Food, Glorious Food…

I love food.

I love to eat, I love to bake, I love to cook.
I’m not terribly inventive when it comes to cooking but I can follow a recipe no problem, and I love experimenting with my baking.

I have a sweet tooth, but my favourite “snack” is chips – Lays Plain Salted or Nik Naks or bread sticks… I can polish off a tin of condensed milk in five minutes flat and I love it when its ice cold!
I can ignore my baking ingredients – the chocolate, nougat, créme caramels and icing – but if I experiment with a recipe and make caramel or toffee or some such I can’t leave it alone!

I love junk food…

I love Coke…

And any occasion is an excuse to eat.
Celebrating a special day like birthdays or Christmas.
A shopping trip is incomplete without fast food of some kind.
When I stress, I eat. And then I stress about the fact that I am stuffing my face and I am fatter than I have ever been in my entire life, and I eat some more.
The only time I don’t feel like eating is when I get really angry…

I have no self control. No self motivation. Not when it comes to food.
I joined Weight Watchers once, and spent a year paying off the six or eight weigh-ins I attended, and I lost and regained 5kg.
I have joined a gym three times – paying the discounted rate you get on Vitality – and all three memberships have lapsed because I couldn’t get my arse in gear to go to the gym often enough.
I was seeing a dietitian once, but that fizzled out.

And I know how I am supposed to eat. I know my sugar metabolism is slow so I should be watching my processed carb and refined sugar intake. I know I will do a WHOLE lot better if I just try to do the “everything in moderation” thing, I’ve done it before.
Once my Glugster and I bought into a prepared meal programme and we lost a lot of weight because our meals were prepared for us, they just had to be microwaved. That worked well. But its expensive.

The only time I lost a significant amount of weight was after my Hiatus Hernia surgery in 2006. And the reason I lost so much weight was because it was physically painful if I ate too much! Breads and chicken were too dry to eat and if I ate more than a teaspoonful of food at a time it would get stuck and I battled to swallow it.

And now looking at myself in a mirror makes me want to cry. And feeling like that doesn’t help me stay motivated and focused on other aspects of my life either.

My Glugster and I have an appointment with a dietitian next week, and unless she beats me with a stick for not eating properly, I don’t know if seeing her is going to help at all…

8 thoughts on “Food, Glorious Food…

  1. BIG hugs thought the post was about me. I feel the same way and with my BIG 40th birthday coming up i dont want to be known as fat and forty. Hope the dietician can help

  2. You must experiment and find healthy alternatives for meals that you enjoy, and once you start eating healthy foods you get used to them and don’t want to eat the other stuff, your body is addicted to refined carbs and junk food, you just need to go through “withdrawal” and form the same connection with healthy foods.

    You enjoy take-aways: Hamburgers are totally fine, as long as you make them at home and are not take-away, using lean mince meat. And you can make them much tastier anyways and its so simple.

    The sweet tooth thing is difficult because it’s hard to substitute but trust me its an addiction and when you don’t consume any sugar AT ALL for like 3 weeks, you won’t want to eat it anymore, and when you do taste it it will be “too” sweet, just try it Angel. And as I said before subsititute xylitol for sugar. And eat a tablespoon of organic virgin coconut oil a couple times a day. I wouldn’t waste your time and money on a dietician. Weight loss is easy, when you’re tempted just think about how your body is making you feel down, and eat something healthy or healthier, you don’t need to go vegan and fat free to lose weight, and as I said before on your gynae visit post, fat free is bad for you and your body needs fat. I eat a high fat diet, cheese everyday, cream based sauces, full cream milk….no problems, I just dont eat refined carbs and my weight stays at 51kg and Im 32 years old 1.63m tall, do hardly any exercise, it really just comes down to eating the right stuff.

    Important to eat a big breakfast within 2 hours of waking up, I say eat whatever you want for breakfast, as long as its low GI wholegrain toast/bread if you’re having bread and of course no sugary cereal. Eggs, cheese, meat it’s all okay, be careful of sausages though but bacon is okay…
    And don’t eat dinner later than 6pm!!!! and NO snacking in between meals, just breakfast lunch and dinner, if you’re hungry at 11am then eat your lunch at 11am.

    My advice will work.

    Why don’t you give yourself a challenge, to take a photo in a tight fitting outfit on the first day of every month and post it here, so you know we’re all going to be seeing these pics, maybe it will help keep you motivated, and after 3 months you will see the difference and that awesome feeling will keep you going, wear the same outfit in each pic.

  3. What MeeA said.

    I hear you. Really I do. You know how I see myself. Biggest of hugs.

  4. My advise – start small! Cut out one bad thing now and then next month another – often when you cut out one the related stuff comes easily.

    Why not try Weigh-less – that worked for me because I was accountable to someone each week!!

    Dieticians, to me, all say the same thing and don’t offer much support!

    But like Marleen said – you have to want to! Once you want to you can do anything 🙂
    Laura recently posted…Phineas and Ferb and their local salesman!My Profile

  5. Oi vey, my friend you and I are in the same boat. And it doesn’t help when my significant other half has a new lease on life and is shedding weight every time I blink.

    So now it’s not just my perception of myself that I worry about, it’s his perception of me, and what other people must think when they see him looking all fit and trim and me wobbly and unstable on my feet.

    Fuck. It’s a really hard headspace to get away from, I managed for a while, but I’m right back into the negativity again. I found that doing something physical that I love helps (dancing) get the blood flowing and motivates me to eat better.

    And we’ve made space in our home so that we can dance together at home too, instead of paying for extra lessons. Makes a big difference.

    Thinking of you. Remember to be kind to yourself. Self loathing makes things so much worse.

    SheBee recently posted…Attack of the AcronymsMy Profile

  6. Angel, I get so many people telling me this including my dearest husband. The thing comes into play, that you need to be ready to make the change. You can visit a dietitian, join a gym or Weight Watchers etc, but if you’re not ready to make that change then it will not happen.
    A dietitian, trainer, group support system will tell you what to do but it’s still you that have to have that “WANT” to make a change.
    Good luck with next week.
    blackhuff recently posted…It’s not Winter yet.My Profile

  7. Have you considered hypnosis? I know some people said it helped. The barriatric surgery may work too but only if you stay on track after and don’t end up gaining it back.

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