You Go Girl

This is a very small part of a really great story.
A friend of mine (from here on referred to as “C”) has a little boy who’s just turned one. She has just won her court battle and will now be receiving R1K/month maintenance with no visitation. She says it’s the toughest thing she’s ever had to do, and things got quite nasty in the process, but she’s happy now and a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders.
So think about it, there are so many more single mom’s now than there were, say, twenty or thirty years ago. Nowadays it’s considered old fashioned to get married JUST because you’re expecting, in fact, it seems couples are more likely to split than to get married when there’s a baby coming.
Purely from my own personal observation of friends and family, the difference today is that while a lot of married dad’s are getting more and more involved with their children than they were thirty years ago, so too, more and more “unwed” fathers are walking away – because they can. It’s like its become acceptable for the father to ignore the child as long as both parents agree on it, or as long as maintenance is paid… is it because its easier to do it alone than to have to deal with an ex? Do biological ties count for nought in our modern times? And yes – before you yell, I include myself here.
I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have the complication of and ex when I see what a hard time some people have with theirs – BUT – my child doesn’t know everything about where he came from… sometimes I wish he DID know his father just so he could have someone else to be mad at.
Anyhoo, any one of us who is responsible for a child can vouch for what it costs financially – let’s just jump right over the emotional cost for a second – coping on one salary is all but impossible. If you do get maintenance, it’s usually not enough, but here’s the thing: “C” is proof that you should stick to your guns and do the whole lawyer/court thing – IT CAN WORK!
It’s way too late for me now, and since I chose this life, I am not complaining, but – if you’re new to this solo act, and if you can, then I say do everything in your power to get what your child’s father owes to his child (‘coz he doesn’t owe it to you).
Me – I feel that single motherhood has been “glammed up” by rich celebrities who decide to rescue” some poor little orphan because their biological clock is ticking and because they can afford it. It creates a wholly false perception of what it does to a child to be in a single parent family – no matter how much money you have.

This Is Me, Speechless!

How proud can one mother be!

It was my son’s first national competition and he finished 12th out of 30 gymnasts.

I was sitting in the grandstands with my mom, brother and sister in law next to me. Me with my heart in my throat and my stomach full of these GIANT butterflies… I can’t imagine how he must have been feeling! There I am, watching my son, and I’m wishing I could talk to him– just quickly, to remind him to keep his legs and arms straight, to keep his feet together, to look straight in front of him, that I could somehow give him a tip on how to ignore everyone around him so he doesn’t get distracted (like I haven’t already said it all.) I wondered if he’d got enough sleep, if he’d eaten enough, if he was drinking enough water, if I’d been supportive enough without putting unnecessary pressure on him. I wondered what his coach was telling him, was the coach any help? I was so hoping he’d have fun… “Oh please– please– please– let him bring a medal home. Maybe I can ask them to give him a special one ‘coz he’s so special, no that’s ridiculous, oh hell– maybe I should have just stayed at home!”

Is this just me– how on earth do other moms deal with things like this?

Anyhoo, the knucklehead is really proud of himself. He competed with the top 30 in the country and he’s ready to try again next year. I think maybe next year I’ll get me some tranquilisers or something…
I thank God every day that I can give my son the opportunity to do what he’s good at.

the tension!

Its the knucklehead’s biggest ever gymnastics competition tomorrow- the national gymnastics games for pre-level to level 3 and last year he JUST missed qualifying for nationals.
I am trying very hard to be calm for his sake, but I’m nervous as hell. I am doing everything in my power not to think about Saturday because when I do its instant butterflies!
But it IS a national competition!
I CANNOT imagine how he must be feeling, he seems remarkably calm to most people, but I know him well enough to be able to tell the difference between his nervous silence & just plain calm…
But it IS a national competition!
The competition is huge logistically too, over 1000 gymnasts competing in just 2 days. I must say to the organisers credit, they do remarkably well keeping everything on time and on track.
I pray for the knucklehead’s sake that he’ll do well, maybe even bring home a medal. But I don’t want to say anything because his disappointment when he doesn’t get one is palpable! At the same time – I don’t want him to think that I’m not supporting him when I don’t say anything about medals…
But it’s a national competition!

Okay, So My Jaw Was On The Floor!

Sunday’s total F1 farce by far overshadows the Michael Schumacher debacle of a few years ago- in Austria I think it was- where Rubens Barrichello had to move over for Schumacher at the last moment and made it so glaringly obvious what he was doing.
It will also live for a very long time in the memories of F1 fans and critics alike.
And I’ll wager the whole debacle will be partly blamed on Ferrari anyway- because the demand for a chicane on turn 13 made by the Michelin shod teams was neither opposed nor supported by Ferrari. “They” will say again that the FIA panders to Ferrari and to Michael Schumacher. This is of course the anti-F1 contingent’s favourite argument!
Granted, seven of the ten teams boycotting the race gave Ferrari the ideal opportunity to catch up a little in this season’s point standings. But that’s not the kind of racing I like to see. This season has been hugely disappointing for us Ferrari fans but it has been an exceptionally exciting season none the less.
I feel that the Indianapolis “hiccup” could have and should have been handled differently by all involved. Indianapolis was re-surfaced. Michelin knew this so maybe they should have done more testing to ensure they had the right tyres for the day. Maybe the FIA should have made a
plan to put in a chicane on turn 13, given the accidents during qualifying- especially since they had the time to do so. Or maybe the cars should even have raced- slower than usual and for no points since I think that would have been just as damaging for the teams. Too many “maybes”…
My bottom line is this- safety first- i think I would rather remember this race for the farce that it was than for a driver having been killed on the day.