So, Um…

I have a question- and no it’s not sex related– it’s about booze, and drinking.

You see, one of my grandfathers was an alcoholic, and he was a mean drunk, he was a darling when he was sober and he was sober when he died – he used to tell us “Just So Stories” and he cooked like a pro… but he was a mean drunk most of the time. And my baby sister is an alcoholic- she’s been sober for over 26 months and I am immensely proud of her. She’s smart and she’s happy now, and she knows what she wants. She has a diploma and is again studying further which none of the rest of us siblings did… So, related to this information, I was always taught that drinking alone is a problem. Drinking when you’re on your own is not a good thing and can lead to addiction… now, I won’t lie and say I’ve never ever done it- but I haven’t done it very often because I always have this nagging feeling about it… KWIM?

So here’s my question.

Does drinking while you’re chatting using some kind of IM count as drinking alone?

And I’m not talking shots and going berserk… I’m talking maybe a glass of wine, or a beer while you chat… and lemme be clear- I haven’t had any alcohol in the house since Damien finished my whisky- and I really do drink very seldom… but I spent most of the weekend chatting and I wondered about it.


17 thoughts on “So, Um…

  1. I dont see drinking and IM chatting as a dangerous thing… unless you feel as if you arent in control of it. nonetheless… alcohoic and angel are not synonyms.

  2. I know you’re past this post and have already made your decision – but thought I’d toss this in anyway.

    For about 15 years of my life I was such a heavy drinker that I (and most of my friends and family) was convinced I was an alcoholic. Then I stopped. Just like that. I’m a near tea totaller now, and have been for about 13 years. I say “near” because I average about 3 drinks a year — all taken at the dizzying speed of 1-2 sips at a time, with about 4-6 months in between!

    But none of that is important. What is important is what I came to realize from all my experiences: it isn’t why you drink, or how you drink, or what you drink, or even if you drink alone or with tons of people around. What counts is only one thing: who is in control? If alcohol is in control – then don’t do it. But if you are in control (and you MUST be honest about this) – then relax and enjoy yourself.

    After all – enjoyment only comes with moderation – after that it’s pure Hell!

  3. I drink alone and watch football ( a beer, maybe 2), and I think thats fine. If I need to justify it to myself (I don’t usually) then I just pretend I am drinking with all the fans at the stadium.

    So sure, drinking an IMing is social drinking!

    And Liz – munchkins seeing someone drink responsibly now and then is a lot better than learning to drink “responsibly” from peers when they reach the age to start.

  4. Angel~

    I have often asked this question myself as a single mom. It is weird to drink by myself? When I’ve cooked a nice dinner is it abnormal to have a glass of wine since the only other people at the table are under 4 feet tall?

    I had a lenghty discussion on this topic with a friend of mine recently. She is married but doesn’t have any children. She routinely drinks a glass of wine while she cooks to unwind from the day and says she has no issues with the ‘drinking alone’ aspect of it. I feel like the children in the house are what add a new dimension to the question.

    I agree with those who have said that it should be more about why you are drinking than who you are with when you do so. But I think a glass of wine or a beer are fine.


  5. allbunnies: right, thank you ever so much for your input, and with that i have decided- that should the fancy take me and i am chatting on some form of IM till 4am again- i just may have a glass of merlot or a black label should the fancy take me. and i will toast all of you when i do (^_^)!

  6. I think you have seen enough of what alcohol can do to make a responsible choice. Most people can (IMO , THEY SHOULD) have an occasional drink (alone or not) without disrupting their lives.
    I can’t, so have one for me!

  7. I drink alone most of the time too, because my husband doesn’t drink at all – he’s my driver ;).
    Your post made me laugh, because I would consider IM’ing not being alone – you’re not alone with your thoughts when you’re IM’ing.

  8. I have to agree with Gnat its not about who you drink with but more why you are doing it. Are your drinking because you are happy,sad … Do you HAVE to drink? Generally if you just want a class of wine thats fine its when you HAVE TO HAVE a glass of wine that you are in trouble

  9. Simple answer:

    If it is for fun and to relax or social. Your fine does not matter even in mass.

    On the other hand:

    If you drink every time your have a problem in your life. Every time your are bored, Every time you fill down, every time the sun rises. Well then you have a problem. When it becomes a crutch to hold you together that is when it has become and issue.


  10. drink and be merry angel! don’t get drunk ok, just chill…you don’t chill after a bottle of wine…you chill after one or two glasses…geddit? 🙂

  11. My father was an alcoholic—alcohol helped him to his premature death—and he never drank alone. He drank in bars and club meetings and holiday celebrations. So the rule, although probably valid, is not absolute. I see no problem with one glass of wine or one beer while chatting or otherwise. However, Angel, since you probably have “the gene” I would be very careful and constantly aware of what you’re doing. As Alex the cat would say: OK?

  12. I drink alone all the time, unless having the two dogs with me means I’m not alone (Yes, they are real dogs, and no, they don’t drink). Nothing like a good quality brandy after a long and stressfull day or week.

    Having a glass of wine while catching up with friends online, don’t seem to be “alone” to me. Part of drinking alone is that there is no social interaction going on, except in your own head.

  13. Oooh, I get first comment.

    Anyway I do actually drink a lot, though I have none of the symptoms of being an alcoholic. When I’m living on my own and make a nice meal, I’ll have some wine with it, which I suppose is drinking alone. I’m afraid so is drinking while on IM talking to people, but the thing is within reason it doesn’t actually matter.

    You just have to hold it within reasonable limits.

    Oh, and I found your blog as one of the few that I wanted to stop and read yesterday in my two hour stint of hitting the ‘next blog’ button.

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