When The Neighbour Lady Complains ‘Bout Your Kid!

I’m sure every single mother on this planet has had a neighbour come knocking- or calling on the phone- to tell you about something your child has supposedly done.

And whether my kidlet is guilty or not- it’s never nice and I always get defensive and mother bear-like. I can’t help it, its mommy programming, and it’s built in!

Case in point?

The other night at friend L’s place, while the toad was in the oven, there was a knock at the door. And judging by friend L’s puzzled frown, it was unexpected. T answered the door and I heard a woman’s voice asking T if she could speak to his mom. Friend L went to the door and greeted the woman whom I could not see, and I heard the woman say something like “Oh, you have guests?” and she sounded friendly enough, I figured she’d thought to pop in for coffee and was now going to leave since friend L was busy.

I headed for the kitchen, and friend L appeared a moment later looking apprehensive, saying the woman wanted to speak to her outside. I had a feeling I knew what was coming since I’ve had several conversations like this with my neighbours- and I’m not going to go into detail- but what it boiled down to was that the woman told friend L that her son T had been swearing and teaching her children (a little younger than T) rude words and signs they shouldn’t know. She hadn’t heard or seen T do it himself, her children told her about it.

As you can imagine, this little exchange pretty much ruined the rest of friend L’s evening.

I thought it was immensely selfish of the neighbour to have come to talk to friend L? firstly at night and taking friend L completely by surprise; secondly the night before a public holiday (or a weekend); and thirdly while friend L was entertaining.

Could it not have waited? Could she not have made an appointment or something, at least giving friend L some time to prepare? And why would she bring it up if she wasn’t 100% sure T had actually done anything wrong. Her decision to talk to friend L about T’s alleged misbehaviour stemmed from the fact that she believed her kids to be naïve? yeah right- not in today’s school system, lady!

I dunno bout you, but these things are never nice and more often than not are confrontational as well.

Maybe because I’ve been there, I think twice before confronting a child’s parents. First of all- unless I am more than 100% sure of the situation- I’d rather not bring it up. I leave Damien to handle it himself and if he needs help he can ask me for it.

If I can deal with it by dealing with Damien, or teaching him how to handle it, then I’d rather not get hold of the other child’s parents at all. If I think its serious then I will contact the kid’s parents, but something as niggly as swear words- come oooon!

12 thoughts on “When The Neighbour Lady Complains ‘Bout Your Kid!

  1. I had a similar incident where the neighbours complained about my children (read cats).

    Oh, you just gave me something to blog about.

    Fangks yoo kindly.


  2. LMAO. That is a great idea. Tell her to complain to blogger world. She will realize no one out here is that tolerant of stupid beefs when we have a nation at war, poverty, hunger, do I even have to mention Darfur?

    A kid not following what another deems appropriate is the least of our concerns.

    Or hey I got it. Tell who ever does it next to solve all the world issues and you in turn (we will help) can raise children to be NORMAL!!!! I hate people that are too stupid to see the big picture.

    OMG this just popped in my head. My daughter is one with a bit of a loose mouth too. But the rule is I do not have to hear it come from her. She uses come creative replacments. (flipping=fucking .. etc) … But just yesterday I had to tell her that she was getting tooooo close just using initials. ie S.O.B. ..So, tell your friend it isnt only her .. we all have to shake our heads and take a deep breath and explain it ONE more time. Being consistant and repetative. Kids LOVE it. HAHAA

  3. the tart: thanx tart- hugs!

    invisible: i think i’m just going to print out a selection of posts and comments and hand them to the next mom who knocks on my door!

    spookie: a cupboard raiding is fine and dandy on saturday afternoon!

    mommy darling: thanx for stopping by- to vote you’ll have to register on the bloggers choice awards site…

  4. Not about this issue precious – I wanna vote for you as Hottest Mom Blogger – how do I do this??
    Love you – MoM

  5. Gosh, you have posted alot!! 1st of all congrats on being listed no. 1!! That’s really cool. I thought your lil spidey was perhaps family of the button cause of her shape ans all, so it’s very likely.
    Sunday was fun, I love it when you come to visit me. We still on for a cupboard raiding this weekend?
    thanks for the photers – theya re so sweet!!
    Love you madly too – BYE!!

  6. Let me just say as a mom of older kids.. Fuck it all.

    Her kid didnt teach the others the word.. and all kids cuss… you have t teach your OWN children to not get caught at it…PERIOD.

    No parent is naive enough to think they have the only kid out there that doesnt say them. RIIIGGHHHTT.. and your kid never trips the nerd.. *eyeroll*

  7. People are in interesting group for sure.

    Love your Mother bear-like description … You go girl!

    The Tart
    : *

  8. terri: thats exactly what i said! great minds think alike eh!?!

    allan: thank you for the ego boost!

    supermom: oh it doesn’t only have to be neighbours… his “friends” parents gave also done that to me once or twice.

    liesel: it was vool! us single moms gotta stick together doll!

  9. Hey it is me friend L, thanks Angel I was really p*ssed as you know I I spent some time blaming ME as I am prone to do, then I thought about it again and dam I know my son, he not innocent (who is? ) but he doesnt know it ALL either, he admitted to swearing but the S*X talks? He doesnt even like to see people kissing at this stage, it would appear that naive neighbor woman thinks he kids are angels sent from heaven to show up all other kids!!! and sadly lacks a life enough to ANNOY me when I am entertaining!!! LOL!!! Monday night was VOOL thanks maatjie!!!

  10. Thankfully no neighbour woman has come to complain but that might just be because we live in an “old age home”. Seriously. We only have old people around is, so there is no way my kids can be doing something they should not lol

  11. Pass the blame…it’s always someone else’s kids fault. Or TV’s. Or the School etc… screw all that.

    I admire the way you handle parenting, BTW.

  12. So, this neighbour’s kids are home-schooled and not allowed to watch TV, then..?
    Sounds like they were caught out using bad words and your friend’s sone was the first way they could think of to place the blame somewhere. Silly neighbour!

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