My Mommy Darling

Thank you SO much for coming with me at the last minute, to “hold my hand” as such; at Damien’s doctor, yesterday afternoon. I know I’m doing everything I should and could do. But people don’t listen. I have people- even people without children- telling me how I should raise my son and how to handle and treat his ADHD. In fact, you’ve seen it and experienced it yourself.

Mommy, I KNOW you think that I think the whole world is against me- but I need to explain to you how it goes and why I seem like that to you.

No one- not even Damien’s doctor- takes me seriously, when I try to explain the lengths I go to. To make sure that Damien takes his meds in the morning. And that we have a routine to adhere to. And that his homework is done. And that his school bag and gymnastics equipment and uniform is packed and ready when it needs to be. And I KNOW Damien’s doctor does not believe me when I say I’m doing everything he tells me to do- and then some! I know this because in the nearly three years Damien and I have been seeing him I have had many discussions with him where he simply DOES NOT LET ME TALK! And if I do get a word in, he usually replies with a “Yes but…” or a “Let me finish…” or a “No, no. No, no. Hang on” JUST like he did to you yesterday. According to his reckoning- if I am coming to him with an issue over and above our usual visit, then I couldn’t POSSIBLY be doing what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing. Right? And don’t dare try to tell him that my not watching Damien take his meds yesterday morning was the exception to the rule. I might as well whistle “Yippidy-doodah”.

I KNOW Damien can’t go without his meds. He doesn’t. I KNOW I must supervise Damien taking his meds. I do. I KNOW everything he told me yesterday… and then some. It doesn’t matter when things have gone wrong again. Then it’s like I may as well have done nothing for the last ten years.