Quality VS Quantity Reworked!

For a mommy blog- mine hasn’t had much on it in the form of mommy-type posts lately has it? Then I popped over to Tracy the other day and inspiration struck! Not hard thank goodness- I might have been bruised from lack of inspiration-receipt practice.
Tracy is a blogging ADHDer mom; and one of my favourite (and long term) blog reads. She doesn’t post very often- but it’s a doozee when she does!!! She is a poet and songstress, and
this is her most recent poem:

Sweet Alone Time

I went to spend an hour alone
with my precious son,
within a few short minutes
I knew I’d come undone.

The energetic vampire
had sucked my patience out
and I found myself quite helplessly
chewing the darling child out

My God how did it happen?
My intentions were so good
he’s really not a horrible kid
he’s just misunderstood

But just the same I walked away
as he climbed another wall
I suppose an honourable retreat
ain’t a bad deal after all

At least I think I can safely say,
we may live to try another day.

Bunnies, I cannot tell you how often I have started something with Damien and within 5 minutes I wanna tie him to his chair and scream at him to pay attention because doesn’t he realise I wanna do something with him, dammit!!
I mean, it has always been pretty much just the two of us, so we have AMPLE “quantity time” together- but any mommy out there will know how hard it is to devote “quality time” when there’s things to take care of like washing (laundry for my non-Sowff Effrikun readers), cooking, dishes, tidying up, bathing, homework, and in many cases- other kidlets and a partner too!
And I’m not talking about helping with his homework or revision or tidying his bedroom- nonono- those are chores always approached with a measure of dread…

I’m talking about cooking. Baking. Or something crafty, even just reading a story* or watching something on TV+.

I’m talking about the things I “start” because I want to spend some quality time with him… You know- like you would see recommended by Martha Stewart on TV, or things suggested in parenting books. Spending time focused on something together. Something with a finished outcome that we can look at and say “we did that” even if it’s not permanent.

And I prepared for these adventures with the best of intentions… I even kept a huge box full of empty egg boxes, toilet rolls, lick-n-stick paper, glue, glitter, paint, fabric off-cuts, old Christmas cards… all sorts of things that the knucklehead and I could make things with. But of course, when I was in the mood to do something- he wasn’t. Though the box of “stuff” was a lifesaver when he told me he was bored and I let him at it.

So when DID our “quality time” work like a charm? It was awesome when he told me he was bored, and I put aside what I was doing and did something with him. As a result of these VERY infrequent moments when I decided to grab the chance and do something to un-bored him, Damien can cook and bake pretty well. And he can do laundry. Bonus for me… but I do wish I had done it more often.
What makes it hard is that, to put it simply, Damien can NOT sit still.
Oftentimes even when he’s medicated he is very quickly fidgety and restless. Unless of course he’s playing PS2 or computers, painting his Warhammer models, drawing or watching Animax (and sometimes Cartoon Network). When he was younger it was his LEGO that kept him occupied for hours. And this ability to hyper-focus is one of the aspects that cause people to call an ADHD definition and diagnosis into question… but that’s a post for another day.
As always, Tracy’s poems always strike a very strong chord for me… like she’s writing about my life with Damien! Of course… only another ADHDer mom would know what I mean… and yes- it’s that difficult to explain!

*things that one may consider fun
+yes I know- TV is not always considered quality time- but if its National Geographic about something he’s interested in, like sharks… or a movie I know he’s going to love… I consider it quality time. Okay?!

4 thoughts on “Quality VS Quantity Reworked!

  1. I was IMing with Gen last night for about an hour. She’s still in the Bush enjoying herself and having a great time. She was also VERY impressed that her connection was holding up very well (normally she loses it every few minutes). Anywaysssss she asked me pass on her love to you, that’s she hoping things are good with you and that she is safe and well and hoping she’ll be able to make the big move in a few weeks, sooooooooooo I’ll “pass on her love to you, that’s she hoping things are good with you and that she is safe and well and hoping she’ll be able to make the big move in a few weeks” *snicker* 😉

  2. sweets: you’re more than welcome to it tjomma!! a couple of decks of super trumps stashed in the car works wonders too…

    kingcover: 😀

  3. Every boy goes through stages like that and not necessarily because of ADHD. I’m not saying III went through it. I was a complete angel when I was young. No honestly I was! Honestlyyyyy! *sniff, you didn’t fall for it :-(*. HA!

    I call it “washing” too 🙂

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