Being Peri-Menopausal, and Pissed!

Why in fuckity does nobody talk about this insanity, except in jokes!?

Fair warning – if you find bodily functions TMI – especially the female kind – you may want to read something else today.

I have blogged about getting older and being peri-menopausal before, here and here, but today I am especially baffled by why I was never warned about this properly!
Growing up – depending on your family, and your culture – you will most likely be taught about “the birds and the bees”, and periods, and how your body will change.
Someone will give you a book, or someone will talk at you while you cringe and blush – but they stop talking when they get to the part about having babies, and how not to have babies!

WHY!??!?! The first time most women find out anything about being peri-menopausal is when they’re right in the thick of it!
The only time you hear about peri-menopause on TV or in movies, is when someone whispers about a woman “going through the change”, or jokes about hot flashes. The peri-menopausal women are portrayed as crazy and best pandered to, or avoided entirely. And they are often depressed about about becoming menopausal.

To be honest, for many women peri-menopause can be an insane period,* and you don’t have to be over 50 to experience it – I had just turned 36 when this shit show started!
For almost 10 years now, I have alternated between a crazy unpredictable menstrual cycle, having no period at all for a few months, and then having a few periods where I bleed like a stuck pig. Thank heavens I work from home – I can’t imagine going through 4 pairs of panties in a single morning whilst being office-bound!
This after my monthly visit from Aunt Flo has been a breeze all my life – I never had crazy cramps, or serious PMS, or any other complications!
As if that isn’t enough to push me to the brink, add to it that when I’m not having a period, I go from feeling like I have a furnace in my head, to having palpitations, lightheadedness, and vertigo. Then I have night sweats for a few days, where my hair and pillowcases will be drenched in sweat as soon as the sun goes down. I’m an emo, stabby bitch FAR more often than I would care to admit, and I suddenly have high blood pressure, when it has been low my WHOLE life.
AND my libido has taken a nose dive. That REALLY bugs me.

Before you ask – I’m not using any kind of hormone replacement therapy because of the prevalence of cancer in my family, and because most days I am pretty much fine.

I am actually looking forward to finally being menopausal though, because that means this crap is finally done with – but that is at least a year away. Again. It looks like my shrunken ovaries are determined to push their luck as much as they can!

*pun intended

Hooking For Fun!

Hooking… as in crochet! 😀

I am a hooker! 😛

When I was pregnant with my knucklehead, my mommy darling taught me to crochet and I added pretty edges to a whole lot of his receiving blankets (none of which I kept), and then I never did it again!
Then a couple of years ago I found a crochet magazine on a supermarket shelf, and decided I wanted to learn to read patterns – the written patterns and the picture patterns! I started about a year ago, suffered through crazy muscle cramps, and then stopped for months!

Then late last year, I found a gorgeous join-as-you-go flower pattern in the Simply Crochet magazine, and decided to make my mommy darling a Christmas present! Its a snood! <3

In late November, after being blinded by the late afternoon sun in my kitchen for years, I found some wool on special that is quite hard and string-like, and made a little curtain with hearts in – I made it up as I went along! And I already had a window blind rail in the kitchen window from previous tenants, so I added loops on top to fit the rail clips!

Then in December, I decided I needed a decent Christmas tree-skirt, instead of using my red table cloth! This was another made-up-as-I-went-along piece, but I did use some patterns to make the applique decorations that I added when it was done.

Here are some of the squares I have made! Every time I find a pattern for a granny square or an afghan square I try one and add it to my collection! Then I found a pattern for a huge, gorgeous, floral square called “Charlotte” and decided I need to make one as a centrepiece, with all my squares added to make a brightly-coloured blanket… And then I found one called “Cosmic” and now I can’t decide!! 😀

I also made some “regular” granny squares as I was learning to read the patterns, and I have joined them together to make bigger ones, but I haven’t “blocked” any of the squares yet – this is where you pin them down in a board to gently stretch them into the right shape.

I am LOVING Moogly, Ravelry, and the Crochet Crowd for patterns and tutorials!

Are you a hooker? Like, for fun? 😛

Being a Proud Geek at #ComicConAfrica2018

Dear Oliver Roberts (if that is your name),

Today I read your article about Comic Con Africa in the Sunday Times Review, and to say I was offended is putting it -ing mildly.
But as you yourself noted, we geeks are a polite bunch, though your article has got our backs up, to say the least.

I went to Comic Con last Sunday, dressed as a fat old witch. My costume wasn’t complicated, or difficult to put together since I am already a fat old lady, but I chose my costume because Nanny Ogg is my favourite character from one of my favourite series of books, written by the inimitable Sir Terry Pratchett.
Had I identified more with Ayla from Jean Auel’s Earth’s Children novels, I could have gone to Comic Con dressed in a fur bikini and a long blonde wig, without a second thought as to whether or not I could pull it off in your eyes.

Comic Con is different things for different geeks, let me see if I can give you a wee bit of insight…
For serious cosplayers, the challenge is in making and competing in their costume, and they spend MONTHS in preparation. And at Comic Con they get to see professional cosplayers and attend workshops about making costumes.
For many of us its just fun to dress up and pretend to be someone else for the day, and not all costumes are handmade, but those who do go in costume LOVE to be recognised and photographed- if you ask first, of course.
For the gaming geeks, its about the games, and the “expensive keyboards and monitors” and new releases and watching professionals compete.
For the collectors, its about the comics and the “absurdly expensive figurines” and the “framed posters signed by the entire cast of Big Bang Theory”.

I’m not sure why you agreed to attend Comic Con Africa at all, Oliver, perhaps you weren’t given a choice, but whatever the reason you went to report on it, you clearly left your journalistic integrity at home.
You wrote that at Comic Con, “everyone is free to be themselves, without any fear of ridicule or scorn”, yet you were incapable of the same attitude.
It makes me sad to think that people who didn’t get to Comic Con this year may be put off attending the next one because of your article.

This world really would be a far better place if more people behaved like geeks do, and like we do at Comic Con, if our acceptance and tolerance and polite optimism were indeed the pervading energy on this planet.

Part of me hopes you will attend next year, and go in costume to try and have fun.
But if you can’t be more like us, then rather stay at home.

Being More of an “Old Lady”

If you read THIS POST, you’ve already read about how when my now 27 year old son* was growing up, we had many, MANY conversations about sex, PMS, and babies, and more recently, a chat about menopause, and mood swings.
Because I am peri-menopausal.
Yup.
Officially old.
For about two years already.

Fokkit.

My cycle started going bezonkers in 2010 already, after being a perfect 25-day countdown for years, and its only gotten worse… I highly recommend downloading an app, BTW!

The forgetfulness, peri-menopausal the brain fog, is REAL!

So for about eighteen months I battled crazy night sweats – literally waking up with my pillowcase and my hair drenched with sweat. The sun went down, and I started sweating. I took to sleeping with a frozen 2L bottle of water at my feet, and our aircon was on ALL the time! My poor hubby!
And I was SUPER emotional for a while, but I think that has gotten better… I still cry almost every day over losing my daddy darling, and my precious Riddick – although that is real heartache over my loss, not just menopausal emotions…

The night sweats seem to have stopped, but they were replaced with hot flushes! Think of every cliche you’ve ever heard about hot flushes – they are spot-fucking-on! It feels like I’m blushing, but furiously! Thank goodness its short lived, but it happens several times a day and night! I literally strip my shirt off as fast as I can!

And just for fun, for about a month now, I’ve been battling little bouts of crazy lightheadedness and vertigo. Several times a day I get dizzy, to varying degrees. Sometimes its mild, but sometimes it feels like I am going to fall off my chair!
I think I would happily have the night sweats back if I could get rid of the dizziness!

All of it drives me nuts!

And I have to marvel at how life changes… Currently, “Aunt Flo” is the latest she has ever been – more than two weeks. My poor menstrual app has no idea what to tell me, and the other day my Glugster and I had a little chat about how we’d feel if we discovered we were going to have a baby.
The likelihood is zero – been there, done that, paid the specialists to tell us so – but we realised that its not what we want anymore. I mean, I’m going to be 45, the knucklehead is all grown up, AND we have ZERO medical aid this year! 😀

 

*What the hell!??! My son is heading for thirty!!!

Being Concerned About Children’s Pictures Becoming Memes

Picture it. You are scrolling through your Facebook or Twitter feed one morning, while you sip your first cup of coffee, and suddenly… there’s a face you recognise.
Its an image that has been shared by a Facebook “friend” you have only a vague memory of meeting or ever speaking to, who found it on their friend’s feed – someone you don’t know at all.
Its been liked, and commented on, and shared numerous times already by this friend’s friend’s friends – never mind the attention it got when it was posted on The Divine Side Of Parenting, or the Dads Who Babysit Badly Facebook page*.

Its your child’s face!

It’s YOUR child!

Its the picture you took before cleaning up the mess he had made, ‘coz it was so typical and funny and you knew your family would get a laugh.
Its the picture you took because your little princess looked so cute all pink and smiling on her tiptoes after her bubble bath and you knew her granny would love it.
Its the picture you took ‘coz they were smiling in an especially cute way, like they had just been mischievous and your timing was perfect.

And now it has a caption on it. In bold white text.

There are quite a few very well known memes on the internet that are made using pictures of children. They have many different captions ‘coz there are some very clever and funny people in this world. Some of those captions are mean and crass and offensive.
And they are on the internet forever.
You’ll know them if you see them (I have deliberately blurred the images so they won’t be shared yet again). Do you think their parents shared them as memes, or in the hopes they would become memes? What about when these children are Googled by prospective employers one day? The internet doesn’t go away. It can’t be deleted.

You’ve seem them before, haven’t you? You may even have commented on them, liked them, and shared them and thought nothing of it.

Think before you post pictures of your children online. It doesn’t matter if your Twitter feed is private, or what your privacy settings on Facebook are – they are changed all the time, nothing is safe.

And remember that pictures of naked and semi-naked children are considered child pornography when posted online in South Africa. Yes – even babies, and yes – even when posted by the child’s parents.

And I don’t give a crap how justified you think your cause is – you may NEVER post pictures of someone else’s naked children without their permission!
It was an incident exactly like this that got me onto this subject today – a woman photographed a naked child, and shared it publicly on Facebook because she didn’t like the circumstances under which the child was naked – she was all “I won’t rest until I find out what was going on…” and “I won’t rest until I find this child’s parents…“.
This is not how you take action, FCOL. How dare you.

*not actual Facebook pages

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