It Was Time.

I finally went and saw a shrink.
Its been many years since I was last on any kind of anti-depressant medication, and back then I was a single mom and I had a lot of crap on my plate.

I have normal, “every day” stress just like everyone else. My version of it includes:

  • parenting my adult, special needs son who refuses to acknowledge that he needs any kind of treatment
  • worrying about cash flow (AKA  petrol money and groceries)
  • trying to eat properly
  • procrastinating and making more work for myself
  • procrastinating about seeing to my own ADHD…
  • and…
  • and…

Then late last year there was some serious family kak that caused a rift in my family. My extremely close, any excuse to spend time together family. That rift stresses me beyond comprehension and it contributed to a knot of nervous tension that has not dissipated in months. It reached a point where I was crying all the time – for everything.
Except when I was with my Glugster. He is my happy place, my rock, and he keeps me sane. He cooked and cleaned when I was not able to muster the energy to get out of bed.

So I found a psychiatrist who was nearby (and contracted in) and went to see her. She was not at all happy and she wanted to admit me for a week! On her depression rating I scored a 9 out of 10! We chatted for a while- when I wasn’t bawling- and I like her.
She sent me for blood tests to make sure everything else was as it should be (my hopelessly under-active thyroid is a problem), and she wants me to see a psychologist to talk about things she thinks I need to deal with – like the recent family drama. She also thinks I have not properly dealt with losing Nathan…

She prescribed a month of Nuzak since its something I used before – that worked – but I wanted something that didn’t affect mine and my Glugster’s love life in any way, and many ADs do.

So just after 7am this morning, I swallowed my first Wellbutrin. Apprehensively I must add. I’m sitting now waiting for side effects… She also gave me Xanor to take “if I need it” because stopping the Nuzak may make me feel anxious…

I’m a little nervous but I don’t know if its the lack of Nuzak or the new meds…

9 thoughts on “It Was Time.

  1. Much love to you, my beautiful friend. It is time for me to go back for a tweak. I DO think I need a new Dr. xxxxx

  2. I feel like I’m drowning, I cry all the time, I want to die but don’t want to kill myself. I feel like clawing the skin off my face. I feel like the loneliest person in the whole world, and I’ll never be someone’s friend or anything. I need to see a dr, don’t know how to talk about it, or where to start. I feel so empty inside, and like something is broken, you’re lucky you have one person that you feel okay with. I just made the biggest mistake of my life two nights ago, because I’m always so sad and lonely. I don’t wanna take meds, I think I’m going to have to just keep talking to someone. How do you find a good psychologist? it seems so bizarre to tell someone all your secrets and problems.

    • Shoowee… It sounds like you really need to see someone, Chantal!
      I knew I needed medication, not just talking, so I looked for a psychiatrist that my medical aid would pay for that was close by so I didn’t have to drive for miles to get there.
      She wants me to see a psychologist for a little extra therapy, but I haven’t entirely made up my mind about that yet.
      Perhaps thats a place for you to start – medical aid and close by?

      • Thanks for the reply, I was pretty overwhelmed, doing a bit better this week. Having second thoughts about a doctor, going to go to Tibet or Rishikesh and meditate for 3 months, think that’ll help alot.

  3. The thyroid is the reason why you aren’t losing as much weight as you want to. Did the dietitian not do this testing? This is the first thing a personal trainer ask his/her overweight clients to do to eliminate this.
    Anyway, I am happy that you went to see someone. I like that you are blogging about it because many people are scared about talking seeing a shrink. More people like you are needed in this world of ours.

  4. Gosh my friend! I know we don’t “talk” often but I had no idea 🙁 I am sorry but so glad you have the Glugster and are now getting help – sometimes we have to admit we just can’t do it all ourselves.

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