Thirty Days of Blog, Day Twenty Nine

Something you hope to change about yourself, and why.

 

Well, right now the only thing I can think of is my weight. I have never been so fat, ever, and it makes me miserable.

I can’t even pull my tummy in anymore! As much as I love my cleavage, my breasts weigh about 3kg each! I’ve picked up 22 kilograms in the 3 years my Glugster and I have been together.

I got my grubby little paws on a Sass Designs One Dress, and when I saw pictures of myself in it I wanted to cry. When I look at some of the clothes I wore when my hubby and I first met, I get so pissed off with myself I just wanna hide in the bathroom with a bucket of KFC.

Isn’t that ridiculous?!?

Every occasion or mood swing or celebration is a reason to eat for me.

I get despondent over something like how fat I am, and all I can think of is junk food. Date night? We have to eat out, with cocktails and dessert, and then celebrate date night with a giant Coke and a huge box of Smarties poured into my oversized box of popcorn whilst watching a movie.

A trip to the mall just isn’t complete without a stop in at a bakery or pastry shoppe.

A family get together has to include cupcakes and everyone’s favourite snacky things.

I get depressed, I want to eat.

I get excited about something or I want to celebrate, I want to eat.

I have a very slow sugar metabolism, typical of a diabetic family history with the potential of developing it myself where all my weight sits between my crotch and my shoulders, as a result, I look like a bubble on toothpicks because my arms and legs stay pretty thin.

 

I know can’t lose weight unless I cut out carbs, serve smaller portions, cut out sugar AND get some exercise, there’s just no way.

 

And that thought rings in my ears as I take the drive-thru home instead of the highway.

I’m doing a 30 Days Of Blog Challenge

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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10 Responses to Thirty Days of Blog, Day Twenty Nine

  1. meganTS says:

    you know what i wish? that i was one of those people that *stopped* eating when they got stressed/sad/whatever.

    I’m like you, eat for any occasion and reason. It doesn’t help that richard is stick thin and NEVER gains weight (the arsehole :p) and eats whatever he damn well feels like.

    I saw an old photo of myself on facebook from pre-kids era and wanted to jump off a building. as soon as i can, project re-skinnifying shall begin!
    .-= meganTS´s last blog ..In which I prove what an awesome girlfriend I am… =-.

  2. SheBee says:

    Yip – I picked up 10kg in the first year Jon and I were together. I don’t fit into any of the clothes I wore before I met him.

    I’m also 30kg heavier than the day I went into labour with Kiera. How’s THAT for depressing?

    I won’t recommend anything here. You’ll do something about it when you can and when you find the right method.

    I love every inch of you anyway though, you’re beautiful in my eyes.

    #NoHomo
    .-= SheBee´s last blog ..So proud of my friend Ray! =-.

  3. lulu says:

    I’m riding this same wave right now too, also could have written this answer! Ai what to do……….
    .-= lulu´s last blog ..Second Annual Worldwide Moment! =-.

  4. Hardspear says:

    Hey, it ain’t only you ladies… I just had a monster sandwich on Italian bread with half a cow’s worth of pastrami, caramelized onions, relish, tomato, chees & the works…

    I feel uncomfortably fat as of late.
    .-= Hardspear´s last blog ..ADD- Instant Gratification &amp Gardening 2 =-.

  5. tanya says:

    Come to weigh-less with me 🙂 wednesdays 5pm just up le roux road. Its only R175 per month (less if u on discovery)… It really works well, isn’t impossible and offers a support system.
    🙂

  6. cassey says:

    I get it, food sucks, but it’s soo delicious :0 22kg’s in 3 years is a lot, you should find out if you maybe have pcos, I picked up quite a bit of weight and that was one of the reasons why.
    .-= cassey´s last blog ..Day 21- Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before What do you do =-.

  7. Julia says:

    I get it. I could totally have written this.
    xx
    .-= Julia´s last blog ..Random updates =-.

  8. MeeA says:

    Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel. I’m an emotional eater myself, so when it comes to food I’ve never had much self control. The only difference is that, up until I had my 3rd and 4th babies, I could get away with it. Now, I’m 12kg over my pre-pregnancy weight and the chances that I’m going to be able to just ignore it til it goes away on its own are pretty much zip this time around. Maybe it doesn’t look like a big deal to everyone out there who looks at me and hates me for being one of those “skinny” moms, but 12kg is almost 30 percent of my total pre-pregnancy weight. That’s a hugely significant amount of weight gain…
    .-= MeeA´s last blog ..From Under Deep Cover =-.

  9. Melany says:

    I understand where you are coming from. I could have written this post
    .-= Melany´s last blog ..I used to blog =-.

  10. Brigitte says:

    Boy do I ever know how you feel… 🙁
    .-= Brigitte´s last blog ..TAGGED =-.