SlutWalkJHB 2011 Done and Dusted!

On Saturday morning I was up bright an early, showered and shaved and made up a little, so I could get myself and my two men to SlutWalkJHB! I also had a cupcake order I had to finish for it to be collected, but that’s besides the point.

🙂

At about 9h45, my Glugster, my knucklehead and I climbed into our car along with my sister in law, Peaches- followed by sister C in her car with her baby L and stepdaughter D- and we headed for the Zoo Lake Sports Club. The weather was absolutely perfect for walking in IMHO, but not so great for scantily clad SlutWalkers unfortunately… I suck at estimating numbers, especially when it comes to people, but I think there were about a thousand people? I do wish there had been more, but I think the chilly weather really put a damper on people’s enthusiasm.

There were a whole lot of people we knew who we saw before, during and after the walk- MeeA, Jenty, Louisa, Marieks, Frankie and ExMi to mention a few. And of course I got to see and congratulate the inimitable Sass (you must go and read her speech so that you can hear why she took on Jo’burg SlutWalk, and so that the pictures of her quick-change will make sense) and some of her team and her helpers on pulling off the organising of the Johannesburg SlutWalk- Gina, Nadia and Ernst… At one point I was squealing and hugging and greeting so many people that my Glugster asked if I had invited everyone personally!

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I am really glad we didn’t make arrangements to do the walk with anyone, I would have felt really bad for anyone who hung back because they had to keep up with us! We started the walk about 3/4 from the front of the pack, but at one stage I looked behind me and all I saw was a police car! I very quickly told my sister C and my Glugster that we needed to pick up the pace a little! I made two posters for us to carry as we walked:

STOP TEACHING “DON’T GET RAPED” START TEACHING “DON’T RAPE

1 IN 4 IS NOT A STATISTIC – ITS A CRYING SHAME

I had every intention of taking pictures and Tweeting while we walked, but my darling Glugs and I very quickly knew we were going to do little more than focus on breathing as we walked, never mind chanting slogans and Tweeting! I gave my camera to my knucklehead and I think he did the SlutWalk 3 times with all the running up and down he did! He got some awesome photos though- most of the ones in the gallery at the bottom of this post are his. We made sure we were in comfortable walking shoes because I KNEW there was no way I would make that kind of walk in heels, as tempting as that was. There were guys doing the 3.7km walk in high heels though! It was fascinating to see what people had chosen to wear for the walk, and some of the posters were fanTAStic! I think the oldest SlutWalker was 80-something, and I reckon my baby nephew L was the youngest at 7 weeks old! The atmosphere was electric and you couldn’t help but feel energised by the people around you and the cars making a fuss as they drove past the column of people.

I was very proud to have been a part of something I think is so vitally important in our country- a call to stop blaming the victims of sexual assault- and my first ever protest march!

Brace yourselves bunnies, SlutWalk is going to be HUGE!!

I’ve uploaded photos to Facebook and to Flickr, and there’s a Flickr group where you can see photos from several other people too.

Ooh, and before I forget, through the team that coordinated and planned SlutWalk, I Said No was born. Its a site where victims of assault can tell their stories, anonymously should they choose to do so.

I Miss My BBF…

I miss her something awful.

This is a pity-party-post and I’m probably PMSing, but I am curious too.

You see, its kak not having my best friend around the corner to pop in for coffee.

Its kak not having her need me to have coffee with her coz she needs some time for just her.

Its kak not being able to help with the boys’  birthday cakes- not that she ever needed help in the kitchen mind you 🙂

Its kak not having her close enough to meet when I need to talk about something. Anything. Nothing.

Its kak not having her near me. Its kak not having my best friend here.

We talk on the phone most Sundays, and I love speaking to her, but its not the same. I miss long nights with too much wine. I miss our history. I miss singing ABBA duets at karaoke nights because we both love it. I miss the two of us going gallivanting together and leaving our boys with her hubby!

I read blog posts where people I know talk about how their best friends have helped them through some or other crappy or stressful situation… and  a part of me sulks because I don’t get asked for help, and another part of me is heart sore that I don’t have someone to ask.

execute-a-contract-2

How do you reach that point with someone new? When your bestest best friend of twenty odd years has moved far far away to make a better life for herself and her family, how do you make someone new your best-friend-to-have-coffee-with? How do you get to the point where you can start building a history with someone else, without feeling like you’re betraying your BBF? I mean, Gen (aka NMOTB) will always be my BBF, my BBBBFF. History like ours is rare and no-one will ever replace her… but how do you make someone new your go-to-girl when you haven’t grown into it like she and I did over 28 years? Is there a formal discussion, some kind of verbal agreement? After all, when you start dating a guy you eventually have to have the discussion that you are going to be exclusive, is it the same with a girl friend?

*I’m probably using this wrong 😛

My BBF Is Deserting Me!

Thassaright bunnies.

She’s taking her other half and my godsons and forking off to Oz!!!

I am so excited for her and for her family.

But at the same time, my heart is breaking!

You see, her hubby has an awesome opportunity to run a farm down under, and the boys will be able to go to school in the nearby town, and her hubby’s “package” includes a house! And it seems Gen will not even have to work initially, but she can if she wants or needs to. They’ll be close to the sea and to the mountains and living on a farm… the boys will be in their element!

And the miserable truth is they will probably- eventually, after adjusting- be happier and safer there.

Gen’s is one of the many unfortunate Sowff Effrikun families who’ve had all sorts of shirty crimes committed against them. Everything from being hijacked to her family being attacked in their own home! I came THIS close to losing them all… and I don’t blame them for leaving, I really don’t. Noises in their garden have both Gen and her hubby up and at the windows at all hours of the day and night. The kidlets are doing better now, after counselling, but loathe being home unless they’re behind several locked gates and alarm systems. It just breaks my heart.

So.

While I have actually avoided thinking about it most of the time… pretending that the packing and selling is for just another move… I have been thinking a lot over the last few months about our history. Do you know, in the almost 27 years we’ve been friends, we’ve never lived more than a couple of suburbs apart!? At one time our houses were counter-corner, and for a while we even lived in the same block of flats!

If I remember correctly, we met in about January 1982, when sister B started grade 1 and I started grade 3 at a new school, after our family moved to the suburbs. I actually met Gen’s late brother Jason first… he and his best buddy L (or was it M? L and M were brothers and I can’t remember exactly which one was Jason’s best friend) were walking behind us as we arrived at school and throwing berries at sister B and I. I turned around and Jason’s buddy pointed at him and said, with a Cheshire cat grin: “…he likes you…” I remember it like it was yesterday… we were kind of girlfriend and boyfriend for a little while. And through him I met Gen. In all honesty, I forget exactly how we met, but that’s irrelevant.

Gen was the tall tanned athlete with lots of friends. Netball, athletics, swimming, tennis, modern dancing, cricket scoring… Gen did it all.

Me? In am fairly short, and my skinny white pins and I stayed out of the sun as much as we could and I never did any form of sport unless I absolutely HAD to throw a discus or something for inter-house sports (participation was compulsory to begin with, until teams were selected). Oh, and I sang in the choir and I liked working in the library.

The two of us could not have been more different.

And we still are!

She’s still the tall, tanned, married with two super-sporting boys, sportswoman with colours in cricket, karate, pool and netball!

I’m still the short(ish), snow white, non-sporting, tattooed single mom.

We have totally different tastes in clothing, music, men, sport, books… you name it! But we’ve stuck together through thick and thin.

Yes, we’ve had our moments and once or twice we went for months without speaking- and we don’t spend our time in each other’s pockets- but when we hook up again it’s like no time at all has passed!

Holy crap tjomma… fot the wuck am I going to do without you!!?! Oh my word- I decided I wasn’t going to cry till we got to the airport… who was I fooling!!?!?

Hell tjomma… I have so many, many memories!!!

Like when the two of us were sent by my mommy darling to fetch my little sister C and da Bruvva out of the garden where they were playing in the mud- and the two of us, at prolly 12 years old- decided it looked like fun and joined them instead!!!

Playing at being school teachers, and breaking a lamp when we had a towel fight… I forget who got the blame for that one!

Remember how I was only allowed to have friends over on a Friday until 4? And just before 4pm, you’d start leaving- and then we’d stand at the corner of the garden and chat for another 30 minutes!!!! We still take forever to say goodbye…

And all the naughty shit we got up to as kids!

Like getting horribly drunk on Oyzo at the public pool, I swear that’s why I can’t drink Zambuca…

Letting your brother practice his cheerleading on us in the garden resulting in our Doberman biting him on the bum and ripping the pocket off his school shorts!

Sitting in your room listening to Depeche Mode and gossiping.

Remember the Rockies and the Himalayas?

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

You spending Friday nights at my house and going to youth group… and youth group wasn’t lekker anymore after a few years and we’d sit in the street outside smoking until we were picked up again! Why the fork we didn’t just stay home I’ll never know… and drooling over George at youth group camp… remember him, LOL?

Walking to the mall every Saturday morning and spending the entire day there with not a cent between us, trying on clothes in all the snazzy boutiques!!!

Drinking in the, erm, “bushes” with that slimey boyfriend of mine- lol… you were so right about him!!!

Remember you teaching me to smoke…? I was puffing for months before I plucked up the courage to inhale. I’ll never forget it! We were sitting on the back lawn of my folks’ house and you laughed your ass off when I got such a head rush I lay back onto the grass!!!

And getting pickled in the middle of the day and going to another friend’s house to sober up before going home and infuriating her mother in the process!

Ooh, and trying to buy draught beer for a party, and me panicking ‘coz I hadn’t done it before!!!

As grown ups the naughty shit stopped… but I have so many recollections of our time together.

When you told me you were seeing Mr NSNMOTB, you were so happy it was like someone had opened the blinds and let some light into your life! And when you phoned me to tell me you were pregnant, and I asked if I could be happy for you… I was so excited for you!

And decorating Ryan’s bedroom, both of us so excited by his impending arrival! Unpacking and repacking all his clothes and blankets.

And I will never, ever, forgive my previous employer for making it impossible for me to attend your wedding tjomma… my heart aches when I think about it and I would love to go back in time and change that.

Ooh- I just remembered our little adventure of returning the dress you got married in!!?!?

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay, so maybe not all the naughty shit stopped…!

Oh my goodness I am going to miss you so much.

And now I’m bawling again…

Gen, my life won’t be the same without you and your family. I cannot put into words how much I am going to miss our closeness- no matter how small the interweb makes the world seem.

So How Was The First BlogGirls Lunch?

I know you’re all just DYING to know!!! And I know my “report” on our date is late- but I wanted to make sure I got everything in!!

Well, first off, I was honoured to be part of the inaugural event. And it was truly a momentous occasion, bunnies- lemme tell you that straight up and on the record!

The lunch party- all seated at a big round table (how cool is that?)- consisted of myself, the inimitable Sweets; tiny Tamara from Doodles of a Journo; the gawjiss SleepyJane; the fantabulous Jackson Files accompanied by the darling Jackson himself; the beautiful MsMozi; and the mastermind behind the event- Phillygirl from Glad To Be A Girl.

And like WOW man- very VERY cool company!

Sweets and I- having been through this twice before, when we met each other and when we met Glugster- appeared a lot more nonchalant than we felt! We got hopelessly lost both en-route to ‘Nde Bush AND coming home (thank goodness for cigarettes, map books and gracious security guards). We were giggly and chatty in the car, wondering if we were going to be the only ones there and did we look okay and what everyone else would be like and would the conversation be easy or what!!?! Typical blind date stuff… even though it wasn’t technically a date, that’s what it felt like. I am so glad I had Sweets to “hold my hand”!!! I greeted Tamara first- as she and Phillygirl were seated at the table and waved Sweets and I over when we arrived- and I was stunned by how petite she is- I sort of expected her to be tall and imposing almost, being a journalist and all that! Phillygirl then subjected herself to a hug from me and we were all talking at once about how cold it was and how we’d gotten lost and and and! The place was almost completely empty when we arrived and for a while I thought we’d have the place to ourselves… but by 1:30pm it was packed! I think MsMozi arrived next followed by Jackson’s mom (and precious little Jackson) and last but by no means least, SleepyJane. And thank goodness Sweets and I weren’t the only ones who got lost!

Though I’ve been reading Tamara for a while, I must admit to not having visited MsMozi or SleepyJane before, and still pretty much lurking at Phillygirl’s place- but having met them I now want to visit and get to know them better! As for putting a voice and a face to Jackson’s mom- waaay cool!

What fun it was putting voices- and in a lot of cases faces- to blogs we all frequent. And nervous as we all were, the conversation didn’t let up at all- even when the food arrived! Much gluhwein, beer, coffee and coke was consumed and we ate like royalty lemme tell you- I highly recommend that there restaurant both for atmosphere and for good food. We discussed all sorts of aspects of blogging and how we’d all gotten started.

And I went armed with my camera, as usual, and was quite surprised to be the only one there with a camera! VERY un-blogger-like girls!!! And I didn’t even get pictures of all the food!!! NO pressure on me at all… ROTFLMAO

We laughed a lot and the afternoon wasn’t nearly long enough in my opinion! I have already signed myself up for the next one!!

I also had my towel with me- it was towel day after all…

p.s. girls, if anyone did not receive the photographs please let me know so I can resend them!

Ladeeeez…

We went to Co.fi again!
I don’t have the girl’s permission to post their pictures- but the five of us looked fabulously gawjiss, naturally!
I was informed early in the day by my friend and collleague “C” that I would be drinking a shooter each time one of thje girls griped about their other half, because I have nothing to complain about relationship-wise.
We regaled each other with some of our most embarrassing stories- Ydnic is particularly funny- we chatted about our kidlets, we laughed with and at each other, we danced a little. A groovy ladies night.
The picture shows most of the shooters we had- I didn’t take a picture of the “Bunny Boiler” and there were two rounds of tequila (gold with an orange half-slice and brown sugar). The “Strawberry” was by far mine and Ydnic’s favourite of the evening, and I love the “Jelly Baby”. The “Silky Panties” usually has a cherry in it- but I think the barman was a wee bit torched… apart from the shooters I stuck to beer- Black Label as always- and we drank LOTS of water as well. The water definitely helps keep you sober as well as avoid a headache if you are prone to them…
I got “home” to the the Glugster’s place around midnight, pretty much sober- despite the amount of alcohol consumed- just sleepy!
The Glugster went to the Lion-Bulls rugby game at Loftus with my daddy darling and my sister C’s other half, whilst I gallivanted with the girls. Glugs is a Lion, and my daddy darling is a Bull- as am I.
Apparently the Lions played on Friday night…