99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, 99 Bottles Of Beer…

If one of those bottles should happen to fall, 98 bottles of beer on the wall! 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer, if one of those bottles should happen to fall…
Oh, so you think that’s repetitive? Well- HAH I tell you! And HAH again!
Sometimes… I feel like I’m stuck in one of those horrible repetitive dream slash nightmares. You know the kind where you’re trying to wake yourself up but you feel like you’ve lost your voice and you can’t move… or something like that.
Damien and I have been home a couple of days with head colds slash sinusitis, nothing too serious, and then last night, just after 7, I get this text message:
Dear Mrs Surname-withheld. (yup, wrong- and people make this mistake so often its frightening!) Would you pls call me when you are feeling better. I want to discuss something informal about Damien. Pref before next Tuesday. Get well soon. Mr M
So I waited till today to call him, and I was hoping “informal” meant “not serious”… but I knew better. He tells me he’s worried about Damien. That he was caught bunking his class too, but that he didn’t report it and instead went looking for Damien himself. He found him in the parking lot, not smoking- but with a girl who has also been caught smoking before. He also tells me Damien’s changed since the beginning of the year, that in the beginning he was positive, and now he pessimistic and negative and he thinks he may be hanging out with the wrong crowd. He knows I don’t want to hear stuff like that, but he feels duty bound to tell me because he likes Damien and feels he has a lot of potential. And then he utters those dreaded words, “…maybe this isn’t the right school for your child…” Then he tells me there’s another school not far from Damien’s, and he thinks maybe Damien would be happier there. Would I mind if he sent me the school’s contact details? Then he reiterates how much he likes Damien and how he wishes he could do more. I thank him and hang up.
Then I have a chat with Damien about him bunking this teacher’s class. He says he hadn’t done his homework and this other girl convinced him to bunk with her. I ask him what’s happening at school and he says nothing. He says all his friends have left the school to be home schooled, I ask him about a few people whose names I remember and he says he doesn’t know where they hang out anymore- so he’s spending his breaks alone. OUCH! BIG OUCH! My heart aches for my poor child!
Do you have any idea how I long for a “regular” kid right now, and how much I hate myself for putting those thoughts “on paper”. Do you have any idea how it feels to get a lump in your throat every bloody time the phone rings during a school day, how I wish I could go to a parents evening and quietly sit and page through my sons books and admire his work like so many parents I see, instead of being summoned to parents evening with pre-booked timeslot and my name on half his teacher’s appointment lists? Granted I get to jump the queue… but still!
And you know what- I clean forgot to ask him what next Tuesday had to do with anything…

15 thoughts on “99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, 99 Bottles Of Beer…

  1. buddess: i didn’t mean to make you cry.. thanx for being so positive! i hope your b/f can work things out for his eldest…

  2. I am a little behind in my reading. You touched me with this. Silly old me is sitting wiping away tears. We have a similar problem with my b/f’s oldest son.
    He wants to leave school and do home schooling, but I am afraid for that. He is barely getting through his classes with teachers to guide him and how is he going to do that at home on his own??? This is a new thing with the kids. They are all talking about home schooling and I am afraid that they think it is an easy way out. Maybe you should visit the other school and just have a look and feel for it. You are doing a brilliant job and your love for your son is astounding. You will find the answer. I am 100% confident in you!!!

  3. Ultimately you will have to make the decision. If Damien will be better off at a the school the teacher mentioned, maybe that is an option to be explored…

    In the long run, if it is going to be beneficial maybe it is worth a shot.

    I am sorry you feel so stuck in this “can’t wake up” nightmare. I can only imagine how hard ot must be for you. Just know that whatever you decide to do – I am behind you 100%!!

    I am very proud of you and of how far you have come. I love you lots and lots!!

  4. hello all you all… my battery’s been a bit flat what with the sarnusartis and all the other kak!

    ww: hi, i trust and like almost all of his teachers, there’s one in particular who’s very “old school” (no pun intended) and believes everything can be fixed with a hiding, and there’s another with that snotty attitude who says things she shouldn’t- to me and to damien. deep down- i think i’m more than a little conflicted. i know he’s battling and i wish i could find a magic pill and make this school work for him because i know he could like it and do well, and at the same time i know he’d probably be better off in a smaller school with small classes and individual attention. and he doesn’t want to move- and yet he also knows he’d probably be better off… i do watch damien closely, we can read each other well, and i know just how to give him a little boost- honestly- when he needs one, but i can’t be at school with him, and as much help as i can give him with homework and so on- he still has to do most of it himself! sorry- getting a little carried away here!

    gail: i’m glad you’re sorted out, and it helps to know i’m not alone in my decisions!

    ec: it is VERY definitely helpful! its quite amazing how much it helps me to know you’re all out there!

    dawn: you’re a sweetie- kisses!

    mel: thanx doll- much appreciated.

    bf: congrats on your newest achievement- i’m so proud of you! i’ve still got a headache! repeat after me: myprodol is my friend… myprodol is my friend… myprodol is my friend…

    nmotb: teehee… took me ages to work out it was even possible! yet another place i can leave my 2c!

  5. Hi Angel,

    Thank you for leaving comments on my flickr – I am so dof, I only noticed it tonight!!!

  6. Hi Buddo,

    Hope you are feeling better!! You sounded really yucky earlier on!! I am thinking of you! Say hi to D for me!!!! Speak to you in the week!

  7. This is so hard Angel. And heartbreaking. No mother wants to think of her child spending any time alone. I know how my heart aches when I see my son being left out of things. I don’t know what to say to help. Just wanted you to know that I care – deeply. Indeed I think we all do – and hopefully, somehow, that’s helpful.

  8. Hi Angel, I disappeared for a whil as the computer wouldn’t work.Got rid of the viruses today.

    I so feel for you.Sort of been there done that ,as you know and it is heart breaking.

    R. only ever had one friend at Junior school and was left out of lots of activities.It was awful. We didnt send him to the Senior part of that school but took the plunge and moved him. For us it worked brillianty. He had no past history and met a great group of friends.
    But that’s just our story.

    I am so with you here.
    Love Blue

  9. Geez, Angel, I feel for you…

    Can’t of course know what’s really going on…do you trust the teacher that’s saying this?

    Is he/she someone you can feel is someone who really cares about Damien and is really concerned?

    He’s at a rebellious age. He’s got ADHD, not that that’s a curse or bad thing but it’s an issue.

    What do you feel deep down inside about Damien? And what does he say to you from deep down inside?

    Why did the teacher think this other school would change anything or make it better for Damien?

    D’s hanging out by himself…why? That would be heart-breaking for you and for him.

    What’s D saying to you? Does HE think he should move to the new school? What’s his heart saying?

    What’s yours?

    Sorry, not being very helpful. He needs to feel he has some power, some peace, I think.

    With my own son, I just keep watching him closely about his happiness quotient.

    With him, it’s missed assignments, lack of prep, lack of organization, lack of confidence.

    I keep pumping him up, telling him as long as he tries his hardest and can show me that, I’ll be proud of him. Marks are secondary.

    He has lots of friends and the teachers like him and say he’s not disruptive. He smiles, he’s happy.

    I tell him he’s got his own responsibility about this, I can’t study for him or write the tests.

    I feel for you and for Damien. What is he saying to you…verbally or otherwise?


  10. bf: LU2 tjomma! i dunno what i’m gonna do yet… but iuts gotta be soon- august is registering and re-registering time, so i gotta make quick like!

    whatalotoffun: ugh… if only it was just the bunking!

  11. thats not right I bunked school alot to when I was in high school all kids go through those stages. they cant send him to another school because of that, If I were you I would go to the school board.

  12. I don’t know what to say my friend! The thought of D spending breaks alone gives me a lump in my throat, that is not how it should be. My D went thru a stage like that and when I heard him telling his brother that he sat in the toy shed until all the kids had to go in – I started to cry! Are you going to look at the possibility of moving him – will that be the right thing to do? I are here for you, you know dat! Love you!

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