On Tweeting, Daddies And TTC

My daddy darling was back in CICU this week. On Monday night he had such a pain in his chest and shoulders that when he got to casualties again they thought his aorta was rupturing! His heart was beating so hard his body was vibrating- even though at one point his blood pressure was 115/35!!! They put him back in CICU and monitored him… and today he’s coming home even though they have no real reason for the pain in his shoulder. They first thought it was the build up of urea and creatine in his blood stream because of his lack of kidney function. Then they thought that it was due to his kidneys going berserk after the dialysis. They suggested clotting or arterial narrowing but found none. They also thought it may be a medication combination but have since ruled that out as well. Now they think it may be tendonitis with some thinning of the muscles inside the rotator cuff and have suggested he see an orthopedic surgeon next week. So still no answers…

The TTC is definitely continuing. Last Friday I practically attacked my poor Glugster when he walked in the door!! We are going for a series of blood tests this weekend- to check if I am actually ovulating, to check my Rubella immunity and to check mine and Glugs’ RH compatibility. The Rubella test is recommended if you’re trying to get pregnant because German measles is so dangerous for an unborn baby, and whilst the RH compatibility is usually done when you find out you’re preggers, I’d rather know about it before hand.

On Friday and Saturday morning our ovulation microscope was full of ferning- a sign of ovulation- and I was SO excited!!! And I am pretty damn sure I ovulated on Saturday… I woke up in pain and it eventually centered itself over my left side. I’ve felt it before- and I have associated it with ovulation- but I don’t feel it every month. I don’t get period pains in the traditional sense of the word, and if I have PMS it’s fairly mild… but I feel it when I ovulate. Sadly this made it a little difficult to enjoy Damien’s birthday party as much as I could have, and I actually went to bed leaving a few guests with my sweet Glugster. I wish I could have stayed awake, but I was really uncomfortable and sleepy…

Sunday morning I was fine again- though my Glugster was a little hung over… I think the poor dude is glad I am no longer “in heat”, I’m sure he would much rather have slept all of Sunday than have to, erm… pay attention to me!

Heh heh…

I am actually looking forward to having the blood tests done… and I think it’s the first time in my life I’ve said that! I am so hoping to make my Glugster a daddy.

As for Twitter, I’m back on it and loving it! I have missed it so much! And I downloaded Tweetdeck and I’m using that rather than Twitter itself. And I twitter on my phone which is friggin awesome!!!

It Was Over So Fast!

It was like I had no weekend…
Friday I spent driving around. I drove the knucklehead to school, then I drove to work (20km round trip), then we had a company karting thing in the middle of Pretoria, after which I drove to my mom’s place (in peak traffic)- prolly another 20km round trip. Then I popped in at the hospital to see my daddy darling before heading off to see friends of mine who I haven’t seen since I can’t remember when.
We didn’t get to chat much… there was a woman there who was highly entertaining- but who didn’t stop talking. And I thought I spoke a lot.
Whilst driving to my friend’s house, I decided I would not be driving back to the other side of Pretoria to fetch the knucklehead from the party he was attending, and that I would fetch him on Saturday morning. He was tickled pink, I was neurotic over leaving him somewhere that I hadn’t agreed with the parents or made arrangements for meds or anything.
Anyhoodle.
I picked up mommy darling on Saturday morning, then we fetched the knucklehead and his friend J, and then we visited my dad.
My intention was to take mommy darling out a bit for a change of scenery- but that didn’t happen when daddy darling’s kidneys started doing worse and they decided to do dialysis immediately.
I ended up bailing on BlogGirls to spend the day with mommy darling.
Later in the afternoon, when my Glugs had gotten home from his business trip, sister B arrived at the hospital so I went home to my man.
And then I started crying. I don’t cry easily, and I don’t cry in public. I never have. I just can’t. I have received flak for it as well because I come across as unfeeling to some people.
But when I’m home, in my own space, I cry.
And when I got home and started telling my Glugs all the details about my dad I cried.
And just for added excitement, I had the knucklehead’s first term school report as well (he’s on holiday now).
He has failed. Miserably. Again.
I cried about that too.
I told him earlier this year that if he failed I would not be sending him back to school. Especially after all the drama and his having to play catch-up…
I am now torn between my longing for him to at least have a grade 11, and my anger at his wasting my time and money!
Okay. I’m going to stop there. I feel a lump in my throat again…
On Sunday da Bruvva came over with my Nephew N and we watched the Melbourne F1 together. It was a mindblowing race, and if I get a chance I may do a race review a little later. Lemme just say for now, that this season is going to be VERY interesting!
And I am finally back on Twitter and feeling connected again!

9:30PM Daddy darling update. he’s much better tonight- sugar and blood pressure under control at last, kidneys working a little better so no dialysis tomorrow. He is a lot happier about everything than he was yesterday. Thank you for all the prayers, messages, emails and good thoughts.

My Own Personal Little Hell

My daddy darling had an angiogram this morning, and the result is that they will not be putting in a stent or doing a bypass as there’s no significant artery narrowing, incredibly. His blood pressure however, is still edging him towards another heart attack, and they have to get it under control. The doctor’s biggest concern is that his kidneys are failing. He will now have to stay in ICU until they get his kidneys right and they’ll probably have to do dialysis as well.

And he’s still in pain.

I am so worried about him and my mommy darling…

My little hell is complicated by my hay fever though. I could deal with almost anything were I not sneezing constantly.

I started taking the Luffeel on Monday. By Tuesday night I was sneezing insanely because I’d gone 2 full days with no Zyrtec.

People think I’m exaggerating when I try to tell them how much I sneeze and why I am on chronic medication to control it. I sneeze all the time. I sneeze so much that if I have a hay fever fit in the car I have to pull over because I can’t see where I’m going… I sneeze so many times and so quickly in succession that I can’t always draw a breath between sneezes. And if I try to take a breath I bite the side of my tongue or I choke. And heaven help me if I am eating or drinking something… usually I have enough warning that I’m going to sneeze, but occasionally one sneaks up on me. Actually- this is when I usually bite my tongue- because I’m talking or eating or drinking!

It’s so bad that even poor Glugs asked if I was sure I still wanted to go through with this.

And it doesn’t matter where I am either. I sneeze as much in my clients’ air conditioned building as I do at the hospital visiting my dad and at home in bed.

And I’m pretty damn sure I’m not supposed to be taking as much of this homeopathic stuff as I am… it says to dissolve 1 in the mouth 3 times a day, and in chronic cases 1 every 15 minutes for 2 hours. I think I’m taking one every hour at least!

I ache all over from sneezing. My head hurts most of the day. If I have a particularly violent sneezing fit my arms hurt too. My ribs feel bruised and whilst they don’t hurt when I breathe- they hurt when I laugh, when I blow my nose, and when I cough. My nose has taken on a decidedly Rudolph-like cast… even my top lip is chafed.

Last night my eyes started itching.

Oh joy.

I dunno what the maid has done with my new facecloth now either- I use a cold facecloth over my itchy eyes to relieve it a little and stop me rubbing them. Which I did in my sleep- so today I’m all puffy and I look like I’ve been crying!

I look like shit.

My Glugster is away on business till Saturday afternoon- so whilst I get to drive his cool car, I am home alone…

I am not a happy camper.

More Of My Aunty Liz’s story.

This piece, written by my aunt, is sort of a follow on to this post which my mom wrote.

A cancer diagnosis plunges one into a maelstrom of feelings. Focus changes from life “out there” to a whirlwind of new thoughts and new people in your life.

A new insular world evolves (not necessarily by choice) and your time is regulated by appointments with a range of professional people namely:-

Surgeon

Radiologist

Physiotherapist

Oncologist

Psychologist

Pharmacist and/ or pharmacologist

Prosthetist (when needed)

GP

Cancer Association

and somewhere in all of this, family and friends.

Conversation naturally tends to go to whatever is uppermost at the time, eg. Effects of surgery

Rate of recovery

Necessary exercises where appropriate

Next appointments

Concern re: chemotherapy

Effects of chemo

How to respond to “How are you?”

You’re emotionally at a low ebb and everything seems monumental. As we all cope in different ways, no one person gets through it all unscathed.

Cancer is a word not easily spoken by most people, so, often the topic (or person) is ignored. If you don’t know what to say- don’t cross the road, just squeeze a hand!

Often during recovery from surgery or while going through oncological treatment it becomes necessary to withdraw from normal activities. Be supportive at this time as it can feel as if one is isolated on an island and though often self sought, it is none the less lonely.

Coping with cancer (and all that goes with it) makes it difficult at times to remember that you need to LIVE with it, not give in to it.

Isaiah 60 verse 20

The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.

Oh Bunnies… I Am Not A Happy Cat Slave…

My precious Taxi, my li’l snickerdoodle, snooperpoodle, sweet tixanax… the furbaby who has slept on my chest, back, ribcage or on my pillow since he came home with me… my precious pudding who can’t just lie still and let me stroke him but has to jump up and arch his back as soon as I touch him… my brown eyed puddingpop who goes wherever I go…
My Taxi has tested positive for FeLV (feline leukemia virus).
It’s called leukemia because of the effect on the cat’s body, but it is a virus, and cats are routinely inoculated against it as kittens and most build up immunity to the virus.
Now I don’t know what to do.
Greebo has to go to be tested as well, and if he doesn’t have the virus, I have to separate them because Taxi can give him the virus with their grooming and sharing food and water bowls and toys.
But we’re all family… how am I going to do that!!?! Physically the only way to separate them is to lock one of them in my bedroom… and they’ve both always had the run of the house!
Or I can try and find a new home for Greebo… which also seems unthinkable as well!
There’s no cure, and treatment basically involves a careful diet, avoiding raw foods, maybe added vitamins, regular vet check ups and not going outside.
Well, not going outside is already sorted as both my boys are window watchers… and their diet has always been “watched” because I don’t want them getting fat.
But what it also means is Taxi is now susceptible to any and all bugs, and even small injuries may take long to heal and can get infected… it also means he’s going to go through phases where he will feel really shitty and not want to eat or drink.
I am going to fetch him this afternoon and take Greebo for his tests… and I’ll talk to the vet then too, but I’m in a flat spin about how to deal with this.