So Much Of Excitement!!!

5-rings-of-nervous-tension

I so badly want to tell people because I am so excited about the possibilities- but my boss and my colleagues read my blog so I can’t be too “open” about what’s going on of late for fear of jeopardising my job.

Not that my boss would or could fire me for talking about looking at other options- but you know what I’m getting at.

 

My darling Glugster and I have been chatting for some time about me stopping working, and taking on some of his projects as well as starting some of my own. Wedding and event planning, baking, make-up… there’s lots I can do for some income, but nothing will be anywhere near my current income. Not for a long long time!

And to be completely honest, it all scares the bejeebers out of me! I cannot tell you how much.

I do know there are several people out there who will understand where I’m coming from though… 😉

The thing is, I have always been financially responsible for myself and my knucklehead. Car, rent, medical aid, groceries, insurance… I paid it all myself. I still pay most of it myself but I don’t have rent or school fees and such anymore- which has allowed me to get out of debt and actually start saving a wee bit. See I never had maintenance of any kind from his father because that was what we agreed on when we split… and leaving my job would mean handing all my financial responsibilities over to my sweetheart. For a looong time. And of course, if I do pack it in now to take on an adventure- I won’t be able to buy myself a new car either…

And my sweet Glugs is not unreasonable or delusional. He is prepared to “carry” me until I can start earning a bit of an income, but he is not prepared to do so indefinately.

 

Oy.

 

Anyhoodle.

 

The thing is you see, whilst I like what I’m doing and I like the continuous learning that my big boss makes possible… most of my clients and one or two of my colleagues drive me totally bananas! I have one boss who is exceptionally negative and critical ALL the time, and I don’t like the fact that I am happier when he’s not in the office. It smacks of my previous job- and a similar situation was one of the reasons I left. And it’s not just me who feels this way about him. It makes our work environment a shitty one, and it never used to be this way. Being a consulting firm, we tend to end up all sitting in the same space wherever our clients’ decide they can fit us in, so its not like he has his own office or anything either.

As for my clients… their sheer idiocy makes me see red with anger more often than not, and that’s so not right! Just seeing one of them walk into the office we all share infuriates me almost instantly.

I don’t like that.

And of late I seem to have developed an aversion to new work!

I am quite happy to maintain stored procedures and Crystal reports, give support where necessary, and QA my colleagues work (because I’m very particular *coff* anal *coff* about things like spacing and uniformity, they’ve made QA a part of my job), but I don’t want to take on new projects anymore!

At all!

If I could, I would simply refuse!

And then my poor sweet Glugster gets it in the ear when I get home and bitch about my day or complain about my boss.

 

Of course, it’s no secret to anyone that I love wedding planning, and have been doing it on a small scale for a long time. Its also no secret that I want to make a career out of it one day, so with a little coaxing from my Glugster, I started looking into it in a little more depth.

There is a market for it, but it’s a tough one to get into.

To try and get a foot in the door I emailed a whole bunch of the big wedding venues and asked if they would be amenable to some kind of coordinator apprenticeship so that I can learn the ropes. One replied and asked for a CV, which I duly emailed, and the other phoned me back. The dude who called me was particularly negative about how limited the industry is and how few people succeed at it unless they are affiliated to a big company and how there’s no money in weddings. He then took my irritation at his talking for such a long time as disappointment that he had “burst my bubble”, as he put it. The other place has yet to get back to me 🙁

I still want to do it though.

There are a few business possibilities I want to look into as well, but I just don’t get around to it!

I also want to delve deeper into advocating for ADHDers and their parents (not a legal advocate, but advocate in the support/ activist sense of the word). There isn’t really anything like it in South Africa as far as I can tell. And whilst there are tons of websites and ADHASA does a lot in terms of conducting studies, running support groups and creating awareness; schools, shrinks and doctors have no-one specific to refer parents to when they are dealing with a new diagnosis or with drama at school. If I have the time to do so, I would like to provide a more personal level of support for ADHDer parents (kinda like I do now with several families via email and over the phone) and perhaps even affiliate myself with ADHASA somehow. I want to help those parents who need someone to tell their woes to, who will understand where they’re coming from. I want to help parents prepare for teacher parent meetings and such and give them a little information for when they see their doctors and specialists- especially since doctors don’t tell you enough.

 

And I have signed up for a wedding planning course that will take place once a week for four months as of next year March, and I can’t wait! It covers all aspects of planning a wedding and then some! It’s going to be so cool!

 

I just know, over all, that I would be happier if I weren’t here.

I have reached a point in my life which I always thought would start including things like studying further and perhaps starting my own business- because Damien was getting finished with school. I put everything off so that I could focus on raising him, and now I don’t want to put it off anymore.

Lawd that sounds so selfish… :/

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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24 Responses to So Much Of Excitement!!!

  1. Terri says:

    It’s not a case of being selfish, it’s a case of fulfilling your needs and your dreams. Isn’t that what we’re here to do? It is scary, giving up a job to step out on your own – I’ve just done it myself! Thing is, if the laws of the Universe are to be believed, then if you’re doing something you love, you’ll be doing it well, and once you’re happy then the money will automatically follow. So if you have the opportunity to do it – i.e. someone who will support you while you get off the ground – then just bite the bullet, believe in yourself and go for it!
    .-= Terri´s last blog ..normality begins =-.

  2. Dawn says:

    I think you always know when the time is right -your instincts tell you … and you know what I live by … if not now, when?
    Go for it – good luck – there is no reason for you not to succeed. It’s your nature to succeed. Just compare where you are now to where you were as recently as two or three years ago. You know you can do this. There’s nothing selfish about any of it. xxx
    .-= Dawn´s last blog ..ANNIVERSARY … =-.

  3. Ruby says:

    It is awesome love and not selfish at all! it is so exciting:) Also, i’m thinking, by the time i eventually get married *giggle* you can co-ordinate any time:)
    .-= Ruby´s last blog ..Dear Lallie =-.

  4. Mel says:

    Its your time, you know what you have to do. Time to ditch your job and spread your very creative and capable wings. I am excited for you and this new season of growth and possibilities. I am friends with Aleit who is very successful in Cape Town and Germany now too. You actually need to move to Cape Town and hook up with some of the wine farms here. I would be happy to introduce you to Aleit.
    PS, I would so buy your cupcakes!
    .-= Mel´s last blog ..Trying to be Yoga Barbie =-.

  5. This is all very exciting Angel! I say go for it!!! You definitely deserve to do what you want to do now, and i am a strong believer that we will always do well at something we are passionate about. Good luck!
    .-= AngelinAfrica´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Dad! =-.

  6. Tay says:

    Go for it otherwise you will wake up one day with regrets!! Good luck!!!
    .-= Tay´s last blog ..Off to Cape Town I Go =-.

  7. Tamara says:

    I think it’s great that you’re allowing yourself to explore the options. I can’t wait to do what I love doing fulltime (I’m halfway there and it hasn’t been nearly as hard as I expected). Maybe there’s a way to ease into it. For example, I took a half-day job that lets me freelance in the afternoons and build up my client base. Perhaps you could find a job that only requires you to work certain days of the week, which will give you some financial stability but also give you time to do the things you want to? I have a friend who worked in the wedding planning industry. I’ll email her and find out if she has any advice. Nice to have big dreams, hey?
    .-= Tamara´s last blog ..Happiness and =-.

  8. Boobah's Mom says:

    I agree with Laura, you have an amazing connection with a whole range of people out there. Even me, although we’ve never met yet – and I’m sad that I couldn’t make it to Fahrenheit on Saturday…

    But, when the time comes, hopefully soon, hopefully next year, and I’ve been thinking of asking you since I found out you plan weddings also, that as soon as The Dad proposes to me one day, if you would help me plan my wedding.
    .-= Boobah’s Mom´s last blog ..boobahsmom: what does the beach at Uvongo look like these days? You know, after the floods and storms from last year? Any pics would be cool to see….. =-.

  9. Angel says:

    Aaaw thank you allbunnies, you’re all so sweet and supportive!
    .-= Angel´s last blog ..My Knucklehead Loves Me! =-.

  10. Laura says:

    Go for it Angel! You have the support, the will and the determination!

    Wedding planning is what I wanted to do when I finished studying and it was a hard field then BUT its not actually that hard to get into – you have an amazing network of people thro your online presence and that is all you need 🙂
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Thoughts in Facebook Stickers =-.

  11. Bobbi Janay says:

    Good Luck, do what you have to do to make your dreams come true.
    .-= Bobbi Janay´s last blog ..Blank Wall’s =-.

  12. Nats says:

    How exciting! Good Luck!!!!
    .-= Nats´s last blog ..To Melvyn… =-.

  13. Gina says:

    You dont sound selfish at all!
    I left my last job without having anuthing lined up because I just couldnt take it anymore, Paul was getting at home from me and my family were begining to get gatvol of me.
    Luckily I found a job really quickly.
    You sound as if you know exactly what you need to do. And what you need to do are things that you love. Having said that you are already half way there!
    Good luck hun!
    .-= Gina´s last blog ..Blogging Chicks Unite! =-.

  14. Louisa says:

    You know what Angel…if you have a dream then I say GO for it. We spend way too much time at work to be miserable there in my opinion. Money isn’t everything either. When you hate what you do, you wake up negative every morning and poison yourself from within, eventually your health gets affected by it. Meh…I don’t know how big the market is for wedding planning, especially in the economic climate we have – but the wedding industry in SA is one of those geese that lays golden eggs and repeat business if you’re good at what you do and you can get a foot in the door.
    .-= Louisa´s last blog ..Week 29 : She’s a Butternut Squash! =-.

  15. Melany says:

    I don’t think you are selfish at all. I don’t see why you should be unhappy at work. I really do hope that you will be able to get out of the enviroment that you are in.

  16. MeeA says:

    Not selfish at all. I felt very much the same about my last (permanent) job and was actually kind of relieved at being retrenched, even though the financial implications have been almost devastating. It has given me a great deal of freedom in terms of deciding where I am going next, career-wise.
    I say go for it and don’t look back! Everyone who has their own, successful business today had to make that leap at some point – and you’re fortunate to have the safety net afforded you by a very generous and caring partner. There can’t be a better time!
    .-= MeeA´s last blog ..I’m Really Looking Forward To…… =-.

  17. sleepyjane says:

    That really IS very exciting Angel! I can understand the fears and things you mentioned but mostly, I love that you’re starting to make the changes in order to be happier with where you are in life.

    I think that you’d excel at anything you put your mind to. 🙂 And you’re very, very lucky to have someone as supportive as Glugster. But you knew that didn’t you? 😉
    .-= sleepyjane´s last blog ..Blogger meet-up and other things =-.

  18. Jeanette says:

    It’s time for you now! I quite understand the hesitancy though… I feel exactly the same way about my photography. I would hate to lose my money independance, even for a few months!
    I know you’ll make it though… you’re so very determined 🙂
    .-= Jeanette´s last blog ..Roar like a lion =-.

  19. acidicice says:

    That certainly is *very* exciting! I say go for it, follow your dream. I would if I *had* one and had the means to do so.

    I can relate to how you feel at work. Story of my life! Get out while you can!

    All the best. I just KNOW you’ll make a success of it!
    .-= acidicice´s last blog ..My kingdom for a shower =-.

  20. goooooooooood luck lady. how awesome.
    .-= The Jackson Files´s last blog ..Missing =-.

  21. Wenchy says:

    Is YOUR time baby. 🙂

  22. Briget says:

    Wow… I can feel your anxious anticipation all the way from over here!!
    You have already decided by the looks of things (I think you have made the right choice BTW) Now its about making it happen with as little ACTUAL impact as possible which you are also doing.. fabulous!!

    Look forward to hearing more of your adventures as they unfold on your journey to job satisfaction and personal fulfillment!!

    Hugs, Cuddles, Tickles…
    .-= Briget´s last blog ..Maandag Mayhem.. =-.

  23. Julia says:

    ooooh…I can hear your excitement when I read this post. And it is not selfish at all. You have worked really hard at raising an ADHDer who is now nearly self sufficient. You have always put everything off for him because you needed to do that. You are moving into a different phase into your life and there is bound to be some form of transition and growth.
    Now it’s your turn to do something for YOU.
    I say go for it. Life is too short to be working in a job that no longer “does it” (for lack of a better phrase) for you. I wish you all of the best…xxx

  24. zola237 says:

    I know exactly where you come from and I say, do it. Do the wedding planning business, do the advocate thing for ADHer’s, I surely know that I will appreciate it when you go route number two 🙂
    But yes, be selfish and do the stuff YOU want to do, like you say, Damien is know finished with school so you can definitely do stuff YOU want to do
    .-= zola237´s last blog ..Protected: People do not understand =-.