For Afters…

I was catching up on my blog stalking recently and over on My Panic Room and on Unwritten, I spotted a little blog challenge about how you would like your nearest and dearest to handle the ceremonies and such that centre on one’s departure from this earthly realm. She found it on Pink Hair Girl’s blog, and since it’s something I have given a lot of thought to but never written down, I thought it made for an interesting bit of blogging.

Here goes.

I have no fear of death itself. What makes me sad if I think about it is knowing that I will not be able to hold and love and talk to my husband or my son or my family after I am gone. I am always one to wish for that “just one more”…

But I know where I am going, and I hope with all my heart that my loved ones will know how much I love them.

For one thing, whilst I think I would like a service of some kind, I do not want a coffin “on display” so to speak. I do not want it wheeled or carried in and then carried out. No hearse or pallbearers thank you very much. I find it dreadfully morbid to be entirely honest. If my loved ones would like an “order of service” type flyer or pamphlet with a little something in it then puhleez make sure you use a picture of me that I would have liked too!

I insist on being cremated- after every organ that can possibly be harvested has been taken- but I am quite happy with my body being donated to science too, should they want it of course. 🙂 I want no ashes sprinkled or decorative urns or any such thing thank you very much. In fact, you can leave my ashes with the place that cremated me and they can dispose of what’s left of me in whatever way they do so.

If anyone really wants to do something to remember me by, I would love for them to consider donating money to one of my favourite causes in my name.

As for the actual funeral service or formalities, I don’t want money spent on flowers. I adore flowers, I really do, especially ranunculus and peonies and roses- but it will be money wasted and I would much rather it was spent on snacky stuff, good coffee and champagne for a bit of a wake! I think most of you know how much I love to entertain, so a place and an opportunity after the service for my loved ones to be able to get together and laugh and share is absolutely essential.

During the “formal” part of the day- and since I will already be the centre of attention- I would like as many people to speak of me and their memories, of me as would like to do so. I have been blessed in that I have lost very few people who are really close to me, but I would dearly have loved to have the opportunity to speak of those people and share the memories I treasure.

And whilst I know it may seem incongruous, my favourite song is James Brown’s “I Feel Good” and I would like this song to be played, loudly, when the formalities are concluded. For the rest of the time I want music played. I love music and I am ALWAYS dancing, and I am never quiet so there is not to be a moment’s silence.

So have you thought about what you would like done for after you’re gone?

About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

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4 Responses to For Afters…

  1. acidicice says:

    My grandfather also requested that there be no coffin in the church. He has conducted many funeral services himself and it always made him sad to see how the family would ‘break down’ at the sight of the coffin. It certainly made his funeral a lot easier on us.

    I sincerly hope I will never have to attend your funeral. Love the champagne idea though! So many people speak about ‘celebrating the life of the deceased’, but very few actually do.
    acidicice recently posted…Kirstenbosch and IllnessMy Profile

  2. I totally want to be cremated after every bit of body is used as the docs seem fit. But I do want my ashes to be thrown somewhere pretty – so that my loved ones can have somewhere to go back and remember me. Having lost my dad early I find comfort in going somewhere where I can remember him.

    And I want a rowdy and boozy wake.
    cat@juggling act recently posted…Things I have learned this holidayMy Profile

  3. Julia says:

    Thanks for linking my post. And ditto on the picture on the leaflet. It needs to be the best possible picture of me.
    Like your idea of organ donation. Must admit I had completely forgotten about this. Will investigate this option. I honestly don’t think that science will want my body. Think they would prefer a skinny corpse with 20/20 vision. Snort.
    Julia recently posted…Some questions for a MuesdayMy Profile

  4. Karyn says:

    Yes, I have given thought! Some very dear friends and family have passed in my life over the years and a post like this one gives time to reflect.
    I don’t want a service. I do want to be cremated. I want my ashes to be scattered at sea. I would like family and friends to present when this happens so that they can say their farewells, share memories etc. Thereafter a good old-fashioned wake, with a good braai etc. Of course, all my favourite music to be played, and even a karaoke….always wanted to be a singer!!!
    With you on the flowers ….. donations to my favourite causes rather!!!!