Oh For Shit’s Sake!

I swear to Christmas, its days like today, that I want to go and find Damien’s father and tell him to take Damien for a while- regardless of our agreement or history or anything- and then give him and Damien each a fat ear for good measure!
I am so tired of having to deal with the kak on my own!!!!!!!!!
This morning Damien reminds me we’ve run out of sugar. I say okay and make a mental note. He also reminds me that he needs another tube of white acrylic paint. Right- another mental note. So when I fetched him after school today I remembered the paint, and stopped off at a stationery shop en-route to the aftercare. I hand him the R100 note that I drew this morning (for paint and sugar) and he asks if he must go and buy sugar. I say no, I’ve got to get back to work so just run and get the paint I’ll wait in the car. I drive around the shopping centre so I don’t have to park the car, I pull into an empty space and as I’m about to phone and ask what’s taking so long he comes out of the shop. And I can see quite clearly that he has something under his school jersey. He gets in the car and I ask what he has- he shows me the tube of paint. I ask for my change and he hands me some cents. Now I know his paint doesn’t cost R100 for a tube, so I ask again what he has under his jersey. Brace yourself- he pulls out an action man figure (in its packaging).
Not one the 12” figures that he already has eleven of at home (with all their accessories including horses, dogs, tents, sleeping bags, clothing, a footlocker, weapons and a four-wheeler)- no- its one of the little plastic jobbies- and he spent eighty bucks on it!
I am speechless with anger. What did he think? That I wasn’t going to ask why the tube of paint cost so much? That I wouldn’t ask where the rest of the money was?
What’s his excuse? That I got rid of some of his toys while he was away in July. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Is it just me- or does anyone else remember what I said about his bedroom and what he and I AGREED I would do while he was away, ie: I would tidy up and chuck out and I would decide what stayed and what went? Anyone?
So now he’s pissed at me because I’ll be keeping his bank card for ANOTHER month as punishment.
And I’ll be getting rid of the bloody toy at the first available opportunity.

18 thoughts on “Oh For Shit’s Sake!

  1. ww: nuh- i didn’t misinterpret at all, and i dunno why your comment made me think of that email that circulated a while ago about the stages of innebriation…
    i SO appreciate you putting so much thought into your replies! men and women are very different indeed… and we rile each other up!
    i think teenage adders are simply from another planet!
    heh heh

  2. Hmmmm…Angel, I wonder if you’ve misinterpreted what I was trying to say.

    I wasn’t condoning D’s actions, merely trying to guess at what might have motivated them.

    Let’s face it…like girls and women, guys can be jerks at times, both as teens and as adults.

    Sometimes, that tends to rile the other gender, and moms most particularly. We’re different.

    OK, I consider myself smacked.

    All I’m gently trying to say is he’s a kid and he’s going to do stupid things…he’s not the adult male you describe and it’s not an inherent condition that is inevitable and chronic.

  3. whatalotoffun: frankly- i’m tired of always being the bitch! that’s why its a little tempting right now to find damien’s father and just hand him over for a while… heh heh…
    only crap is- being an adhder damien thrives on change and he’d probably be good as gold for anyone except me- at least for a while!

  4. Ja the mom always have to be the bitch in everything good luck. well I will have to go through all of that soon

  5. buddess: repeat dawn’s chant after me “…this too shall pass…”

    spookie: love you too- thanx for the prayers!

    m: yup- i am not alone… and at least you have a warning! i hope you can actually use my experiences as a reference one day- then at least a little bit of good will have come of my roller-coaster ride!

  6. WOW, WOW and again WOW… suddenly I am very scared of mine growing up (currently 7 and 3).

    Angel, at least it seems that yours is not an issolated incident (again, doesn’t bode well for me) and you can take courage in the fact that many people are going through and have gone through what you are right now and lived to tell the tale.

  7. Oo, that’s sssso frustrating!!!(can you hear the clenched teaath here???) I am so feeling like cuffing his ear as Within Without said…thats just pain old disrespectful, rude and – AND selfish. And if he refuses to bring his bloody stuff home from school then just don’t friggin replace it if it gets swiped or replace it out of HIS money.

    I am so sorry he is behaving this way, I wish he could see how selfish he is being. I continue to pray for you both and I hope you can feel the prayers going out to you…

    Love you, love you, love you!!!!

  8. I had the same experience this week with our live-in 16 year old. I sent him to the shop with R200 to buy nappies for the little ones. Darn, these things are getting very pricy. He put the change on the usual place and something made me check. There was R40.00 missing. His excuse – he lost it. But strangely he now has airtime on his phone. One of the joys of parenting I guess. Stick to your guns!! First instinct is always the one to follow.

  9. dawn: you mean a fist fight is an option?!?!?! what is it with these boys and flat out refusal- he did it to me again this morning. i said he must please bring home his art portfolio and his toolbox (full of paint and brushes and so on) because his stuff gets stolen if he leaves it at school… his reply- “no, i won’t, its too much to carry around all the time.” and if i dare re-iterate my instruction not to leave it behind- he simply refuses again and again- just louder each time! fot the wuck!?!?! i’m the parent!!! i’m the boss!!!
    …aren’t i…?

    ww: very interesting list dude- nice to see it so neatly laid out. you know… it looks very much the same as adult male “logic”… you know? like when they’re out with the guys and they know its late and they’ve had too much to drink and they’re in trouble already so why the hell not just have another and they’re in trouble already so why the hell not just have another and they’re in trouble already so why the hell not just have another and they’re in trouble already so why the hell not just have another…
    consider yourself and your 14 y/o cyber-smacked!

    blue: oh no… this really isn’t going to get any better soon is it!?!

    katt: if it didn’t sound completely selfish or mean- i’d be standing outside your house with a banner and a poster on a stick shouting “DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT!”

  10. Hang on in there Angel. I think that you do a great job. R is 21 and I’m still waiting for it to pass. He took my visa card and spent $100=R500 on booze at a nightclub and didn’t think about the bank statement coming in to me.Will he ever wake up???

  11. Uh, Angel, I didn’t mean cuff my ears, I meant cuff my 14-year-old son’s.

    Well, no, you’d better cuff mine too…because I did goofy stuff like this too.

  12. Argh, Angel. This was nothing but an adolescent male brain cramp, although a doozie it was.

    In one tiny nanosecond inside his minute male brain, inside the mall, R100 in his pocket and you outside, he:

    1. Realized, DOH! I have R100 in my pocket!
    2. Realized, Duh…my mom’s outside. I’m alone. Oh, there’s a toy store there…
    3. Saw the toy.
    4. Fought off guilt.
    5. Suspended reality.
    6. Wanted it more than anything in the world.
    7. Reasoned, without reason, that you owed him this or he deserved it.
    8. Figured money grows on trees and you could easily afford this and wanted to make him happy.
    9. Supposed that once you saw he had it, you’d buckle under and let him keep it anyway.
    10. Surmised you wouldn’t see it under his shirt and you wouldn’t notice the missing change.

    And all of these processes, remember, took about a nanosecond to be processed in his tiny cranium.

    His teen twisted male teen logic. It’s all about him. After you cuff him on the ear, cuff mine.

    But I figure they have to step way over the limit before they figure out there is a limit.

  13. HAHAH – I just HAD to come back and tell you that the last four letters on my word verification for my previous comment were … K I D S – stroes nyannies!!!

  14. All I can think of saying to you is, “this too shall pass.” Having said that though, I have spent many nights lying in the dark thinking of ways to propose the teenager gets a place of his own, without causing him any life long emotional scarring! It’s tough – they have an astonishing sense of entitlement. I sent mine to the store once also knowing there would be change due to me. When I asked for it, he flatly refused. What’s the next best option – a fist fight? Good on you for standing your ground re the card. Sterkte, sister! xoxo

  15. nmotb: oh he knew better all right… that’s why he tried to hide it under his friggin jersey!

    jj: oh crap- you mean this isn’t going to get any better soon…

  16. May I just say… wait until he’s seventeen. I have plans to move out of my own house if there is one mone door slamming cavalcade like last night.

  17. Ag, fok!!! what next??? Hey you can give it to Nathan! My friend what can I say? He obviously thought you wouldn’t mind for some strange reason, but I agree what you have done – he has to learn!!! Good Luck Buddy. I am sort of back!

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