An Odd Aspect Of TTC…

And one that never occurred to me till recently.

Being terrified of falling pregnant because you wouldn’t know how to tell people!

You don’t want to hear “I told you so!” from anyone… nor do you want to have to tell other friends who are trying to get preggers because you know that no matter how happy they are for you, they’ll hate you and your happiness for a while.


As for us.

Right now.

We’re okay.

I still get heartsore when I see baby bumps, and read friends news about their pregnancies… but I’ll get over it.

Currently though, we have lots of friends- and friends of friends- (who do not read my blog) who are finding out about our engagement and us planning our wedding.

Their first question after congratulating us and asking when we’re getting married is whether or not we’re going to have children of our own!!?!!


I’m having a bit of a hard time not losing my temper with these people! Is that the only reason people get married? I don’t fargin think so!!! It’s so annoying!


So instead of smacking people, I’m back to being nonchalant.

I’m back to telling people we’re not interested at all.

I’m back to making like we’re completely self-absorbed and only interested in living our lives the way we want to.

I’m back to saying that since my knucklehead is waaaay over 18 years old, there’s no way I’d even consider having another baby and starting all the feeding-nappies-no-sleep drama from the beginning.


…come play on my rollercoaster…

17 thoughts on “An Odd Aspect Of TTC…

  1. (I’m doing my usual better-late-than-never catch-up commenting thing here…!)
    Echoing what everyone else has said, including you, just ignore what other people say. It never stops. When we’re at school it’s, “What are you going to study?”. Then it’s, “When are you getting married?” Then it’s, “When are you having children?” etc etc.
    Their rules, not yours.
    You make your own rules and live by your own plan. If I know anything about you, you’re not there to conform to what other people think you should do so why should this be any different? I’m sure the only reason it bugs you is because it hurts… so {{hugs}}… and stuff ’em!
    .-= Terri´s last blog ..normality begins =-.

  2. Sometimes people just don’t think. I also went thru the whole question thing about when etc. It broke my heart cause we tried for 8 months, did fertility etc. Eventually I fell pregnant and I had my baby in January and I’m pregnant again ( that means two in one year). Now, I get asked are you carrying twins or why are you so huge…………….I now choose to ignore people that are so insensitive and have no friggin clue.
    .-= Fairy Girl´s last blog ..Gestation Hypertension =-.

  3. I’m quite big on the whole not not saying anything if you don’t have anything sensible/useful/helpful to say thing. But in this instance, especially standing where I’m standing, it’s really hard not to say anything at all.
    I’m sorry you’re sore and wish I could somehow make it better.
    .-= MeeA´s last blog ..Lone(ly) Wolf =-.

  4. Strangely enough that’s not an uncommon question. I got it ALL the time after we got married at which point I had no interest in having children. What is it with people?

    I guess it’s just the natural progression of things, or the way things are expected to happen.

    These people don’t know you very well, do they? They should know that you do things backwards! 🙂
    .-= acidicice´s last blog ..Proper scan post =-.

  5. Yup, been here and have the t-shirt. We were married just shy of 10yrs b4 our first came along. WE battled infertility too.

    In the end when people asked you know what I said? MY SEX LIFE IS GREAT! HOW ABOUT YOURS?

    It either made them laugh or cringe. Either way it shut them up and gave a clear message that I wasnt up for talking about it.

    I did what you are planning to do…I denied that I wanted kids, was nonchalant etc. But you know what? It wasnt me. I am pretty transparent and so are you – play it by ear and see how it goes!

    .-= Melody´s last blog ..Eye on the Ball =-.

  6. Oh Angel, I really feel for you on this one. For 5 freakin’ years, while we were battling infertility we had people asking us, “So when’s the next one?” It drove me insane…People can be so rude and extremely insensitive. Somehow they assume that because you could produce one child, you will automatically be able to produce more and they feel they have the right to question you about it! Aaaaargh!!
    .-= Gill´s last blog ..Different strokes for different folks =-.

  7. We get asked almost daily, “so when is the next one coming”. Well *$%#@! It is not like we are not trying. It is such a sensitive point, but people just don’t get it. It’s not like I want to stand on a chair and announce the fact the we are trying our hearts out every month, just to be dissappointed EVERY month. I can just imagine how hard this must be for you. Strongs.

  8. Like Bridgette said I really hope no one would say I told you so. How horrible would that be. Like all the stress and heartache was for nothing as they knew all all along and you just did not trust them enough for some crap like that.

    I can imagine every time someone asks who does not know the journey it must open the wound a little bit. ((hugs))

  9. You know what – to hell with what everybody else will think or say or feel. If you do get pregnant – FEKKING HOOOOOOOOOORAY!!! YEEEHAA!! and backflips and somersaults and ALL that!!! I will be so thrilled, I will probably have a heart attack or pee my pants or something. Who cares about other peoples dam opinions? And if there are those obtuse types out there who would rather say “I told you so” instead of being ecstatically happy for you, then they shouldn’t even be reading this blog. It’s such a typical thing for people ask “are you going to have you own children” I was asked that a lot too. I still get asked that question. Think up a ridiculously WILD answer to that one to give to the person asking that will shut them up for good. Like: “No, we were thinking of rather trying to get one of cloned so we can live forever. have you heard of the wonderful new experiments they do with human clones? It’s SO exciting!” And then smile and walk away or change the topic abruptly. “Well enough about me, how the hell are you?”
    Personally I will not stop hoping, believing and praying for a little wee one, and I promise not to rub your nose in it if it does happen!
    .-= Brigitte´s last blog ..GETTING TO KNOW ME… =-.

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