Oh Dear

My hippie-style parenting has upset my BIL a bit! Mwaaaaahahahahaha! Kidding. . . but here’s what happened- I had my godson with me this weekend. We spent most of the weekend in one mall or another (as well as making our monthly trip to Damien’s doctor). We went to IMAX, McDonalds, Mugg and Bean, the video rental shop and the games arcade. We window shopped, ate sweets and ice cream and watched DVDs. They played PS2 and generally “bummed” around. I bought my godson a wallet chain that clips on your belt loops (it looks like a bicycle chain), a t-shirt and some badges. Damien bought them some stickers and a key ring each. Yup- I spoilt him, but that’s what I do when sister B’s boys come to me. The t-shirt is the bone of contention. Sister B insists my BIL is just being “parental” and I must not worry about it, but I am concerned that I inadvertently offended him. See, the t-shirt says “VOLKAK”* on the front. I thought it was rather appropriate given his age (13). And we chose it because we honestly thought sister B and her significant other would get a kick out of it! So there I am putting my foot in it again! Damien’s t-shirt says “I am multitalented- I can talk and piss you off at the same time” and he’s had his eye on it for some time. I think it’s funny as well as true, and if he wants to brag about it that’s his prerogative . . . right?
So yesterday Sister C and I were chatting about the t-shirt thing and she said that it simply draws attention to how different mine and sister B’s parenting styles are- and she’s very right. It got me thinking of how different outlooks on or attitudes towards parenting can cause serious ructions in a family, especially one as close as mine is. To put it simply, I seem to be more . . . what’s the word . . . “relaxed”? When it comes to parenting Damien than sister B and her hubby are with their boys. Why? Simply because if I weren’t- then Damien and I would be at each other’s throats constantly (like we aren’t already. . . mwaaaaahahahahaha)! He’s an ADDer- he’s almost ALWAYS doing something that will annoy SOMEONE and I had to teach myself NOT to get annoyed with a lot of things he does just to have some peace in the house! I am not using his ADD as an excuse- and I don’t allow him to use it as an excuse- but it has definitely influenced how I raise him. Darling sister B, I’m dreadfully sorry if I caused controversy in your household; that was not at all my intention. . . and I know how your hubby can “rant” when he’s upset about something!
And now- drum roll please- given the above. . . um. . . “incident”- our family holiday over Christmas may prove a lot more interesting than anyone thinks!

* This is a very original and very popular Afrikaans phrase that means “full of shit” as in annoying, or a PITA!! The word “kak” (shit) is indeed an expletive, but it’s not too bad a swear word IMHO. . . depending on the context or tone of voice of course, which I think is the case with any word in existence.

2 thoughts on “Oh Dear

  1. LOL I was thinking of getting a t-shirt like that for my 5 year old! hahaha

    Yes, parenting styles to differ. Mine and my brother’s parenting styles are WAY different. Thankfully neither of us comment on the way the other is raising his/her kids.

  2. Hey, dont worry about it. Ja, sure we have different parenting styles, but I am glad that M enjoys visiting with you. All kids need an adult they trust and I would be very happy if he found that adult in you – because you are a bit more “relaxed” in certain ways than I am. My dh did not rant or anything, it was just a bit unexpected I suppose. But M is 13 and being that age – I think the T-Shirt is rather appropriate cause thats exactly what he is at this stage VOLKAK. So dont worry, really. Dont let it bug you. Kids grow up and sometimes we need someone else to point out to us that our own kids grow up too. And we gotta let them be themselves a bit now and then. Thanks for always spoiling him and being the cool aunty that you are.

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