I had a blog post written, and copied and and and… and I lost it. That did not help improve my foul temper. Now you’re going to be subjected to a whiny rant should you read further, so feel free to click away.
Basically, the dieting sucks. It sucks giant bloody donkey balls is how its going. Not being able to eat what I like when I like makes me one grumpy bitch I can tell you that much. But loathing the blob that I see in the mirror means I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I didn’t even take part in the Sass Designs photo shoot like I was supposed to because when I tried my dress on again a day or so before the shoot I started crying. I’ve spent most of the weekend on the brink of bursting into tears because I think all the time about the foods I am craving and how much I hate the way I look.
Yes my health is suffering and my family’s history of diabetes, kidney trouble, heart problems and arthritis means I should be careful with my diet. And yes I know I will be much happier with myself once I’ve lost the extra weight I’m carrying. But that doesn’t make it any easier not to think about food. Food is my happy place. But looking in the mirror makes me think that I went back in time to find the thin me from 1992, and ate her.