Always A Mom… No Longer A Parent?

I was thinking about my knucklehead a lot this weekend… He left for Madagascar a week ago and its very likely that I won’t see him for a whole year! A whole year of no hugs or selfies! I miss him terribly!
And there’s next to no signal there, so I can’t even phone!
When we did chat last week, briefly, and with a 12-second delay, I caught myself wanting to remind him to keep his room tidy, and shower every day… And then reminding myself that he’s 27.
And working.
And travelling the world on his own.

And then I started thinking of my relationships with my mom and my sisters, and registering that whilst I am ALWAYS going to be my knucklehead’s mom, I no longer have to be his parent*.

This gets REALLY tricky when your child lives at home as an adult, but lets face it – few people starting out can afford to get their own place these days… And now he lives far away, and whilst I really hope he picks up after himself, I can’t remind him to do it.
Reminding him to do things like that would be like reminding him to be a grown up, and possibly make him wonder if I trust him. After I have spent years trying to teach him to be responsible and make his own decisions and choices.
It would be the same as my mom coming to my house and commenting on how it looks a little untidy! Or questioning decisions I’ve made with my husband!
Embarrassing and aggravating at the same time!
And however I try and make it sound like casual conversation, it will be criticism.

So now I’m a on a new learning curve…

*There may be a few exceptions to this rule…

2 thoughts on “Always A Mom… No Longer A Parent?

  1. You are very wise, Angel. Hugs. It is evident how much you love him. GOOD mothers struggle with letting go. Be proud. The Knucklehead will NEVER forget what you have meant for his existence.

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