Deep breath taken.
I told you all he has a new girlfriend right, Flower? Today is her birthday. He spoke on the weekend about getting her a little something for her birthday, that he had an idea already. So yesterday after school I called him to ask if he had gotten her something and to tell him that I have gift bags so he needn’t worry about wrapping it. He said no, he hadn’t. I suggested he go. He gets a little irate- just a little- so here’s the conversation that followed…
Damien (somewhat irritated): But mom, I asked her what I can get her for her birthday and she said she doesn’t want anything!
Moi (trying not to giggle): Okay, you don’t have to get her anything, I just want to let you know that she may have said that- but I can promise you she’ll be very disappointed if you go to school with nothing. Especially since you are officially a couple.
Damien (annoyed semi-silence): mm-hhmm
Moi: I dunno why sweetie, but for some insane reason, girls are raised to believe it’s polite to ALWAYS say no when they’re offered something.
Damien (still the annoyed semi-silence): mm-hhmm
Moi: So what you do is go and get her something tiny and preferably shiny or snuggly, stick it in a gift bag, and when you see her in the morning you hand it over with a smile and say you just couldn’t resist it.
Damien (still somewhat annoyed): okay…
Moi: I wish I could explain it sweetie, but that’s just how girl’s brains are programmed to work.
So when I got home he had bought a tiny faux-silver diamante “F” cellphone-bling-charm thingy. I gave him a little pink drawstring gift bag and he had drawn her a poster slash card. I didn’t say anything else, he was pleased with his purchase and I didn’t rub it in at all. When I sent himn a message at school to ask if she liked it he said “yes”. Thats it.
I think he may have an advantage… if he remembers everything… because its not the first time I’ve explained a bit to him about how women’s minds work. Like telling him how- by the end of the first date- the girl slash woman has already imagined the wedding, the children and where they’ll go to school, meeting the parents and family, where you’ll live, and what it’ll be like if slash when you divorce. Its no bloody wonder the girls get so upset when you dude’s don’t call!!!