Super Nathan…

Even before he was born, he crept into a Nathan-shaped hole in my soul that I didn’t even know was there!

Every single person he ever met was touched by his light, his constant smile, his passion for learning, his determination, his love of music and singing, his love for his family.

And now he’s gone. We were given almost eight years to share his life on this planet. The randomness that is this life dealt a cruel blow to us on Thursday and our sweet Nathan was taken from us in a car accident.

I keep wanting to slip into my version of a normal life and then I remember why things aren’t normal and I go right back to square one.

I swing from heartbroken to mightily pissed off every other hour. Some of the thoughts in my head will never ever be spoken or written down, and some of them I want to scream out loud! I want to be with my family and I want to be alone. I want to share my memories and feelings with people who care about me and I want to tell everyone to leave me alone. I throw myself into my work with the music as loud as it can go because if I stop to think I am awash with sadness again…

Its times like this that social media is both a blessing and a curse. I am torn between so many different feelings… wanting to ask everyone why they’re still smiling and joking and carrying on regardless when someone so precious has been taken from us, wanting to tweet and comment and update like I always have and feeling like I’m cheating when I want to smile, and wanting to respond to and appreciate every single message of condolence that is coming through from every corner of the planet!

I cannot imagine- if this is how I am feeling- what my brother must be going through in trying to live with the loss of his son.

I wish I had phoned him more. I wish we had been able to see him more often.

Its so wrong.

Its so unfair.

Its not right.

Have you told your children you love them? Have you told your spouse? Your siblings? Do you tell them every day? Don’t wait. Please don’t wait. Please don’t allow your ire at others to get in the way of letting your loved ones know they are your loved ones.

I miss you Nathan. We miss you. Your knucklehead cousin misses you. So very much.

18 thoughts on “Super Nathan…

  1. Oh sweetie. My family sends out love and support for you and yours from all over the world. I am very sad for you. My grief in your situation … Arg/sigh … I grieve for you and the horrible pain you have right now. If I could I would kick shins, stop traffic, scream it from the rooms and make the happy people calm the fuck down for you. Make it all be silent, if only for a moment. (hugs)
    Darla recently posted…who you calling a fat boy?!My Profile

  2. I have no worthwhile words.
    Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family at this tragic time.

  3. I am sorry to hear about the loss.. I hope everything will be all right and you can now move on with the incident that had happened to Nathan..
    Kazsandra recently posted…Gout Home RemediesMy Profile

  4. been thinkin gof you and your family since i read the tweets last week! although we’ve never met ive followed all your blogs for as long as i can remember and can only imagine what you are going through. Sending big hugs and comfort your way

  5. I don’t think I have ever posted on your site but this broke my heart. I check your page a few times a week for a laugh, inspiration to see what goodies you have made but never did I think when I clicked the link tonight I would ready I am so very sorry. I do not know you but please know you and your entire family will be in my every prayer and thought. Blessings to you and yours.

Comments are closed.