I love food.
I love to eat, I love to bake, I love to cook.
I’m not terribly inventive when it comes to cooking but I can follow a recipe no problem, and I love experimenting with my baking.
I have a sweet tooth, but my favourite “snack” is chips – Lays Plain Salted or Nik Naks or bread sticks… I can polish off a tin of condensed milk in five minutes flat and I love it when its ice cold!
I can ignore my baking ingredients – the chocolate, nougat, créme caramels and icing – but if I experiment with a recipe and make caramel or toffee or some such I can’t leave it alone!
I love junk food…
I love Coke…
And any occasion is an excuse to eat.
Celebrating a special day like birthdays or Christmas.
A shopping trip is incomplete without fast food of some kind.
When I stress, I eat. And then I stress about the fact that I am stuffing my face and I am fatter than I have ever been in my entire life, and I eat some more.
The only time I don’t feel like eating is when I get really angry…
I have no self control. No self motivation. Not when it comes to food.
I joined Weight Watchers once, and spent a year paying off the six or eight weigh-ins I attended, and I lost and regained 5kg.
I have joined a gym three times – paying the discounted rate you get on Vitality – and all three memberships have lapsed because I couldn’t get my arse in gear to go to the gym often enough.
I was seeing a dietitian once, but that fizzled out.
And I know how I am supposed to eat. I know my sugar metabolism is slow so I should be watching my processed carb and refined sugar intake. I know I will do a WHOLE lot better if I just try to do the “everything in moderation” thing, I’ve done it before.
Once my Glugster and I bought into a prepared meal programme and we lost a lot of weight because our meals were prepared for us, they just had to be microwaved. That worked well. But its expensive.
The only time I lost a significant amount of weight was after my Hiatus Hernia surgery in 2006. And the reason I lost so much weight was because it was physically painful if I ate too much! Breads and chicken were too dry to eat and if I ate more than a teaspoonful of food at a time it would get stuck and I battled to swallow it.
And now looking at myself in a mirror makes me want to cry. And feeling like that doesn’t help me stay motivated and focused on other aspects of my life either.
My Glugster and I have an appointment with a dietitian next week, and unless she beats me with a stick for not eating properly, I don’t know if seeing her is going to help at all…