Last night, I think for the first time since I got it, I did NOT switch on my laptop at home. Normally I do this every night after supper- then I read and reply to my emails which I downloaded at work (can’t sit and read them at the office ‘coz they also want to go home*) Then I also write a little and read anything I might have saved during the day with the intention of reading it later. And I play a game or two* whatever takes my fancy. But since we only walked in the door after seven, and with cats to feed and school bags to prepare I figured that if I switched on my laptop I’d get nothing done and I’d get to bed late! Is this progress? Some would say yes- since it implies I have a small inkling of self control* Yesterday Damien finished gymnastics at 6pm, and since we were both tired and hungry we went to Wimpy for supper. I had steak, egg & chips and Damien had a burger. We shared a waffle and cream for pudding. It was a real treat coz I can’t remember when last we had money to go out to eat! I WAS horribly bored yesterday- but I won two prizes from Appletiser which helped a little to brighten my mood- I won a haircut (unfortunately no salons near me are redeeming the prize so I’ve got to make a plan) and I won a “two for one” meal that I can claim from several restaurants that are close to me!
My bestest best friend is in Las Vegas with one of my three godsons. He is taking part in a karate tournament there. She seems to be having a jol and I so wish I could be there with her. They left here on Monday night 8pm SA time, and arrived in Las Vegas 2am Wednesday SA time, but Las Vegas time it was Tuesday 5pm! Boggles the mind! This is where jetlag sets in- it’s probably the longest Tuesday of their lives!! I am so proud of my godson- he has done so well! And G has already tried the slot machines in Vegas and she won! That makes their trip a little easier ‘coz they spent several months collecting money to pay for the whole trip- the visas and passports alone cost a fortune! It only occurred to me the day they left (I was sick with a tummy bug and couldn’t even say goodbye at the airport) that I might have been able to rig up a “paypal” button to help with the fundraising! Ook maar lekker dof nê!
And more than Thursdays I hate being bored! When I’m bored I have a tendency to eat and drink too much coffee. And when I say eat I mean anything and every thing. And right now at work I am bored. Not dreadfully so- I get little projects sporadically through the day- but I am not busy all day. It’s reached the point where I look forward to meetings because I may get something to do! Mainly because there’s stuff that needs doing that I don’t know how to do yet- and because the yoghurt shlurper I share the office with does not know enough about his job yet to keep me busy… Does anyone know where I can go to get plugged in and programmed Matrix style? The result is that my time sheets look too dreadful- I have to log everything I do so my clients can be billed, and I have to log at least 8,5 hours everyday on our computerised system. This means “empty” time as well- time my client can not be charged for. I have never liked not knowing things- I have always made it a point of learning everything so I can do things myself. Lord give me something to doooooo! PLEEEEEEEASE!
First- I saw C last night for the first time since her car accident on Saturday night. I also saw photographs of the car. C said she doesn’t really want to complain about being sore after seeing what the car looks like- they really are lucky to have come out of it alive. She’s bruised and sore all over and she can’t sit or lie comfortably because where she isn’t bruised there’s a nice graze to make up for it! She went back to work today for the first time too- I hope she’ll be okay. Her pain medication really zones her out so if she has to take any at work there are going to be some really funny telephone calls and some very confused clients! Second- I have made a nice big dent in a lot of the debt I accumulated this year- not all, but a lot. I had to borrow money to do so but now at least I can pay back the loan i.s.o. all the different accounts. I’ve rid myself of enough that I don’t leap three feet into the air every time the phone rings! I am determined to get rid of it all by April next year so I can move into a ground floor flat/townhouse (preferably my own one) by July 2006. and I really need to make a plan soon- Damien’s new uniform and art course requirements for next year are going to cost me a packet! Never mind Christmas… And third- All mine and Damien’s blessings! If I really sit down and make a list- its shocking how little I have to complain about. And God has spent an awful lot of time telling me to be patient and stick with His plans i.s.o. allowing my own plan’s failures to drive me to the brink of madness. I am rather “anal” when it comes to planning things in advance (I have said this before) and when those plans fall off the bus I nearly lose it completely! I really need to start taking it easy and listening closer when He tells me something.
When last did you sit down and take a good look at your “haves” i.s.o. worrying about your “have not” list? How many times have you spent the lottery millions in your head (hmmmm, I think I’ve spent close to R100M that way already… easily)!
Oh how I love disinfectant wipes! They have them in the toilets here in my clients building. I don’t know if you’ve all seen it, but there’s a TV programme called “Monk” that centres on an ex-police detective with severe (and I mean severe) OCD. And I SO know where he’s coming from. And I know it’s nothing new- but there are so many MORE people in the building I share with my clients than there were at my previous job- and I have lost count of the number of times I’ve been in a toilet cubicle and heard someone leave without washing their hands. I wish you could see me in the toilets, I wash my hands, dry them with the paper towels (love those too) then blow dry them (especially under my rings) and then I get to the door… if my sleeves are long enough I use a cuff under my hand, if my sleeves are short then I stand there for several seconds having this internal debate on whether or not to go back and get a paper towel thingy to open the door with. And then if I do get a paper towel, I use it on the bathroom door and the door leading to my office’s passage- and then I must throw it away because- have you guessed?- because who knows how many germs are now on the paper towel thingy! And if I don’t use a paper towel thingy I don’t want to touch any part of me until I’ve washed my hands again… aaaaargh! It’s reached the point where I am seriously considering bringing my own coffee and sugar and teaspoon. If I open the coffee jar and there’s a spoon in it- I don’t want coffee anymore because I don’t know who touched the spoon last and I can’t tell how many germs are now in the coffee powder, the same with the sugar! And the milk- oh do NOT get me started! I don’t want to touch door handles because I can’t see how many germs are on it! I swear people- I am THIS close (picture me holding my fingers about 5mm apart) to carrying a thing of wet wipes around with me! This is insane- is this how OCD starts?
That’s what I’m feeling now. Damien and I have been using 1-2-3 MAGIC at home to try and curb the way he snaps at me and speaks to me, and it seems to be working… but what’s frustrating me is Damien’s meds. He is on Ritalin- a morning dose @ 6:30 and a small dose in the afternoon @ 2 to get him over the homework and studying period. Up until about a month ago that was working fine. Then he started having a hard time (behaviour wise) after second break at school, round 11am. So we added a tablet in the morning- which worked for a while. Then it didn’t work anymore, so last week we added another tablet @ 10:30. But because it’s at 10:30 the teacher has to remind him to take it- if this doesn’t happen consistently we have no idea whether it actually helps or not. And Damien NEEDS supervision when it comes to his meds- he cannot be left to remember to remind himself to take it. So since last Thursday, he has taken it twice (today should have been day four) and since we go back to his doctor on Saturday I was hoping to have concrete results to justify switching to another medication- one that is longer acting and only requires a morning dose. But without the results I don’t think I can get that far. That’s the fun of Ritalin you see- the trial and error of finding a dose that works is what tips me over the edge every time we have to change it again. And the worst is Damien is also hugely affected by the change because he is the one being “studied” if you know what I mean. It’s all in his best interests of course, because when he is on the right dosage its magic, but the changes drive us all crazy. And of course I am not with him 24 hours a day and I rely on his teachers or aftercare people to remind him to take his tablets (this is one of the reasons I gave him a cell phone- so it could be programmed to remind him as well).
And now I am again on the hunt for a new aftercare for him. I liked the one he was going to originally, but I changed in the second term because I was getting to him so late everyday and he was missing too much gymnastics training. I found one close to the gym, close to home and on the way home from work. Then she was offered a job as a teacher with fabulous benefits and I had two months to find a new one. I have less than a week left of those two months* last night a woman phoned me- she had received one of my “adverts” and said she only has little kids but is prepared to do a month long trial- she knows the school he goes to caters for kids with “special needs” and wanted to know what she would be in for. I assured her he is not super hyper or anything and basically needs someone to nag him to do his homework and such. So that’s November covered. I hope. We’re going to see her this afternoon- I’ll let you know what I think tomorrow.