It Was Time.

I finally went and saw a shrink.
Its been many years since I was last on any kind of anti-depressant medication, and back then I was a single mom and I had a lot of crap on my plate.

I have normal, “every day” stress just like everyone else. My version of it includes:

  • parenting my adult, special needs son who refuses to acknowledge that he needs any kind of treatment
  • worrying about cash flow (AKA  petrol money and groceries)
  • trying to eat properly
  • procrastinating and making more work for myself
  • procrastinating about seeing to my own ADHD…
  • and…
  • and…

Then late last year there was some serious family kak that caused a rift in my family. My extremely close, any excuse to spend time together family. That rift stresses me beyond comprehension and it contributed to a knot of nervous tension that has not dissipated in months. It reached a point where I was crying all the time – for everything.
Except when I was with my Glugster. He is my happy place, my rock, and he keeps me sane. He cooked and cleaned when I was not able to muster the energy to get out of bed.

So I found a psychiatrist who was nearby (and contracted in) and went to see her. She was not at all happy and she wanted to admit me for a week! On her depression rating I scored a 9 out of 10! We chatted for a while- when I wasn’t bawling- and I like her.
She sent me for blood tests to make sure everything else was as it should be (my hopelessly under-active thyroid is a problem), and she wants me to see a psychologist to talk about things she thinks I need to deal with – like the recent family drama. She also thinks I have not properly dealt with losing Nathan…

She prescribed a month of Nuzak since its something I used before – that worked – but I wanted something that didn’t affect mine and my Glugster’s love life in any way, and many ADs do.

So just after 7am this morning, I swallowed my first Wellbutrin. Apprehensively I must add. I’m sitting now waiting for side effects… She also gave me Xanor to take “if I need it” because stopping the Nuzak may make me feel anxious…

I’m a little nervous but I don’t know if its the lack of Nuzak or the new meds…

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About Angel

Wife, mom, cake artist, Guide Dog puppy raiser, ADHD champion, wedding planner, and tattooed cat slave.

9 Responses to It Was Time.

  1. Julia says:

    Much love to you, my beautiful friend. It is time for me to go back for a tweak. I DO think I need a new Dr. xxxxx

  2. Chantal says:

    I feel like I’m drowning, I cry all the time, I want to die but don’t want to kill myself. I feel like clawing the skin off my face. I feel like the loneliest person in the whole world, and I’ll never be someone’s friend or anything. I need to see a dr, don’t know how to talk about it, or where to start. I feel so empty inside, and like something is broken, you’re lucky you have one person that you feel okay with. I just made the biggest mistake of my life two nights ago, because I’m always so sad and lonely. I don’t wanna take meds, I think I’m going to have to just keep talking to someone. How do you find a good psychologist? it seems so bizarre to tell someone all your secrets and problems.

    • Angel says:

      Shoowee… It sounds like you really need to see someone, Chantal!
      I knew I needed medication, not just talking, so I looked for a psychiatrist that my medical aid would pay for that was close by so I didn’t have to drive for miles to get there.
      She wants me to see a psychologist for a little extra therapy, but I haven’t entirely made up my mind about that yet.
      Perhaps thats a place for you to start – medical aid and close by?

      • Chantal says:

        Thanks for the reply, I was pretty overwhelmed, doing a bit better this week. Having second thoughts about a doctor, going to go to Tibet or Rishikesh and meditate for 3 months, think that’ll help alot.

  3. blackhuff says:

    The thyroid is the reason why you aren’t losing as much weight as you want to. Did the dietitian not do this testing? This is the first thing a personal trainer ask his/her overweight clients to do to eliminate this.
    Anyway, I am happy that you went to see someone. I like that you are blogging about it because many people are scared about talking seeing a shrink. More people like you are needed in this world of ours.

  4. Laura says:

    Gosh my friend! I know we don’t “talk” often but I had no idea 🙁 I am sorry but so glad you have the Glugster and are now getting help – sometimes we have to admit we just can’t do it all ourselves.

    Laura recently posted…Worried about breastfeeding?My Profile

  5. Jeanette says:

    So glad you went. I know it worked wonders for my mom.
    Jeanette recently posted…Getting proper about runningMy Profile

  6. I am so glad you went Angel. And I really hope you find something that helps. Big hugs
    cat@jugglingact recently posted…Life’s too short…My Profile