I Miss My BBF…

I miss her something awful.

This is a pity-party-post and I’m probably PMSing, but I am curious too.

You see, its kak not having my best friend around the corner to pop in for coffee.

Its kak not having her need me to have coffee with her coz she needs some time for just her.

Its kak not being able to help with the boys’  birthday cakes- not that she ever needed help in the kitchen mind you 🙂

Its kak not having her close enough to meet when I need to talk about something. Anything. Nothing.

Its kak not having her near me. Its kak not having my best friend here.

We talk on the phone most Sundays, and I love speaking to her, but its not the same. I miss long nights with too much wine. I miss our history. I miss singing ABBA duets at karaoke nights because we both love it. I miss the two of us going gallivanting together and leaving our boys with her hubby!

I read blog posts where people I know talk about how their best friends have helped them through some or other crappy or stressful situation… and  a part of me sulks because I don’t get asked for help, and another part of me is heart sore that I don’t have someone to ask.


How do you reach that point with someone new? When your bestest best friend of twenty odd years has moved far far away to make a better life for herself and her family, how do you make someone new your best-friend-to-have-coffee-with? How do you get to the point where you can start building a history with someone else, without feeling like you’re betraying your BBF? I mean, Gen (aka NMOTB) will always be my BBF, my BBBBFF. History like ours is rare and no-one will ever replace her… but how do you make someone new your go-to-girl when you haven’t grown into it like she and I did over 28 years? Is there a formal discussion, some kind of verbal agreement? After all, when you start dating a guy you eventually have to have the discussion that you are going to be exclusive, is it the same with a girl friend?

*I’m probably using this wrong 😛

19 thoughts on “I Miss My BBF…

  1. AG (((((hugs))))) i’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Wow, that’s a very long time….28 years. So I assume you were at Jason’s funeral? Must have seen you there

    I don’t have an answer for you. Just lots of hugs
    .-= Melany´s last blog ..Too much- too young =-.

  2. Ai girl, it’s so sad. I have two BFF – one moved to Canada 5years ago – I miss her almost daily. My other one has just told me that they are moving to Australia next year – I am so lost. I need to blog about his. When I can
    .-= cat@juggling act´s last blog ..Crafty kids =-.

  3. What a lovely post 🙂 I miss you too my friend and it is not the same, you cant start again – I have made friends here but it is not the same – I LOVE YOU VERY MUCHLY AND MISS YOU STAX to! I know I am crap at communication but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about you all the time 🙂 Love Ya Madly

  4. Phats: put simply, “kak” is the afrikaans word for shit, and can be used to refer to animal dung, trouble, rubbish, nonsense or feeling shitty.
    In the context I used it it means REALLY shitty.
    .-= Angel´s last blog ..I Miss My BBF… =-.

  5. I know the feeling, having moved I miss people that really know me and know my history and what has happened in my life. I hope to find someone here. My one school friend I have known forever knows everything about me, but I found when I had kids I met Barbara and we just clicked and she is like a BFF too, it took time but it worked. I miss them both so much.
    .-= Sally-Jane´s last blog ..New idea – knitting website =-.

  6. It takes time to build a new relationship with history and trust. You let people in little bit at a time, but each friendship is different so don’t bother trying replace a great one…it won’t be the same, and it shouldn’t.
    .-= Louisa´s last blog ..278 – 281 of 365 =-.

  7. I totally know how you feel. I’m the one who moved away, and though we still see each other occasionally, we’re not as close as we were before. She still gets me and knows more about me than anyone else. When we do see each other we talk for hours and its like we still live down the road from each other, but I can’t just pick up the phone and chat to her anymore. It breaks my heart.

    I’ve now been living here for almost 7 years and for the first time I’ve found someone who may actually be able to become my new best friend. Its not easy though, we don’t have the history so I’m still not sure how she’ll react to stuff. I guess it’ll take another 18 years before I really know, even though she gets me more than most other people do.

    I suppose what I’m really trying to say is that even though I have a new best friend, she’ll always be “one of my best friends”, if that makes any sense.
    .-= Arkwife´s last blog ..On absence =-.

  8. I totally miss my bestie!! I had to leave her stateside 5 months ago … and after nearly 27 years without her it was bizarre to meet her, love her and leave her! Now we’re in Germ and she’s heading for Japan. Love the life. My two sisters/other besties are also stuck stateside! Vid chat is great … but not AT ALL the same! I feel you!!!
    .-= Darla´s last blog ..absolutely nothing to do with anything =-.

  9. I recently moved and know the feeling, but you got to let someone be a friend for you. Allow people into your life.

  10. I totally feel you. So totally. I actually feel like I don’t have a best friend anymore. One moved to Ireland one is in another city. I get so lonely sometimes I want to just sob. Let me know when you figure it out. 🙂

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