My darling handsome boy, it’s your birthday today, and you are no longer a teenager.
At 2:43AM this morning, you were fast asleep as the twentieth year of your life ended! I was sorely tempted to set my alarm and wake you up at that moment to wish you, but you are not the easiest person to awake and you are very grumpy in those first moments, so I resisted temptation and let you sleep. 😛
baby Damien 1991
Twenty years ago, I woke your grandparents at midnight on a Thursday to tell them I thought we’d best set off for the hospital, with my contractions 5 minutes apart. When we arrived at about 12:30AM, the nurses assured me there was no way you’d make your appearance before 7AM Friday morning, and with that your grampa left for home as he still had to make sure your uncle and aunts- my sister B, sister C and da Bruvva- got to school on time! I could have told them there was no way you were waiting around for sunrise, and I was lucky my Ob-Gyn made it to the hospital in time to deliver you! You weighed 3.2kg and you were exactly 50cm long.
family photo shoot 2009
Last night after you were sleeping, I snuck into your room to leave our family’s traditional birthday gift- a tin of condensed milk and a box of jelly powder- where you would find it when you woke up. We’re celebrating your birthday this year with cake and tea with the family and I have already started working on plans for your twenty first! Yes, how do you know me!?
You sent me a text message yesterday to ask if I would please make cupcakes for you to take to work with you today, and I teased you saying you could have a discount on your order. As I should have known you would, you took me seriously and asked what they would cost you! After I said I would bake for you it struck me that you were taking cake to work for your birthday. Such a grown-up thing to do!
We’ve certainly had a very full twenty years together you and I, and it feels quite surreal to me to think back on how I worked out how old I was going to be when you turned 10, and 20 and 21! The last couple of weeks have been a strange mixture of emotions for me, from feeling old because you are already twenty, to feeling excited and proud because you are twenty!
We’ve had awesome road trips and holidays. We’ve had some really hard times and really flush times too. We’ve had some rip-roaring arguments, you and I. And we’ve had moments where we were sure things couldn’t get any better. And some moments where I’m sure we both felt like we were never going to be able to get past whatever was happening. But we did. And I believe we made each other stronger for it. You are my inspiration. You are my pride. You carry a huge piece of my heart around with you, and I know you won’t understand that until you have your own children- which I hope is one day faaaar in the future! 🙂
I get such a kick out of you bragging to your friends about how your mom makes the best cupcakes and your mom has such awesome taste in music and your mom is a cool mom. I love the random hugs and the occasional kiss and hug hello when you get home from work. I love that you like to have our friends over to your house and that they like coming here.
I cannot explain to you, my darling knucklehead, how much I love you. How proud I am of you. You are working full day, and you impress your bosses and your colleagues with the work you do. You like being an equal instead of someone’s child or cousin and I can see how proud you are of what you do at work when you speak about it. And it means you are able to learn a trade! It’s a far cry from the marine biologist you always dreamed of being, but perhaps one day when you’re making pots of money you can follow your dream.
We have several furbabies we adore- Greebo, Taxi, Magic, Turk Diva and Minx are our cats, and Thelma and Louise are our dogs. Greebo, Magic and Diva are particularly fond of you, Magic following you from window to window when you go outside to have a cigarette, Greebo and Diva sleeping on your bed every night.
So much has changed, and you have changed, yet you are still so much the same! You still laugh when you think something is funny, with no fear of someone thinking you are too loud. You still think of others before yourself, and remember exactly who likes what and who has what favourite colour. You love your extended family! And you still love to read, although your gaming has taken over from that a bit. You like LAN-ing with your friends on weekends and Jonty is your best friend. You play “Warcraft”, “Need For Speed”, and “Warhammer” on your PC, and on the PS2 you like to play “God of War”, “Tony Hawks”, “Devil May Cry” and “Ratchett and Clank”. You still love your heavy metal and death metal, and I doubt that’ll change any time soon. You are taller than me now, and you have a gorgeous build! You keep your hair short because the nature of your work makes long hair very hot and annoying. You have a glorious artistic talent and you still love to draw.
I love that I can still make you laugh by making funny comments about TV shows and whatever is on the radio, or explaining the shape of some weird architectural structure by saying they need a place to hide the trolls.
Our family has grown and we are now three- you have a stepdad whom you respect and with whom you have a lot in common. You and your stepdad both like gaming and this has built many a bridge to connect you two since we met.
And your family has grown in that you are now seeing and spending time with your biological father! You are very happy about it, and I am so glad for you that you and your father get on so well. Your spending time with your paternal family was a huge adjustment for me, so I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for them to suddenly do!
I love that you talk to me. You don’t confide in me as much as you used to, but when you need to talk you do so, and you talk to your stepdad which makes me so very happy.
Your laugh makes my heart want to burst. Seeing you smile or listening to you hose yourself at something funny on the TV makes my heart melt. Even now I marvel at how your taste in comedy has morphed from fart jokes to more intelligent comedy, yet a good fart joke or some other toilet humour will still leave you in fits of laughter!
I love you my darling child.
More than there are stars in the sky.
I love you and I am proud to call you my son.