Did You See How Deftly I Managed Yesterday

To avoid mentioning the knucklehead or anything that’s been happening?

It was my lame attempt to avoid thinking about it! It didn’t work though. . . I spent the day in a state of nervous tension.

Yesterday morning I went through the knucklehead ’s school bag. I hate doing it, but he doesn’t give me letters from the school and he swears he’s doing everything he’s s’posed to even though there’s nothing in his homework diary! I found a letter from one of his teachers asking me to contact her as soon as possible. He got it on Friday. I also found a math assignment which he swears was only due today (Tuesday) but I have no idea how long it’s been in his bag. I didn’t find anything major apart from that though.

So I contact the teacher who sent me the note, she tells me she is his technology teacher and he hasn’t been doing his homework. She says she doesn’t want to kick up a huge fuss or anything- she just wanted me to know. I thanked her, and asked if she would be prepared to meet with me if I organised a group meeting with me and the knucklehead’s other teachers- she said she’d be prepared to do so. I then contacted the school to organise said meeting. When I got hold of the receptionist, she told me I would have to contact the head of department for grade eight and organise a meeting with her, when I told her who I was she said she had an envelope with her with the knucklehead’s name on it- a little knife that the vice principal had confiscated. I was not at all happy- the knucklehead and I discussed the whole weapons at school thing and I explained to him how it is illegal, not just against school rules. I didn’t think about it further, I just planned to speak to him about it later.

A couple of hours later, I get a call from his registration teacher, the one I went to see at the beginning of the year. This was after I had already fetched the knucklehead and dropped him off at home. She tells me he was in a fight on Friday, but that she wanted to give him a chance to tell me before she said anything. Now, I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but the knucklehead has complained to me several times about a guy who is picking on him. This particular guy (and I wish I could tell you his name, he’s named- rather ridiculously- after a bird, and I don’t mean a Robin!) is a known loud mouth who grabs any opportunity to make fun of people and unfortunately the knucklehead takes these things very personally. Apparently on Friday, they were having a pop quiz and the knucklehead did or said something that this bully pounced on and went on at the knucklehead relentlessly. The knucklehead’s teacher witnessed this incident as did several students and apparently the knucklehead asked this guy please to drop it as it was uncalled for. He wouldn’t stop- and it escalated into physical violence. An important note here- the knucklehead has never been in trouble for fighting before, he sulks, and he will shout, but he’s never been in trouble for violence before.

“So what’s the problem?” I hear you ask.

Well, the bit where it gets complicated is the knucklehead’s tendency to carry with him whatever object or objects he is currently fascinated with- it could be anything from bones to fossils to Lego to hot wheels cars to mechwarriors to coloured highlighting pencils! At the moment it’s knives.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

Anyhoo, he has pocket money, and occasionally I have to unlock his shackles and his leash to allow him out of my sight. So he buys himself stuff- he has two ninja stars, an arrowhead type thing, a knife thing combined with something that looks like a karabiner, a pocket knife for fishing and just recently he bought a small knife “set” that’s not even as long as a ballpoint pen. So yesterday, even after I searched his bag he had the knife slash karabiner combination at school with him. The bully apparently reported him saying he was afraid the knucklehead was going to use the knife on him in retaliation for the bullying!

Can you bloody credit it!

The knucklehead’s teacher admitted she knew he wouldn’t “use” the knife, but the point remained that he had it with him, which was against the rules, and this little wanker had reported him claiming he was afraid of the knucklehead. Then he threatened the knucklehead telling him he would bring his parents in and my son would be expelled! This of course had the knucklehead very worried and upset- but he doesn’t bloody tell me anything!

He didn’t tell me about the fight, he didn’t mention the knife confiscation, he didn’t mention the bully’s threats. . .

I would have known nothing if I hadn’t phoned the school about his homework issue!

Why doesn’t he tell me anything!? Why doesn’t he tell me when he’s battling with something?! Getting anything out of him is like looking for a needle in a haystack when the needle’s made of straw!!!

Doesn’t he know I’m on his side?

It is so bloody frustrating to hear this stuff from a teacher it sommer makes me want to grind my teeth! And then I’m so furious with this little fuckwit who’s been picking on my son that I brood on the unfairness of it all, and then the knucklehead thinks I’m in a bad mood!

Doesn’t the bully realise that verbal abuse is also bullying and so also against the law?! Who the fuck does he think he is threatening my son!

And I just know the race card is going to be played. It’s a sad fact of life in South Africa, but in my humble opinion- that’s just how it works. Yes- I do know I’m jumping to conclusions- but this bully’s colour, his ridiculous name and his age tell me that he is the offspring of previously disadvantaged parents who are no longer disadvantaged. . . and very possibly now hold a grudge against anyone they feel was NOT previously disadvantaged. Anyone who lives and works in South Africa will have encountered this situation at one stage or another.

I am praying very hard- that if this kid’s parents get involved- the school will inform them of what really happened as well as the bully’s reputation as a troublemaker and a loud mouth.

I’m praying that they will see what I have seen and drop the matter there.

So, this whole situation turned into a long “lecture” last night- from me to the knucklehead- on the implications and possible repercussions of what had happened, and my informing the knucklehead that I will be taking an even “bigger” hand in his school preparation. This means searching his school bag slash bags on a daily basis and asking him to empty his pockets in the morning before we leave. I explained it to him by saying that as his parent and guardian I am responsible for him and his actions (up to a point) until he turns eighteen, and because he has AD/HD I have to do a lot of thinking for him by reminding him to do things he would normally forget- even simple things- like brushing his teeth and hair. And for this very reason, I will be making sure he takes nothing to school with him that is not school “equipment”.

Pray for the knucklehead dear readers, pray for me too. Pray that this doesn’t escalate into something huge and ugly.

4 thoughts on “Did You See How Deftly I Managed Yesterday

  1. Angel, hope you don’t mind me reading your blog. You have all my sympathies. I recently went through something similar when my daughter (of all people) was gang-bullied by a group of white trash girls.. I’m stll trying to get the school to do something and fortunately for them, I’ve been incredibly busy.
    As for the knucklehead – he sounds like my middle child who is also secretive and just keeps things to himself. If I’m not mistaken, they’re the same age. Will pray for you. Hugs

  2. Oh Angel. The worries that a mother has!!! I think it just gets worse as the kids get older. HUGS

Comments are closed.