I Think I’m Allergic…

To human leeches that is. Apparently I have a sign on my forehead that says “unload emotional crap here”… Lord, give me strength. I know I’m not the only person on the planet to experience this, but here goes anyway, I have a friend who I love dearly, but she’s a “leech”. What I mean by leech- she is never, ever, ever fine. She always has something to complain about. If it’s not her back, it’s her sinuses, or her cramps, her lack of money, or her job, or the men in her life that give her a hard time… geez, give me a break! She’s a single mom, like me. Her son sees little of his father, my son doesn’t know his. She battles financially, helloooo- who doesn’t? She can’t have everything she wants, SO FRIGGIN WHAT. Right now I feel like screaming at her SUCK! IT! UP!

Then, whenever she’s at her lowest, she cries on my shoulder! She asks my advice when the latest man she decided she REALLY liked has walked out on her. Again. Then she flat ignores my advice. I know she comes to me because she wants someone to feel sorry for her, but I’ve never been “soft” with her, I am brutally honest- probably in a vague attempt to make her leave me alone by being mean to her. But she seems to love it when I shit her out! I know this doesn’t sound very Christian of me at all, but right now I REALLY need to vent! I cannot explain how she drains me. I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve made plans to do something, and she’s bailed on me at the last minute. AAAAAARGH! It’s reached a point where I don’t want to open her emails or answer her phone calls.

But God won’t let me. No, really. It’s like he’s yelling at me when I try to ignore her. She’s on my prayer list everyday, she’s on my house church’s prayer list (and every week I invite her to go with me, as tempting as it is to “forget” to ask her). Every week I remind her what time I’m leaving to go to church, and sometimes I take her son with me. I don’t nag, or preach at her (‘coz I can’t stand it when people do that to me), I just mention that I’m going to church, or to house church. She reads her bible, she prays, and does a bible study of a sort on her own, she even sends me passages she thinks I might find relevant or useful, and I send her stuff too. But her “poor-me-nothing-is-my-fault” attitude drives me insane! I can’t help resenting her and feeling she’s a hypocrite, and then I feel bad and silently apologise- to her and to God. Today, I feel like I want someone else to look after her now. I don’t want to anymore. I’ve had my share of kak, I’ve been around the block, and back… it’s not like my life is a picnic, but it doesn’t seem to occur to her that other people also have a hard time sometimes.

I’ll keep praying for me to be patient, and for her to be okay, and on Saturday I’ll tell her I’m going to church on Sunday… I already feel better- I just had to get this off my chest!

Ready! Aim! Fire!