Okay Blogland… someone I love VERY dearly has asked me to please post this- an email she sent to me- and ask for all of you to give her some advice. She’s desperate for answers and I told her I’d think about it for a while before giving her my own answer… so its time once again for you all to step up to the plate and dispense the wisdom you have all accumulated! Be gentle- she’s REALLY been through the mill!
I need some advice.
I don’t think D is of any plan to marry me soon, and not to mention start a family (which is a huge dream of mine). I don’t know if I should carry on with a relationship for who knows how long before I realise that my wants and needs wont be satisfied, and then we break up, and I am already like thirty or something, and I have to start over, and then I don’t have a family ever. I want to get married. And I want children of my own. D just doesn’t seem to have the same wants as I do, and is willing to just take it as it comes. I did that before, for seven years, and once I was married, I realised that was not what I wanted and that I did not want kids with him, and I had to start my whole life over… from scratch. I am so scared… I don’t want to waste seven years, only to end up picking up pieces again.
Should I just accept that D is the man I love, and that there is a possibility that we will get married, and accept that I might never have the opportunity to have children? Or should I get out now, and start over now, and maybe give myself a chance of loving someone again, and starting a family of my own… what man really wants that? No one. I will loose the man I adore, who gives me so much happiness in so many other ways, and take a risk of never finding what we have again with anyone else – children or none.
This is weighing heavy on my heart, and I pray for answers, but God seems to be taking his time in answering me, for his own good reason I guess.