My Baby Boy Turns 25 Today!

Today, my baby boy celebrates his twenty fifth birthday.

When I realised just how grown up you are, I literally stopped dead in my tracks. Its actually had me tearing up thinking about it! How silly is that! ūüėÄ
You changed the world as soon as you entered in, and you made sure to keep changing it. Time flies so fast, and you have grown up to be an amazing young man, but you will always be my baby.

I wish I was more eloquent a writer, so I could do a blog post here that does you justice, so I could share with people just how hard you’ve worked and how you are well set on a fantastic career in something you are passionate about. How wonderful you are with your cousins – all younger than you. How you love spending time with your family.

We are so very proud of you. Enjoy your day, my knucklehead. Stay as sweet as you are!

My Knucklehead, The Professional

Yesterday I could have burst with pride, and thinking about it makes me so happy I could cry!

I watched as my boy calmly and confidently led a group of people through a “discover scuba” experience. The one young woman had a one-on-one session and even though she is physically disabled and wheelchair-bound, she said she felt completely secure with him and had an amazing time under the water.

Sigh… Still can’t get over how grown up and mature he is…

Is There Such A Thing As Mommy Limbo…?

I read quite a few mommy blogs.
I have many friends who have young children, and they blog frequently about being a mom to those children.
I belong to a mommy bloggers Facebook group.
I am a mom.
But I’m a mom to a grownup who doesn’t live¬†here anymore, and most of my blogging is now about my dogs

There’s no more school run, homework drama, PTA meetings,¬†parents evenings, or doctor’s visits.
There’s no more OT, fundraisers, play dates, speech therapy, or fighting with teachers over my son’s ADHD.
There’s no more arguments with him over taking his meds, us fighting over everything, or panic when the phone rings (well…¬†almost).
His school life and growing up was hard. His ADHD diagnosis complicated his school life, his home life, his friendships, our family life… Beyond comprehension for people who don’t live with it. Everything was hard work.

And now I feel like my mommy duties have been suspended.

My son is doing really well at the moment.
He’s matured so much in the last 18 months, and he’s worked his backside off – on his own –¬†working and studying! He’s doing an internship where he’s getting an internationally recognised qualification and he’s learning the business around it.¬†It’s really hard work, and the final leg he’s in now has him stressed, but he’s doing it. On his own.
We pay his rent, we buy his groceries and we’re paying for his courses, but unlike the school fees I felt like I was wasting, he’s actually thriving and he wants to do this and do it well.

I only see him a couple of times a month, when I insist on getting a #mamalove selfie to try and make up for how few photos I have of the two of us together, and he doesn’t need me right now.

He needs groceries, but he doesn’t need me to take on belligerent teachers who refused to accept that he had a special needs diagnosis and required extra attention and was allowed extra time during tests and exams.

He needs cigarette money, but he doesn’t need me to take on the bullies who loved to pick on him because he gave them the kind of reactions that feed a bully’s ego.

He needs electricity money, but he doesn’t need me to drive him to endless doctor’s appointments for prescriptions and therapies, that sometimes made me feel like I was stabbing myself in the eye.

He needs us to pay for his trips, but he doesn’t need me to help him with his homework and stock up on stationery.

He’ll probably come back and live at home once he’s finished his internship, while he looks for work and a place to stay, and we’ll probably fight like cat and dog while he’s here, but I will never again be a mom to a little boy who needed me for everything…

Edited to add:

Make no mistake, I am a very happy mom.
I have time to indulge in my hobbies and learn new things. I have learned how to crochet, I have a few grown-up colouring in books. I can be a full time wife to my darling husband. I can work with my dogs.
And I love seeing my boy! We have actual WhatsApp conversations! I miss him like mad, and I am so proud of him.

Mama Pride Overflow

The weekend past was full of tears. Most of them though, were happy.

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Sadly we¬†weren’t there to see him get his certificate, but our Damien has qualified as a Dive Master!

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For those not in the know – and as I have learnt – its an intense course and means at least 60 dives, a full physical, a series of fitness tests, skills tests, several exams and courses requiring at least an “A” to pass each one and leading at least 5 dives.

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He did all this while working six long days a week and living away from home Рwhich meant he had to look after himself- doing his own housework, laundry, cooking and cleaning Рand he had to discipline himself to study and revise his course work in preparation for his exams.

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He’s healthy, happy, tanned, he’s smoking less, he’s getting to travel a bit,¬†and I only hear good things from his employers and instructors.

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Man… I’m in tears again just thinking about how much he’s achieved.

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I am so proud of him I could burst.

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He’s changed and grown and matured so much. We have actual conversations¬†on WhatsApp and when we spend time with him, like for his birthday, he chats to everyone and tells them about his work and his dives.

The next big qualification is Dive Instructor Рanother set of courses and another 40 or so dives (he has to have 100 to finish qualifying), along with working full time and being a grown up, and he should finish that by the end of this year.

My child is happy.

MY CHILD IS HAPPY!!

Songs from My Childhood

I grew up with music playing all the time.

Thanks to my darling parents the soundtrack to my childhood included Uriah Heep, Jethro Tull, The Stones,¬†Led Zeppelin, Elton John,¬†Cliff Richard, The Beatles, The Who, Steppenwolf, The Small Faces, The Monkees, Janis Joplin, The Carpenters, Boston, Neil Diamond, Jesus Christ Superstar… My mommy darling also loved Motown so my musical education was vast and diverse.
The list of artists I grew up listening to is¬†a long one, as was my mom and dad’s vinyl collection and we played it to death.

My grandad also played several instruments including the mouth organ, so family occasions often turned into sing-a-longs with Christmas hymns, big band classics like I’ve Got a Gal in Kalamazoo, Chattanooga Choo Choo, and wartime songs like Wish Me Luck, Begin the Beguine and You Are My Sunshine.

And then there is a collection of children’s songs my mom sang to us, that¬†I sang to my son as he was growing up.¬†Here are a few of my favourites (I can’t find the versions I grew up with, but these are close)…




Did you grow up with music?

Do you sing to your children?