As I Sit Here…

…eating instant noodles out of the packet, raw- because I was craving something salty- I marvel yet again at my lack of self control when it comes to food.
I find food in my hand without knowing how it got there.
I find myself in a KFC drive-thru as if my car has a mind of its own.
I mean, you know you have a problem when you eat things you’re not supposed to eat, and then hide the evidence of said eating from your other half, right?


On Monday we were back at the dietitian for our monthly appointment, and because we are car-less again we had to walk there, and back – a 7,2km trip…
It was a lot longer than I would have liked to do but it had to be done, and we did pretty well. In fact we’ve impressed ourselves with the walks we’ve been able to do without feeling like we’re going to keel over! On Saturday AND Sunday we walked a 4,5km route, with Riddick in tow, and we felt fine! And we’re enjoying it. The evenings are wonderfully cool so I can actually walk without sweating like a racehorse, and we talk while we walk which is really cool. And I never thought I would do it but I actually downloaded an app that tracks your exercise routine!

And then we were at the dietitian’s office, after what I thought had been a pretty good month (even with a few special occasions that always lead to cheating) and I had lost a total of 400g.


I was instantly fed up. I am surprised I managed not to burst into tears. I was pissed off with myself and I was annoyed that all we had done had come to practically nought.
Granted, her scale said I had lost fat and gained muscle, but it still felt like I’d achieved nothing.

We’ve been doing this now for almost 8 months and I was “planning” to have lost at least 16kg by now. I haven’t yet managed to lose 10kg.
It feels pathetic. 
And its very disheartening.

The healthier eating doesn’t require much thinking anymore- we just do it. And thanks to my baking, I have a pretty good “eye” so I don’t have to haul out the measuring cups to serve our meals anymore. We even have dinners of only veggies and protein- and whilst I have always loved my veggies I never thought my Glugster would actually enjoy eating like that too. I pack a lunchbox for my hubby every day, and some days I remember to do one for me too…

And we both know what we need to do. We’re walking more, we’re watching what we eat- I’m just not watching what I eat enough.
My darling Glugster- and the dietitian- are happy with our progress, and they’re happy that we’re not yo-yo-ing up and down every month, I just need it to be faster.


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About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

7 Responses to As I Sit Here…

  1. Hang in there Angel – you are steadily losing, which is great
    cat@jugglingact recently posted…Embrace enthusiasmMy Profile

  2. SheBee says:

    PS: You’ve inspired me to be brave enough to write out my latest post.

    Love you x

  3. SheBee says:

    I so know how you’re feeling. But don’t be SO BLOODY HARD ON YOURSELF. 400G is at least 4 poohs.

    Keep on keeping on, it will come off eventually. You’re beautiful in my eyes always. xoxox
    SheBee recently posted…Jerm Warfare, family reunions & an alternate ending to GravityMy Profile

  4. MeeA says:

    Apologies, Tam. Angel, I agree with what *Tam* said.
    *Picks up phone to call optometrist.*

  5. MeeA says:

    I agree with Tanya. Take a look at what 400g looks like – it’s NOT nothing! Incidentally, I weighed 2.1kg at birth. 400g Is almost a quarter of a WHOLE BABY!
    Also, you are a rock star, cheating and all! 😉

  6. Chantal says:

    RAW noodles?!?!?! 🙁

    Anyways, here is the magic, best thing you can ever do and it works, promise promise promise. Drink 1 teaspoon of organic apple cider vingear diluted in 500ml of water half an hour before lunch and dinner and you will lose weight, promise!!! I’m 50kg and should be 52kg but I can’t gain it back coz I drink my ACV for it’s health benefits and not even everyday, and I only have it once a day, but for weight loss drink it twice a day. Has to be organic and with the mother, get it from your local health store, but make sure its with the mother (you will see the sediment at the bottom of the bottle) just google aCV and weight loss. It speeds up your metabolism, burns fat in your food, and has a myriad of other health benefits, from lowering cholestrol and blood pressure to aiding with gout and heartburn. I’ll message you on facebook and ask for your email address and send you something.

  7. Tam says:

    Don’t give up. Take a look at what 400 grams actually looks like. I recently blogged what 2.1 kilos looks like visually. Go take a look.

    If you are hiding food, consider whether or not you fit the compulsive eater profile. I have compulsive eating disorder and I know how tough it can be. Check it out for yourself.

    But don’t give up.
    Tam recently posted…Lessons Learned from the Gym PervMy Profile