Sometimes I Feel Like I Don’t Fit In…

Its an odd feeling.

Its not that I feel unwelcome, I just don’t feel like I have anything to contribute to the conversation…

Most of my friends have young children- toddlers and school age kidlets- and whilst I do sometimes have something to contribute to a conversation it feels like I am butting in. And when I think about what I want to say, I sound- to myself- like one of those old ladies who has to have her two cents and talks too loud, you know the ones where everyone nods and smiles until she’s done and then carries on regardless.

I am also a mom, but my knucklehead is twenty one years old already so whilst I do still have parenting issues with him living at home, I am no longer dealing with school runs, homework, PTA meetings, kids parties, potty training, puking, upset tummies and the like.

I do remember things from when he was growing up that may be relevant in a conversation with other moms, but it feels really strange to be sharing something from so many years ago.

15 thoughts on “Sometimes I Feel Like I Don’t Fit In…

  1. Well, darling, I feel like this 95% of the time. That’s why I blog because there are one or two other people who can say yes, me too, sometimes 🙂

    I’ve never felt in but it mostly doesn’t bother me… mostly. Although sometimes I will say, “really God, did you have to make me so weird?”

    I don’t get the perfect mothers AT ALL. I’m trying to create a good family but I scream too much *sigh* and generally try and do too much .

    Weird people unite?

    PS I have always thought you are super awesome!
    Marcia (123 blog) recently posted…Your new president and our first dental visitMy Profile

  2. Although I have kids too, I have it hard to follow or related to a lot of them too. The parenting blogs are too often peaches & cream love on their child. Or the crafty crafties. I’m sorry. I can’t make a bloody snowflake from a styrofoam cup. And I suck at Halloween. And than there’s the Pretties. The women that if you stood next to them in real life you’d feel Invisible because of her Beautiful Sunbeam Glow. The weight loss blogs. Here’s my meal plan, and workout plan, and Let Me Still Rub It In how I’ve perfected it all!! My kids are rude and mouthy. And we yell and cuss sometimes. And we ground. And we let them watch R rated movies on occasion. And I am crazy addicted to my family. And we’re dirt poor. And I’m ok with that!! I love that Knucklehead isn’t perfect, and you’re REAL!! Big Hugs!!
    Bex recently posted…my name is…My Profile

  3. I feel like this often. But that’s because everyone ONLY shares the perfection that is their kids. I can’t talk about my kids getting colours for sports and getting straight A’s and generally managing their live SO WELL! As you know, it’s a daily struggle and the milestones that we celebrate are different to what the average parent celebrates. Things like our kids remembering to brush their teeth. Or starting homework without us having to ask. OR bringing the homework notebook without me saying “where’s your diary, what’s for homework”. So, I hear you. And although our contexts at the moment are different I totally get what you are saying in this post. BTW I LOVE reading about your Knucklehead – in fact I’d love it if you could blog about adult ADD – not specifically about him – just keep it general. I meant what I said btw…you really should put all your ADD/ADHD posts into an e-book format and sell it for $5 or whatever. You are a great writer.
    ps..I don’t comment on many blogs these days, simply because I don’t have the time – for the most part I batch comment the way you do.

  4. I’m always at a loss … Like one of those women who must know everything even though my experience is what? Those scant bit of babysitting I randomly do ? Drives me a little crazy sometimes. I’m like parenting methods? Hippy baby juggling? You nurse until they cut themselves off even though your toddler enjoys steak and is in grammar school?! See I can start fights and my cat is litter trained !

  5. I also feel like that sometimes, like I don’t fit in. Because i am so much older than most. I mostly am ok with it,but I can relate to the feeling of not fitting in.

  6. I guess it depends where the conversation is and with whom. Really, fellow school moms the conversation inevitably circles around the kids, with other friends, hec, I would rather discuss more interesting things. Funny enough, our bookclub used to be over stocked with young moms but two girls were TTC for a long time. So whenever a mom resigned we filled the place with either a non mom or a mom with older kids, even two grannies. It has certainly been for the better of the group and a much much more interesting conversation

  7. Heck, my kids are all still very young and even I feel like I don’t fit in most of the time. I don’t fit the hip mom mould, have done nothing by anyone’s book but my own and am pretty sure that lots of the cool moms out there think I’m some kind of hillbilly trash.
    I’d love to talk about stuff like the writing work I’ve been doing and how business is going and what books I’ve been reading (or dreaming about reading 😛 ) … But I’m also not one of the cool digital crowd and I’m afraid to let on how little I know while I feel my way around this stuff. So I keep quiet and I don’t blog much and I tweet the odd “safe” tweet about my kids because that’s the level of reality I feel I can comfortably share without making myself a complete outcast… And I tell myself that one day I’ll be smart enough to have a real conversation again.
    Personally, I enjoy the bits you share of your parenting experiences both old and current. The fact that your child is now an adult doesn’t make your contributions to parenting chats any less valid than anyone else’s. If anything, your experience places you in the “veteran” category and your opinion therefore ranks senior to those of the nOOb mommies… 😛
    MeeA recently posted…Whore-MoansMy Profile

  8. Mwahaha…sorry for laughing, but I remember before I had Nicola I used to join baby and child conversations based on what my cat Tigger had been up to. People must have thought I was really odd. 😉

    Kids…they grow up eventually. We all need something to talk about after that happens and before we turn into photo album carrying grannies! 😉

    I saw you blaze through my posts this weekend and it made me happy to know you haven’t abondoned talking to me, even though at least half of what I have to say (if not more) is either about what Nicola’s been up to or things I can’t really say concerning the secret place.

    If you hang in there just a bit more I will at some stage become a more balanced human again, promise. I plan to slowly but surely start scaling down on the level of N-share anyway, because I am sure she will want some sort of privacy by the time she hits school?
    Louisa recently posted…Friday at last!My Profile

  9. Oh, I know the feeling. We have this same situation with people who don’t have children. We sometimes want to talk about our children because they do make us proud and people listen, nods and then just continue with their conversations as if you have said nothing 🙁
    blackhuff recently posted…The weekend that wasMy Profile

  10. OMG!!! You are so lucky. I can NOT wait until I never have to discuss kid stuff again. (I already celebrate the fact that I do not have to discuss anything relating to pregnancy or babies).
    I mean, I don’t want to be a grinch or anything but sometimes I wish I could delete half my twitter stream.
    BUT having said that, I really like it when you offer me some pearls of wisdom or relate something back to your knucklehead especially as we have the single mama thing in common.
    And I hardly ever comment any more because of things being taken the wrong way etc.
    The SA internet is a very different place to what it was when we met six years ago!
    Rebecca recently posted…RazorMy Profile

  11. I always feel like I don’t fit in lol, not just with my friends who have babies…..Hoping I find someone like me one day.

  12. When I read your blog I feel like if we lived closer we could be friends. I identify with so much of what you say etc. Maybe it’s because our kids are a similar age?

  13. Feel the same way, even though my kids are school going age.
    Sometimes I think it’s because I blog and I read so many blogs too, and I know that if I say something it’ll be taken the wrong way
    Jenty recently posted…A musical party of noteMy Profile

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