Don’t Wait!

Four years ago, I got a phone call in the afternoon, after a completely normal, even pleasant day.
I was told that my six year old nephew, with whom I had a deep bond, had been killed in a car accident.
I didn’t stop crying for days. It still seems surreal. It still seems too incredible that I will never again hear his voice or talk to him.
I know that a part of the reason I still feel his loss and his absence so keenly, is because I allowed the anger and bitterness I feel towards his guardians to prevent me from at least talking to him on a regular basis. I regret it. I wish I could change it. I wish I could honour his memory and his nature with love and forgiveness.

In the preparation for his memorial service, we were looking for pictures of him through the many we had. Pictures of him with his father, him with his cousins, him with us, and I found lots of wonderful pictures of him with my knucklehead, and even a few with him and I together. I wished there were more. Those pictures are my treasures.

I realised with a start, during that exercise, that I had maybe a handful of pictures of my knucklehead and I together, and he was already a grown up! I had mostly been behind the camera while he was growing up, taking the pictures, but as is typical of many women – I had avoided the camera because I was too fat, had no make up on, was taking the picture… Whatever. And now it was too late to take those pictures.
I wish I had taken those pictures, or had someone take pictures of me with my boy. Pictures with bot of our faces in them.
Now I take a selfie with my son, or I hand my phone-slash-camera to someone else, every time I see him. I love these pictures.

BeFunky Collage

I also take selfies with my family when I see them – my mom and dad, my sisters, my gran… To me the pictures are very special. I know not everyone sees photos as all that important, preferring to make memories rather than take pictures, but my pictures are a part of my memories and I look at them often.

I never part company with my son, or my husband, or my parents and siblings, without telling them I love them. I never want to feel the heartache I feel now because I didn’t talk to them enough.

Don’t wait to take pictures of you and your children together. Selfies are fun. Play silly buggers in a photobooth. Celebrate special occasions. Don’t wait till you’ve done your hair or you’re better dressed.

You can’t go back.

The Long Easter Weekend…

I was both looking forward to and dreading this long Easter weekend. I mean, who doesn’t like a four day weekend with a valid excuse to indulge in loads of chocolate and sweet treats!

So why was I dreading it? Because Saturday April 19th was the second anniversary of my sweet nephew Nathan’s death. I cannot put into words how much I miss that little boy… How much it hurts to think that I will never again be able to speak to him or hug him…
We didn’t do a lot on Saturday for Nathan, but there were images of Nathan showing on the TV, and we spoke about him through the day, and da Bruvva and my mom tidied up his little remembrance garden.

nathan

For Easter we joined da Bruvva and his family at my folks’ place, with our now nearly completely blind Riddick in tow. We had chocolate Easter eggs, iced Easter cookies and cold meat sandwiches on my Glugster’s fresh homemade bread. My sisters B and C and their families couldn’t make it – B was working and C and nephew L were sick as dogs, so it was a much smaller family Easter than is normal for us.
da Bruvva’s two little boys hunted their Easter eggs in the garden, and when the knucklehead arrived he had to go and find his too!
I’ll explain his late arrival shortly…
It was a peaceful, happy day.

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my knucklehead finding his hidden chocolate Easter bunny

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I made iced cookies for Easter

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my nephew E eating an iced cookie

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my daddy darling and my godson J eating iced cookies

One thing I really love about visiting at my parents’ house is being able to take my dogs with me.
My parents’ dog is a fox terrier cross and he and Riddick love playing together. He’s also very comical in that he will climb a tree to catch the “lights” – reflections from the sun catchers in the garden!

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sweet Riddick, worn out after a day of visiting and playing

So why did my knucklehead arrive at my mom’s house late? Because getting all three of us, Riddick the Lab, the cooler box full of food and drink and the Easter eggs to my folks’ house took two trips… In a Smart car!!
Why on earth are we driving a Smart? Its certainly not by choice… And we had family and friends alike in hysterics over this situation. With just my Glugster and I in the car its like a clown car!
We have been driving my parents’ old Merc for a while but its age and wear-and-tear were starting to make it really unreliable… So my Glugster traded it in for a Peugeot 407 which we were supposed to get last Thursday, and when it developed some issue that delayed its delivery they organised this Smart for us to use until the 407 is ready. Which will hopefully be by later today…

On Sunday afternoon my Glugster and I went to the movies! I can’t remember when last we indulged in Ster Kinekor’s lovenest seats for a big screen movie, but its been long enough that we were quite flabbergasted by the ticket prices! And while we were enjoying a bit of a date for the first time inabout a year, we found a photo booth! How cute is this strip I now have in my wallet!
I love this!
Its like the cheesiest, most old fashioned thing a couple can do!

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I also got to see my dear friends Sweets and Leeds this weekend, and seeing friends I care deeply for is always a bonus.

I hope you had a good Easter weekend too.

Holy Crap… Here’s A Monster Catch-up For You!

I swear this last week was a whole month long!

We have moved. We’re not far from the old house, but it feels like we are…
When we moved out of our house, it was painted, and it was clean. The floors weren’t spotless because of the moving and the painting, and the windows weren’t all cleaned, but the the cupboards were clean inside, the door handles and light switch covers were clean and I hired a rubble remover to take away ALL the leftover crap. The new house was not clean… I’ll leave it at that.
The signal in the new house is DREADFUL, as in, it sucks giant donkey balls. I have a little bit of 3G, and I can receive calls in the garage and next to my bed… But the rest of the time I am pretty much unavailable ‘coz there’s no reception!
The oven and hob were a challenge to say the least, but the agents have completely replaced it with – wait for it – A BRAND NEW ONE! Before we’d even been in the house a week, which is AWEsome!
Then on Sunday, the outside drains got all backed up, filling my garage with the stink of pee… Fan-fucking-tastic. Thankfully the agents were on the ball again and a plumber arrived this morning to snake the drain, so now it all just has to dry up so the smell will go away.
The satellite dish is misaligned somehow so we’re only picking up half the DSTV channels we should be able to see, and this morning the TV in the living room decided it didn’t want to have a picture anymore.

My knucklehead was a GREAT help when we moved, but he’s been home sick and nursing a sore ankle, and when we spend so much time together we do nothing but fight. It is beyond stressful.

My Blackberry is driving me up the wall! Not only does it HATE the new house – resetting itself every couple of hours – the touchscreen doesn’t respond like it should and its making me want to throw it against the wall! Even making a phonecall is a challenge.

And last week Thursday, late in the afternoon, I finally got our car back from the panel beaters, where it had been for more than three weeks, and then on Friday when I was rushing to fetch my Glugster from his bus stop and get to a SAGA event, I lost my temper with a tit at the garage who wasn’t moving, reversed in a huff, and hit a woman’s driver side door.

Fuck.

Can you tell its been interesting?

On the plus side, the new house is HUGE compared to the old house!

Our bedroom has a walk in closet and we have our own bathroom – with its own separate little geyser – and glass doors leading out into the garden.
The garden is big too and the dogs are loving it, and the birds are incredible! We’re going to put a Barbet log and a bird feeder and a bird bath in the garden and everything!
We’re almost finished unpacking too.
We’re happy here and I can’t wait to start having visitors.
Here’s a bit of a video for you, I’m not the best with a video camera and we’re still unpacking so the house is a mess 😀

Guide-dog puppy Lennox is a darling! He’s so smart and so cute! I have started a Facebook page for him, and I am blogging weekly updates like I did for Volt.

Our cats adjusted to the new house with no trouble and they’re loving all the bird watching they can do with the garden surrounding the house.
Thelma and Louise took a few days to settle and they weren’t eating well, but as soon as they realised they weren’t being abandoned again they were happy too.
My Riddick wasn’t at all phased by the move! He and Lennox kept each other company and they’re happy as long as they’re near us.

So how was your week!?

A Day With The Boys!

On Sunday, our nephews D and J (J is our godson too) came over to spend the day with us. We try to take J out for the day once a month or so, as he’s old enough now to come with us without his mom (he’s nearly six) and his mom has her hands full with our newest nephew E, so a little bit of “free” time for her is a bonus!
This Sunday, we fetched J and then picked up D and brought them home with us to swim and play.

copy 20130224_IMGP5960J loves baking and cooking and measuring so we made a toffee caramel that meant lots of measuring and then stirring on the stove as it boiled. D did most of the hot stirring as J is wary of the stove, and then we stuck it in the fridge. I dunno if I used the wrong sugar or we added too much syrup (anything’s possible) but our toffee wouldn’t set enough for me to cut it into squares… It was no problem for us though, we just scooped spoons full of it all afternoon!
The boys swam, had more fun than I could possibly have imagined with a couple of empty 2L Coke and Sprite bottles, played with Riddick, played Lego and watched Lilo & Stitch.
We had hot dogs for lunch and the boys swam some more.

Copy 20130224_IMGP5996And some more!
Copy 20130224_IMGP5995At about 5ish, J’s mommy came to pick up both boys so they could head home for bath and supper time and get ready for school.

Our next day with him we’re planning to head to a zoo, we just don’t know which one. Joburg (huge), Pretoria (huge and pricey) or Lory Park (small and cheap)… Any recommendations?

Happy Birthday And Welcome Baby!

Our family welcomed a new member last week!
My brother’s new baby, E, was born on January 10th 2013. He weighed 2.86kg and he is just so beautiful and so perfect. We went to meet him the day after he was born and we were all quite smitten.

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its a dreadful picture because I forgot to check my settings before attempting a photo in the dark ward

It was a bit of an up and down day though… We were so happy and excited to be able to welcome baby E into our lives and our hearts, but we still hurt so much from the loss of E’s big brother, Nathan. And it is so heart sore that E will never know him.

Baby E does have a really sweet big brother who is very proud of his new title! Almost 6 year old J is so cute and so smart, and my Glugster and I are his godparents!
He visited us this weekend past without his mommy for the first time and we had so much fun! We baked cupcakes, the boys swam, he played with the puppy, he played PS2 with his cousin the knucklehead, and he got to know the knucklehead’s beardie, Spike.
He loved the baking part- cracking eggs like a pro- but the decorating isn’t the best part for him. He’s a right little fish too- he’ll swim all day if you let him! And he thinks his big cousin D is just awesome!

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We’re really glad he’s happy to spend time with us without his mommy because we love having him around, and there’s a lot we want to do like take him to Sci-Bono (at the end of the month) and the zoo! And of course spending time with him gives his mommy a break and focuses some attention on him which is important when there’s a new baby competing for the spotlight and mommy’s time at home.