is capable of, and his skills suprise me on a regular basis. I know what he can do. ADHDers are the geniuses of this world. The out-of-the-box thinkers. The adventurers. The creators. The risk-takers.

As much as he loves to profess his liking of being the rebel and the odd one out and the weirdo, I think his acceptance of his own condition is a long way away still. He knows he has ADHD, but he leaves the management of his disorder to me. His complete disregard for consequences is something he can’t really help- but it’ll get easier for him as he gets older. It drives me mad, but it’ll get easier. I know also that he is going to go through a phase where he decides he’s an adult and no longer needs medication or my guidance, and- honestly- thinking about that day fills me with dread because I know what could happen… But I’m hoping that with talking to him he may not go through it for too long, if at all. I also know he’s going to go through stages where he’s okay with his ADHD and stages where he isn’t, like any person does who has a condition that they have to deal with forever.

I hope, for my knucklehead’s sake, that he can see himself for what he is and what he’s capable of- sooner rather than later.

8 thoughts on “Three Steps

  1. Damien seems to be a good kid, angel and you are good mom. I'm sure the two of you will get through this together and that he will look to you for guidance and help. He might rebel, but he knows you will be there to catch him if he falls.

    <3

  2. momcat: that is so great for you all!

    Scott: It was very cool to meet you too!

    Spear: you are so right…

    Elise: heh heh, I can imagine!

    20somethinginsight: hello new visitor, and thank you!

  3. YES this is so true! I just blogged about the same thing (kinda, it was more self-centered though). I’m glad someone else understands that ADD causes anxiety about how you’re gonna change the world (b/c we will. obviously)

  4. You’re right when you say people with ADHD are geniuses. I spent a day with a kid with the condition. His train of thought was amazing. As much as I was enlightened by the experience I was knackered afterwards. You’re an excellent mother, Angel. xx

  5. The funny thing is, that one can take a step back as well. I’ve been at 3 for very long. Now it feels as if I am back at step 2 again.

  6. Hey- he seems like a good kid- hope you manage to get to a solution.
    It was great meeting with you, Wenchy and your families in December.

  7. Thanks for the steps 1 to 3 which are so true. But although the ADD is maddening while you are trying you get your kids through school, kids with this disorder are never boring and always have a lot of ideas. My 18 yo I feel has come to terms with his disorder and has embraced his leadership qualities.

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