Being “Friends” on Facebook

At the beginning of this year, I had a bit of a revelation.
It had been on my mind for ages, I could just never quite put my finger on it. And then one day – the words put themselves together in my brain.

The moment you realise you’re just a FB friend,
when all along you thought you were more.

After that little epiphany, I started thinking about it more and more, and about my life and friends pre-Facebook. A time when I actually SPOKE to my friends on the phone. When I actually SAW my friends in person. When my social circle was small. Before people developed a complete aversion to answering their phones at all (and I LOVE speaking on the phone).
And I know FOMO well. It has plagued me all my life. You know the feeling – when you see your “friends” doing something without you, or getting together somewhere without you. That has bugged me less and less this year, and FOMO has always existed, but I have come to the conclusion that its Facebook’s real bread and butter – its what keeps people logging in and scrolling.
What really got to me though, what REALLY opened my eyes, was when people I thought were actual friends of mine, experienced major life events – and I knew no more about what was happening than anyone else who could see their Facebook feed.
That really hurt, because I was under the illusion I was closer to them.

Its taken me months to actually start doing anything about it, and I have no intention of closing my Facebook account, but I am unfriending* and un-following people regularly now. And I’m not doing it with any of those attention-seeking “I’m culling my friends list, leave a comment if you still love me” posts either.
Whilst I have used the “birthday notification rule” for some time now – the one where you unfriend someone after getting a Facebook birthday notification, but you have had no interaction with that person in over a year, but I am getting stricter with myself.
If someone makes me roll my eyes on a regular basis, for whatever reason, I un-follow them.
If someone makes me wonder how the hell we became Facebook friends in the first place, I unfriend them.

Its given me an odd sense of peace. An “out of sight, out of mind” kind of peace. Its made me determined to properly reconnect with the real people in my life.

*I loathe the word, I know its accepted, but it still sounds grammatically wrong to me.

Worn Out From Fun!

Isn’t it awesome when you’re exhausted because you’ve been having fun!?

On Friday my Glugster came home from work a smidge early, and we went grocery shopping. Once again we came in on budget, including dog food, cat food and meat. That always feels like a win!
After our shopping trip I had a cake to finish for The Cupcake Lady for a Saturday morning collection so I was up quite late…

On Saturday morning my mommy darling came with me to the Beauty & Wellbeing Expo at the Gallagher Convention Centre, which is around the corner from where I live… But because there was a bloody Amway Convention happening in the hall next door, we took over an hour to get there! It was insane! And there were actually people scalping tickets at the entrance like it was a rock concert or something!
The Beauty Expo was great fun. My mommy darling and I don’t often get to do things together with just us two, so when I won tickets from Wenchy, I called my mom immediately!
Here’s a view from the top… 😛

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Along with my two tickets, I also won a Wand-A-Brush set which I claimed at the Expo, and I got a little hamper with Himalaya Herbal Healthcare products in it.
Walking around the Expo was very interesting, and I couldn’t believe how many different stands there were for nail care and polishes! And my mom and I walked away shaking our heads, from a stand advertising a hormone injection that gives you a tan!!
We watched an aerobics demo, and a make up demo where the very flamboyant make up artist actually put blusher between the models’ fingers and behind her ears!

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Then we watched a gelish presentation and they were handing out samples of their Magneto lacquer! I got a pinkish-red “Electric Metal Lover” and my mommy darling got a silver-grey “Iron Princess“, and then I won a prize by answering a question – a gelish nail treatment at Sorbet and another Magneto colour, a green “Polar Attraction“.
I would have liked to do a couple of the other “freebies” that were available, like the skin analysis and having my make up done, but the queues got longer and longer so we didn’t wait. Once we’d seen everything we went home and played with our nail polishes, and I realised that I can’t even paint someone else’s nails properly! 🙂

On Saturday evening, we had a few friends over to celebrate my Glugster’s birthday. We had a lot of laughs and WAAAY too much tequila and strawberry liqueur, and we were done and in bed by 11PM. ‘Coz we’re old and thats how we roll.
And we only clicked the next morning that we hadn’t eaten the whole of Saturday, which was why we felt so horrible on Sunday!

On Sunday, mine and my Glugster’s parents came over for a birthday lunch.
While I was preparing ingredients and getting ready for lunch, my sweetheart delivered our Santa Shoebox to the drop off point and while he was gone I realised I hadn’t taken a picture of it!
Anyhoodle, when I asked my Glugster what I could cook for him for his birthday he said, “chicken pie”, so on Sunday I made my first ever pie! It was delicious, and a complete diversion from our healthy eating plan – even more so when I served it with grilled potato wedges!

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All in all we had a wonderful weekend, and early on Sunday evening I fell so deep asleep I didn’t even hear my darling husband cooking the leftover chicken breasts that I didn’t use in the pie (so they wouldn’t go off) and tidying the kitchen for me!
Do I have an awesome husband or what!

So how was your weekend?

The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways Indeed…

My faith is not something I discuss openly, or often.
As a Christian, I believe – me, personally, I believe – that there are three things that are integral to how God wants a Christian to live. One is witnessing to people. I don’t witness, not verbally. I feel that since I don’t go to church on any kind of regular basis (which is the second thing I believe is a very important part of being a Christian, fellowship, worship and learning with other Christians), I can’t tell other people how to be a Christian without coming across as a hypocrite… But I do hope that how I live my life will “witness” for me.
Does that make sense?
Prayer is the third thing about being a Christian that I believe you should practise all the time. You need to talk to Him and listen to Him, and you do that through prayer.

I often tell people I will pray for them, and unless I know they would do the same I am often afraid that they may find it a little, um… Whats the word…? Off putting? Irksome? Offensive? I dunno.
Anyhoodle.
I do mean it when I say it, though. And I do pray for my friends and my family, every day.
Sometimes there are specific things I pray for – if I know someone is ill or concerned about something or someone. I ask that my husband and my son will get to and from work safely every day. I ask for healing for my daddy darling and for my mommy darling to stress less. I pray for each of my family members and their partners and children. I ask for things for me too.
And I thank Him. I thank Him for prayers answered and for blessings – my wonderful family, my amazing friends, my animals, the opportunities I am given, our health – the list is a long one.

And my prayers are answered. Thats what the title is about.
He doesn’t always answer prayers with a simple “yes” or “no”, and He doesn’t always do so immediately. You have to keep your eyes and ears peeled for the answers. You have to be patient. And you have to know that He will answer you.

This week was a perfect example and a reminder of that for me.

After our move to the new house, on which we spent more money than we should have – painting, rubble removers, take out, an extra cleaning lady – we were severely short on petrol and grocery money.
Then the TV packed up, and when I got stopped in a roadblock I realised the car’s license had also expired (I hadn’t been checking it). My dad wasn’t well and spent a couple of days in hospital, stressing my mommy darling even more than she usually is.
It felt like one of those weeks when everything just goes wrong! Nothing new, everyone goes through shite like this.
But I asked for help. I prayed for help. Amongst other things I didn’t know where I was going to get petrol money and the car was nigh on empty…

And then I got an invitation to spend the day at a social media event yesterday (Thursday), and part of the invitation was the use of a car. The car I was to use, and experience so that I could blog about it, was delivered on Tuesday night, with a full tank of fuel!
I didn’t get handed any actual cash, but I didn’t have to worry about putting fuel in my car for almost three days!
And my Glugster found someone who came and paid cash for the borked TV, and I got a couple of orders confirmed. Cash came in, meaning I could buy groceries and put fuel in the car.
And my daddy darling only spent two days in hospital instead of a week or more!
Prayers answered!

This week there was a lot for me to thank Him for.

The Beginning Of A Happily Ever After

On Saturday, Laura-Kim and David got married.

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It was glorious, and my Glugs and I were privileged to share the day with them!
Laura was just breathtaking in her ruffled gown!
My sweetheart and I held hands as we remembered our own vows during the ceremony.
We ate FAR too much cheese and too many bread sticks whilst the photos were taken.
We danced a Rumba and a Cha-cha and an East Coast Swing and a boogie, with a break between songs ‘coz we’re still very unfit, LOL…
We ate too much of the incredible food and thoroughly enjoyed the dessert and the photo booth!
Laura-Kim, her mom and her bridesmaids have spent MONTHS making bunting and searching for decor elements and punching confetti and they did all the setup and decorating at the venue themselves. There were HUGE fireplaces in every corner of the reception hall to keep us warm, and photographs of Laura-Kim, David and their children were on display all over the venue. And Imperfect Perfection was exactly the right venue for their nuptials.
We shared a table with several of our met-via-social-media friends but I had no phone or camera battery to commemorate the rest of the evening!

And this was my outfit! I found the dress for a jaw dropping bargain at PQ Clothing, and opted for boots instead of the red and black snakeskin Nine West heels I was going to wear. They were only slightly more comfortable, but they were a lot warmer!
And of course, I’d had my hair coloured and highlighted the day before thanks to an early Mothers Day present from my darling Glugster.

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Children With AD/HD And Friendship

I was reading Friendship Friday: When your Child struggles with friendship on Unwritten and she asked several questions at the end of the blog post:

  • Do your kids struggle with friendships? If so, how do you help them?
  • Do you assist them with nurturing their friendships?
  • How do you suggest I navigate the friendship issue with Child1?
  • Do you think that our kids learn  HOW to be good at friendship based on how WE are as friends?

My comment was long enough for a blog post so I thought I’d post it as such right here!

Children with AD/HD are- sadly- notoriously bad at maintaining friendships. They get home on a Friday and get so involved in self-indulgent weekend activities like PS2 or Xbox, they forget all about their friends (or girlfriends) who then assume they don’t care enough to make contact. On Monday the friends don’t want anything to do with them and the child with AD/HD has no idea why!
Many continue with this battle into adulthood- bosses, friends, girlfriends…
For one thing they do not read body language very well and don’t understand sarcasm or jokes. They take things very personally and over-react. Friends and family members will battle to understand this.
On another level, their immaturity annoys children their own age so they often gravitate to older kids who think they’re cute, or younger kids ‘coz they’re on the same “wave length”.
Because they like to be the centre of attention; “the boss of the game”; they battle to wait their turn; and more often than not are sore losers, other children are quickly put off playing games with them.
My recommendation, when asked, is to find a mom you can talk to (or make contact with someone you already know, obviously :) ) who has a child your own child might like, tell the mom of the other child about your child’s diagnosis and then arrange supervised, one-on-one play dates at your house.
This way you can keep an ear and an eye on the interactions without hovering too much, and you can use the play dates as learning opportunities for your child. How to wait your turn during board games, how to share, how to talk and laugh in company.
You can develop signals you can practice to use as social cues. Mine and my son’s were related to volume and channel controls on the TV, so I didn’t have to embarrass him. If he got too loud or obnoxious I asked him to turn the volume down a little. If he went off on a tangent I’d remind him that we had changed the channel and were now playing a different game or doing something else. In fact, we still use those little cues when we’re in company.
If the play date goes well, fantastic! Wash, rinse, repeat! If it doesn’t, you call the other child’s mom to fetch the friend and you try again another day.