I so badly want to tell people because I am so excited about the possibilities- but my boss and my colleagues read my blog so I can’t be too “open” about what’s going on of late for fear of jeopardising my job.
Not that my boss would or could fire me for talking about looking at other options- but you know what I’m getting at.
My darling Glugster and I have been chatting for some time about me stopping working, and taking on some of his projects as well as starting some of my own. Wedding and event planning, baking, make-up… there’s lots I can do for some income, but nothing will be anywhere near my current income. Not for a long long time!
And to be completely honest, it all scares the bejeebers out of me! I cannot tell you how much.
I do know there are several people out there who will understand where I’m coming from though… 😉
The thing is, I have always been financially responsible for myself and my knucklehead. Car, rent, medical aid, groceries, insurance… I paid it all myself. I still pay most of it myself but I don’t have rent or school fees and such anymore- which has allowed me to get out of debt and actually start saving a wee bit. See I never had maintenance of any kind from his father because that was what we agreed on when we split… and leaving my job would mean handing all my financial responsibilities over to my sweetheart. For a looong time. And of course, if I do pack it in now to take on an adventure- I won’t be able to buy myself a new car either…
And my sweet Glugs is not unreasonable or delusional. He is prepared to “carry” me until I can start earning a bit of an income, but he is not prepared to do so indefinately.
The thing is you see, whilst I like what I’m doing and I like the continuous learning that my big boss makes possible… most of my clients and one or two of my colleagues drive me totally bananas! I have one boss who is exceptionally negative and critical ALL the time, and I don’t like the fact that I am happier when he’s not in the office. It smacks of my previous job- and a similar situation was one of the reasons I left. And it’s not just me who feels this way about him. It makes our work environment a shitty one, and it never used to be this way. Being a consulting firm, we tend to end up all sitting in the same space wherever our clients’ decide they can fit us in, so its not like he has his own office or anything either.
As for my clients… their sheer idiocy makes me see red with anger more often than not, and that’s so not right! Just seeing one of them walk into the office we all share infuriates me almost instantly.
I don’t like that.
And of late I seem to have developed an aversion to new work!
I am quite happy to maintain stored procedures and Crystal reports, give support where necessary, and QA my colleagues work (because I’m very particular *coff* anal *coff* about things like spacing and uniformity, they’ve made QA a part of my job), but I don’t want to take on new projects anymore!
If I could, I would simply refuse!
And then my poor sweet Glugster gets it in the ear when I get home and bitch about my day or complain about my boss.
Of course, it’s no secret to anyone that I love wedding planning, and have been doing it on a small scale for a long time. Its also no secret that I want to make a career out of it one day, so with a little coaxing from my Glugster, I started looking into it in a little more depth.
There is a market for it, but it’s a tough one to get into.
To try and get a foot in the door I emailed a whole bunch of the big wedding venues and asked if they would be amenable to some kind of coordinator apprenticeship so that I can learn the ropes. One replied and asked for a CV, which I duly emailed, and the other phoned me back. The dude who called me was particularly negative about how limited the industry is and how few people succeed at it unless they are affiliated to a big company and how there’s no money in weddings. He then took my irritation at his talking for such a long time as disappointment that he had “burst my bubble”, as he put it. The other place has yet to get back to me 🙁
I still want to do it though.
There are a few business possibilities I want to look into as well, but I just don’t get around to it!
I also want to delve deeper into advocating for ADHDers and their parents (not a legal advocate, but advocate in the support/ activist sense of the word). There isn’t really anything like it in South Africa as far as I can tell. And whilst there are tons of websites and ADHASA does a lot in terms of conducting studies, running support groups and creating awareness; schools, shrinks and doctors have no-one specific to refer parents to when they are dealing with a new diagnosis or with drama at school. If I have the time to do so, I would like to provide a more personal level of support for ADHDer parents (kinda like I do now with several families via email and over the phone) and perhaps even affiliate myself with ADHASA somehow. I want to help those parents who need someone to tell their woes to, who will understand where they’re coming from. I want to help parents prepare for teacher parent meetings and such and give them a little information for when they see their doctors and specialists- especially since doctors don’t tell you enough.
And I have signed up for a wedding planning course that will take place once a week for four months as of next year March, and I can’t wait! It covers all aspects of planning a wedding and then some! It’s going to be so cool!
I just know, over all, that I would be happier if I weren’t here.
I have reached a point in my life which I always thought would start including things like studying further and perhaps starting my own business- because Damien was getting finished with school. I put everything off so that I could focus on raising him, and now I don’t want to put it off anymore.
Lawd that sounds so selfish… :/