Just About Speechless…

Oh my freakin’ word bunnies!

I dunno how I would deal… I met this woman in the psych’s waiting room- maybe not the best place to meet people I know… Wait lemme start at the beginning.

Remember I said that Damien and I were due to go to our psych yesterday? And I know I’ve mentioned before how I adore this dude… and we see him once a month (and between if we need a referee)!

So, yesterday, Damien goes into Doc C and I’m sitting in the waiting room for him. There’s another woman sitting there. I can see she’s been crying so I assumed she was waiting for someone who was also in a session.

Now bunnies, I’m not big on grocery queue slash waiting room slash adjoining restaurant table conversation at all… I will never start up a conversation with someone out of the blue for the sake of talking- and usually if someone talks to me I’ll smile briefly to acknowledge I heard them, but I don’t encourage conversation. If I know I’m going to be queuing for a while, like for my license or something, I take a book with me, or I play cell phone games.

Well… in the waiting room yesterday, I glanced at the woman, as one does when entering a room and checking out who’s there, you know.

I sit down and pick up a magazine.

I can sorta feel her looking at me so I glance up and she smiles weakly and looks down again…

I go back to my glamour magazine.

Next thing I know she’s sitting next to me!!!

The waiting room is empty except for us two so I know there’s no real reason for her to come to me except to talk to me… I’m dying to lift my magazine to my face and pretend I didn‘t notice… she should be talking to a shrink after all- not to me… the she tells me she noticed my son had gone in with the doc. I look at her and nod. I mean, I’m not shy to tell people we see a psych. She tells me her son is also with one of the docs and asks me if we’re happy with mine… like we’re discussing a mechanic or a plumber!

I say yes, that he’s great and my son likes him (I don’t use Damien’s name though she probably heard it when Doc C called him). I realised she looked a little familiar, and then she said her son had been coming once a week for about 6 months and it hit me I’d probably seen her in the waiting room occasionally.

I told her we’d been coming for a while too, but monthly.

Then she started crying!!!

Panic stations bunnies!!! I can help my friends and my family- but strangers!!?!?! Nuh uh!!!

So I grab the box of tissues next to me and hand them to her… mumbling some lame “are you okay” type question… which I should never have done because she took this as a sign I wanted to listen and launched into a tearful, sobbing, one-sided conversation about her son!!! I was praying for the ground to open up and swallow me or her; or for Damien to come out of Doc C’s office so we can leave!

I really didn’t want to listen to this… I mean, I blog because it allows me an anonymous intimacy and it’s not face to face! And here’s woman telling me about her son!!!

I’m trying not to look like a deer in the headlights but I’m also trying not to look too encouraging…

She tells me her son is 17, and has issues… she tells me she doesn’t know what to do anymore because he has a thing for girls clothes and underwear! That he helps himself to her underwear and clothing and make up! He’s been doing it for three years but refuses to talk to her! She’s found girl’s clothing in his closet, and make-up, and assumed at first that he had a girlfriend or six… but then she started noticing the remains of lipstick or eyeliner or something if he’s been home alone for a while. According to the psych they were seeing- the fact that it’s gone on for as long as it has means its definitely not just an experimental “phase”…

This is very much a précis version of what she told me, bunnies- she was VERY specific- with me sitting there holding the tissue box and wishing I’d gone for a coffee rather than sit and wait!

Then a door to one of the doctor’s suites opened and she swallowed her tears very quickly, probably thinking her son was going to come out and catch her in tears with a complete stranger… and then she was quiet!

I hope it helped for her to talk to me… and I seriously think she should be talking to a psych herself… I mean, I didn’t- COULDN’T say anything!!!

My god bunnies… what the fork would you do??!?

What would I do??!?

18 thoughts on “Just About Speechless…

  1. One of the first rules I learned as a young social worker: NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE SITTING IN A MENTAL HEALTH WAITING ROOM.

    The alternative, of course, is to send ‘em a bill for your time.

  2. hey all-bunnies: lemme just clarify to put your minds at rest a wee bit… i don’t think her son was there because she was worried about his women’s clothing fetish, or whatever it is (and frankly i reckon everyone should be seeing a shrink at least once a month)!!! i think there were/ are definitely other, deeper issues as well… but i did wonder how i would deal with it were it damien. i know i over react, and along with his ad/hd, the added complication of transexuality/ crossdressing/ homosexuality would not make his life any easier!!!

    sweetass: i didn’t ask if she was… but now i wanna try and schedule so i don’t bump into her again- but i dunno her name!!!

    living bridget: mwaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaa…

    glugster: he prolly aint gonna change, but i do wonder how i would react if it were damien!? i certainly wouldn’t be crying on stranger’s shoulders in psych waiting rooms!
    … whose authority would that be glug…?

    szarek (will): :p

    mel: aw you’re so sweet mel…

    dino aka katy: oh i know… times do and have changed, but its still not easy!

    scott: mwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaa… you’re a scream dude!

    modified mummy: hi hi! feel free to rant! that’s what blogging is for!!!

    preposterous ponderings: mwaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaa…

    jenty: it was uncomfortable… but i kept going back to what if it was damien, how would i react!!?!

    terri: naturally i was blog-posting furiously in my head while she talked… but she suprised me a bit!

    simply curious: oh i gotta remember the phone thing next time!!!

    allan: maybe worried more than crazy…

    dyna girl: mwaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaa…

    supermom: thanx! i hope she did too…

  3. She clearly needed to get it off her chest right then and there. Like you, I don’t start up conversations in those situations and one has no choice really but to listen. Hopefully she felt better after she offloaded.

    Not nice for you though.

  4. He likes to wear dresses? Maybe he’s a transvestite, gay or both-duh. So what?
    It sounds like the mom is the crazy one.

  5. I don’t get what her issue was…So her son is a crossdresser. Does that make him mentally ill? This isn’t the 50s.

    If someone has an issue, just hand them a tissue and make your phone ring and say, “I’m really sorry, but I need to take this” and walk out.


  6. Well I’m glad it wasn’t me in your place because I’m afraid I probably would have cracked some very inappropriate joke (think Chandler from Friends!) and / or started laughing.
    And no I’m not really a bitch I just have a rather odd sense of humour LOL!

  7. I was gonna say the same as the others… she definitely seems to need the help more than her son – she’s the one that won’t accept who he is.
    No amount of psych is going to change her son, that’s for sure!
    Not sure what I would have done. I would have felt damned uncomfortable.

  8. I’d have charged her for your time!

    Sounds like she needs more help than her son does.He is already happy with his life and knows where he is going.Mom is just going to have to accept it.

  9. I wrote a long nasty comment in regard to that woman, then realised I don’t wanna come across as too much of a bitch. Plsu why should I rant at her when she won’t be reading it, lol.

    Hi hun.

  10. That is it, the kid likes to dress as a girl? Shit I though she had a problem.


  11. you know with all the things that can go wrong with your kids – being a transexual is not the end of the world. I mean seriously she needs to get a grip and face reality – it could be much worse.

  12. You see how small Damien’s issues are compared to some of the real dodgy ones out there!
    I think you should feel privileged that she could talk to you and you could listen. Obviously I think its all God orchestrated! hallelujaaaaaaaaaaaah!

  13. I would have given her the names, numbers and addresses of some top boutiques and tell her to take her son shopping. The sooner she faces reality the better. He ain’t gonna change.

    I bet you a conversation with the son would have gone much better. I have it on good authority that Queen’s love boas!!!

  14. You should have asked her why it would be so bad if her son was a queen. That would have shut her up! Honestly!!

  15. oh no!!! just be glad she didn’t pull your shoulder closer for a real shoulder to cry on… shame man, poor thing, but she should be talking to a psych herself…

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